If anyone had came across a post about husband gone to Las Vegas when baby six month old, this is the extension of the post.
basically husband went to Las Vegas and I wasn’t happy ☹️. He came back repair the relationship and treated me to luxury spa. That had made up for it short term. I did request to have a calm down convo with him to establish clearer who does what and when for the long term. I just want to make our relationship better. He didn’t take it well initially, he prepared to be one sided of me saying his wrong. Turned out, it’s peaceful and we were clearer morning evening how much load we shared. The chat was on Sunday.
it all falls apart. On Monday he back to usual self, said he woke up late for work and just dash out home!! I utterly disappointed. So the early hours of Tuesday , I just don’t follow the plan either. I just asked him to get up in the middle of the night to look after the baby. He had overtime till 9pm and need work next day, but I just didn’t care. Last night I hardly had any sleep.
this morning I was surprised he made breakfast for me before he headed to work. But on return, zero communication, stared at the bloody phone but when baby is in the room he lightened up to full power. Awful. Then I asked him to change nappy, he just nod but half an hour later he closed his eyes as of overtired. I showed sympathy, so I change the nappy. But on return, he back on the phone again. So he gave me the feeling that if do chores he is tired . After I done it, he is Ok. So I asked him still have one more feed and change for the evening , would he be doing it. He just ignored me. I said am I talking to a wall. Then he said what?! And we back and forth , I asked why he didn’t answer me. Why he ignored me. He did not listen to me. Then he just said that’s a statement. Not a question. We just back and forth as in he is saying you didn’t ask a question. Kept saying I made a statement . But I was finding out if he is too tired for the eve so I am taking over or baby is ok to leave it with him so I can retired for the evening. I even said that . Then he is back to you made a statement that is not a question completely went off the key point.
so I broke out . Just loose my temper . Then he woke up as in finally presence and said calm down calm down. By then it’s too late, I ought to taken over for the evening. I just put baby to sleep.
i had calmly and we sat down on Sunday specify what we should be doing before he off work and when he is back. And it’s just two days after the chat, as in the chat just went off the roof?! He back home just not presence what so ever. Today he helped to heat up the dessert but just switch on the bloody light and timer . So have to double the waiting time. I felt what an eyesore to have him in the house .
and I hated it he always presented himself a responsible dad when in front of my fam his fam and friends. And all my irritation was really him not pulling his weight and I even spell it out what he got to do. So when I was angry, he would just conclude it as post partum depression . And he not think he play any parts to help the situation. He had just asked me to go counselling and think that would resolve the problem. I think he should go to relationship counselling.
i guess this is relatively common new parent relationship problem. Anyone got suggestion (other than divorce) to help us overcome this obstacle. I feel sad.