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AIBU?

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Original poster

First world birthday champagne problem, AIBU?

65 replies

LilacWriter · 22/10/2024 23:38

My boyfriend who is from another country is cooking me a birthday meal. He asked what I wanted and I asked for my favourite dish by him. He replied saying he's decided on something else which is traditional from his country which is honestly not my favourite at all but I'm not going to be ungrateful.

I got good champagne as a gift from my parents for us to have with the birthday meal (birthday and Christmas are the two times of year I have it) so I said I'll bring this and he says 'no we should have beer with the dish, it complements better"

It's my birthday. I don't want effing beer! AIBU to enforce birthday champagne?

OP posts:
Boltonb · 23/10/2024 00:02

Red flags all over. I don’t like the sound of him at all.

Eenameenadeeka · 23/10/2024 00:02

You can have champagne, he can have beer. More champagne for you hah.

Is he a confident cook?? I wonder if he's picked it because he is more confident making it.

Original poster
LilacWriter · 22/10/2024 23:58

@Gatecrashermum we agreed we'd spend my birthday together so cancelling would be bad form and quite serious I think.

I was touched he asked if I had a request so I'm not impressed at his response. Even though in his response he's clearly putting a lot of effort in - but I really think hes projecting what he'd want for his own day.

OP posts:
Gatecrashermum · 22/10/2024 23:52

I agree with the poster who said both his responses are red flags

You asked him for a specific meal - he refused to prepare it and is doing what he likes better instead. Honestly, this would have been enough for me to cancel.

I'd tell him you're not happy he didn't listen to you, and it's your birthday, you want champagne.

So you're going to have the champagne with someone else- I'd meet up with a friend instead.

Have his crappy cold meal with beer another day. Maybe his birthday?

Original poster
LilacWriter · 22/10/2024 23:51

@ErrolTheDragon

I'll enforce the champagne but I think I'll feel quite spoiled saying I don't want the dish he wants to make.

I just wish he hadn't bothered asking if I had a 'birthday meal request' ffs. A cold meal on my birthday because it's the tradition where he's from. Great.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 22/10/2024 23:46

So, tell him - your tradition is to have champagne on your birthday , and as the meal he was thinking of doesn't go with it it'd be nicer if he does the one you'd asked for (which I assume does).

Original poster
LilacWriter · 22/10/2024 23:46

Should I say something about why did he ask what I wanted if he'd decided for me?

He made me this before at Valentine's and it was nice as a novelty from his country. But it's a cold dish and tbh not really what I want. He's getting all excited about how he'll present it etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
LilacWriter · 22/10/2024 23:45

@SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament

'Piss off, I'll drink my birthday champagne if I want to' has a ring to it

OP posts:
GreenCereal · 22/10/2024 23:45

LilacWriter · 22/10/2024 23:42

Again today first world problem

But he already didn't take on board the dish I asked for and then tells me what well be drinking

This is my birthday and I don't really see why we need to do it 'his way'. He's also baking me a cake in the style of his country.

Show quote history

It can be both a first world problem, and important to you. Why bother asking what you wanted, then going with his decision anyway?

I'm sure if you truly thought about it, you'd realise this happens more than you think, and it's not a great relationship.

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 22/10/2024 23:43

Tell him nope and take the nice bottle of champagne to enjoy yourself. Don't 'enforce' it on him - what a waste. If he tries to insist you don't drink the champagne, tell him to piss off.

Kitkatcatflap · 22/10/2024 23:43

Why did he ask 'what you wanted' if he had already decided what he was going to cook? Honestly, I would say your birthday Mel is more about him than you.

Original poster
LilacWriter · 22/10/2024 23:42

GreenCereal · 22/10/2024 23:39

Honestly, both his responses seem like red flags.

Again today first world problem

But he already didn't take on board the dish I asked for and then tells me what well be drinking

This is my birthday and I don't really see why we need to do it 'his way'. He's also baking me a cake in the style of his country.

OP posts:
Nogaxeh · 22/10/2024 23:41

Hmm, this is your birthday, not his event. Why did he ask what you wanted if he was only going to ignore you?

His behaviour is a trifle self-centred.

Grepes · 22/10/2024 23:40

I don’t think you are compatible.

GreenCereal · 22/10/2024 23:39

Honestly, both his responses seem like red flags.