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AIBU?

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Original poster

To worry about taking the £1?

145 replies

Movoun · 23/10/2024 09:45

For context:

  • Currently living at home with DM and DF as we are are buying a house and waiting to move in.
  • Almost 2yo DS was initially scared of the doorbell but I've been bringing him to answer the door with me and now he gets excited and says hi to all the delivery people etc.

This morning DS and DM answered the door. It was a man saying he'd noticed roof tiles missing and asked if he could do a free quote. DM declined as we already have a roofer in the family. The man was typically 'laddy' but pleasant enough.

I've heard of the scam where people go up on your roof, cause damage and then charge you to fix it, so it may have been that. I don't know. We live near a traveller site and it's not uncommon to get people from there coming asking if you need work doing. We always decline and that's the end of it.

When DS said bye-bye at the door, the man said bye back and then found £1 in his pocket and gave it to DM to buy him some sweets. DM thanked him and he left. DM later said she felt bad taking it but also felt she would have caused offence by insisting that she didn't want it. I watched the exchange and I'm inclined to agree. It would have felt awkward to insist and would have meant pushing the money away quite forcefully.

At the same time it feels weird to have taken £1 from a stranger who came to the door, and my overly-anxious mind is panicking that this could somehow be used as a reason to come back.

Please tell me I am being crazy? I do have a lot of anxiety issues at the moment so accept I could be making something out of nothing at all.

OP posts:
Yourcatisnotsorry · 24/10/2024 22:24

It’s common in the north east to give babies coins. Silver particularly is good luck. Don’t think anything of it.

Kjpt140v · 24/10/2024 22:07

If it was a traveller, then it is not a surprise. They adore children, and a coin is a little bit of a tradition to give.

FlowersOfSulphur · 24/10/2024 20:56

Was he Irish? When I was a child, old men aways used to give us kids money...it sounds bad written down, but it was just a nice friendly thing, for luck

Cherrysoup · 24/10/2024 20:40

Very common up north, all the babies got given silver when we first met them, obviously the parents would remove it pretty quick!

MrsPositivity1 · 24/10/2024 20:35

Theunamedcat · 23/10/2024 09:53

It's common practice in some communities to give children money they can take offence if you refuse

This ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

restingbitchface30 · 24/10/2024 20:27

You’re being weird! He was just being nice! My mind goes into overdrive too, sometimes I just need telling I’m being weird!

Hoplolly · 24/10/2024 20:21

Jellycatspyjamas · 23/10/2024 09:56

Not just a traveller thing, in my community it is common to give a coin to babies/small children. Taking a baby out in the pram people would stop for a chat and tuck a coin under the pram blanket.

I had that happen but it was only travellers that did it.

HollaHolla · 24/10/2024 20:19

Oh, and it's supposed to be silver. From what was the norm in our family, anyway!

HollaHolla · 24/10/2024 20:18

Yourethebeerthief · 23/10/2024 09:59

Very silly. Haven't you ever had anyone give your child money before?

Common in Scotland to place a hansel of money in the pram, or when they're older to give them 50p or £1 and say "here's a wee penny for sweeties"

Show quote history

Yup. My Mum & Dad would still do it now. Central Scotland, and they're in their mid-70s.

Beastieboys · 24/10/2024 20:17

Movoun · 23/10/2024 10:02

@Yourethebeerthief No genuinely never. I'm in the north of England. People always just popped their head into the pram and said hello and the only time anyone gave money was family giving a note in a card as a gift for birthday/Christmas etc.

I accept it's odd I've not heard of this though as it sounds like it is common.

I'm from the" proper north " lol near the Scottish border. And when I was younger it was half a crown or two bob .....don't see it happening now though

Shmee1988 · 24/10/2024 20:16

When my DS was born we took him on the train to get registered. Sat right by us was a man who I can honestly say looked like a real gangster. He wore the sharpest most expensive type suit, expensive shoes, expensive hair cut. Very 'gangster looking face' with a big scar down his face and a shaved bit on his eyebrow. He just looked super intimidating. When his stop came, he paused next to us, popped a £2 coin on the top of the buggy and said 'it's good luck to give money to babies' smiled and got off the train. I was so surprised I only just about managed a thankyou. This happened regularly after that. I'd think nothing more of it :)

HashtagShitShop · 24/10/2024 19:52

I have to admit I've done it once last summer . A little boy we didnt know was talking to us as he and his mum toddled past. Because we were talking and he laughed and waved at us he lost his balance and fell over and burst into soul breaking tears. I felt so sorry for him that I gave his mum a pound for him to get some sweeties to cheer him up.

MadeInYorkshire69 · 24/10/2024 19:48

My husbands Irish relatives always used to do this when the kids were little - slipping money in their pockets. It did make me feel a bit uncomfortable to begin with

Spoink · 24/10/2024 19:43

Yourethebeerthief · 23/10/2024 10:05

The number of people saying they've never heard of this or saying that it's dirty 😮

What a bloody shame. I'm glad it continues to happen in Scotland.

Yes! DD1 got given a pound by a lovely old lady recently, and she's 5! She'd hurt her hand and was upset in the shop, and at the end the lady gave her £1 and said to buy some sweeties to cheer herself up. DD1 was delighted! Not uncommon round here when you have a new baby out and about too.

Whyamiherenow · 24/10/2024 19:40

One time we were on the train with the baby and he ended up with double figures money from people passing by and giving a coin to the baby. It was a long journey 3.5 hours but still. It’s pretty common and a bit of a tradition.

NoAprilFool · 24/10/2024 19:33

I’m feeling very hard done by. I live in Scotland and have never experienced this!

VeryCheesyChips · 24/10/2024 19:25

As a child I was often give a pound by strangers we came into contact with or people we didn’t know very well. I’ve also seen my dad do it once or twice over the last few years but certainly not at the frequency of my childhood.
Definitely not sinister and it’s a little depressing that we live in a society where you were worried it could be!

JayJayj · 24/10/2024 19:14

I’m in Yorkshire, 39 years old, strangers would sometimes give me and my sister money when we were kids. I’ve had it a couple of time with my toddler as well.

TrixieLouBelle · 24/10/2024 03:37

Gawd. All the talk of giving little ones a coin brought me a childhood memory long forgotten. I was with my mum at the till, aged about 5, when this well dressed posh looking big lady asked if she could give me some money for sweeties. My mum said ok. I remember getting all excited as the woman fished about in her big purse, retrieved a coin, bent down and with a great big flourish she presented me with a.....two pence piece. I still said thank you as I stood there with a dumbstruck look on my little face. I'm quite old but I'm not so old that two pence would have been enough for even a small single sweet. If you're going to partake in this particular tradition, make sure the child isn't old enough to understand what a cheap fucker you are.

AlexaSetATimer · 24/10/2024 02:59

Yourethebeerthief · 23/10/2024 10:05

The number of people saying they've never heard of this or saying that it's dirty 😮

What a bloody shame. I'm glad it continues to happen in Scotland.

Me too.

My son is a teen now but when he was a gorgeous baby, several older ladies in our (small, rural) town would stop to admire him and press a coin in my hand for good luck.

It's a lovely tradition.

Nc789123 · 24/10/2024 02:26

I'm in Scotland and it happens here too. Didn't realise at first but yes, lots of coins in the pram under blanket and other random occasions

Noodlesmumm · 24/10/2024 01:58

When my daughter was about 2, I had to bring my daughter along to do my Avon deliveries. Often my customers would give a couple of quid to her (about 25 years ago). I was uncomfortable with it because I didn't want her to expect cash/gifts from people xxx

Original poster
Movoun · 23/10/2024 23:20

Newdaynewstarts · 23/10/2024 20:50

you live near a Traveller site… why is that relevant.

I assumed everyone would tell me it's 100% a scam. And while I think it's likely it was, I wanted to explain that we live near a traveller site so people often come around looking for work and so it may have been legitimate.

I thought this was a common thing with travellers. I assumed because they move a lot they are more likely to pick up short term jobs and would explain why they're cold calling for work. I apologise if I've got this wrong.

OP posts:
Newdaynewstarts · 23/10/2024 20:50

you live near a Traveller site… why is that relevant.

ToyFace · 23/10/2024 20:47

That is so sweet!! I'm sure it's harmless and I can't imagine what scam it could lead to.

(Though I can totally magine myself worrying about something like this as well because I'm a serious over thinker.)