My boyfriend wants a baby. Opinions please!

Yes, it would be absolutely nuts to have a baby.

You don't have a baby "since that's what couples do". Don't bring a baby into such a new relationship - eighteen months is nothing, and I note he hasn't mentioned marriage.

Regardless of how much he has brought to your life, you don't owe him a baby.

A wedding ring is a symbol of commitment, not a baby.

Plus, he hasn't said anything directly to you. What you heard is all hearsay.

I will put it bluntly how will you be as singe parent to 3 children

Is it fair on the first 2?

There is no way I would do this a baby is not an accessory

I would have a serious conversation with him about whether he wants kids or not. The last thing you want to do is waste the next few years of your life only to get dumped because he's decided he wants kids. And people who say they'd rather give up on having kids to be with someone have a tendency to change their mind about that as they get older. The Reddit r/childfree board is full of such instances.

If you're open to eventual commitment and babies with this man, that's one thing. You're only 31 so you have years yet. But if you don't want a third, it might be kinder to both of you to break up.

If you had not overheard his cousin, would this be an issue?

NO.

Do you though? Do you know he really wants his own kids some day? Do you not trust him when he says he is happy with being with you?
Maybe let him loose now so he can be with someone who is not trying to be like Mystic Meg and predict everything.

Honestly, you are going to sabotage what seems like a great relationship with all of this mind reading.

If it’s just to give him the experience of having his own child, then it might be better for him to use a surrogate and then they both have children of their own biologically, and the siblings will all be equal as they will be either biologically related to mum or dad. Less chance of jealousy and resentment then.

Women should draw their own boundaries about how many children and if they want children, you set a boundary op, children shouldn't be a reward for half decent good behavioir from the men you have relationships with 🤦‍♀️

Ignore his cousin. He's happy with you and doesn't want kids. You can't predict the future. Maybe he will desperately suddenly want them, maybe you will decide you do want more, or maybe not. But that would be the case regardless of who you were with. The fact is it's going well. This may sound sexist but I don't think men get such a desire to have children the same way women do.

Why can’t you be his family? You don’t need biological children to be a family. Look at all the people on here who have step children, adopt, have donor sperm, donor eggs. What if you have another baby and it ruins the relationship between you and him, or you and your children.

I personally would have one because he hasn't got any, if he had some from a previous relationship I'd stick to my guns and not have any.
I would feel that I needed to let him feel the experience of having his own child, seeing as he try's to bring so much to the relationship, I would want to fulfill his desire for a child.

It’s a relatively new relationship, and you don’t live together. You have two young children, and you didn’t want any more. Having a baby in these circumstances would be insane.

So based on his cousin’s reasoning, you would be having a child so that that child can care for him when you leave him.

Mad.

You're 31 and 30? Cool the jets for a bit. If you're only spending less than half a week together and without the kids for most of that time, you are really only getting to know each other properly now. You actually have the luxury of a few years before having to make this decision. In the meantime, you're overthinking everything based on one remark

Yes, it would be crazy to have babies with him only because of him and not because you, too, want it.

Have a sincere talk with him to see how he sees it. If you really do not want another baby, tell him and let him decide whether he wants to stay with you regardless.

Both of you are still young and have time to change your mind if you live with him and want a baby later. I would absolutely not do that if you haven't tried to live together.

And the nosy cousin should realize that your guy, as a man, can have kids almost anytime, even as an older man, unlike us women. So his point is kind of moot.

The more you write the more I think you are just hell bent on ruining this relationship for yourself, just try to calm down and put the baby talk on the back burner, your children don't need drama like this going on around them.

By all means ask him about his future kids plans, but if he has already said he is happy with just you... then what else what do you want him to say?
It sounds like you have already made your mind up to give him some sort of ultimatum that he has not asked for and would be clueless about - you don't get to tell him that he "deserves" his own family... that is up to him. You could be potentially messing up something great because of some comment you overheard from his cousin.
Maybe you should let him go as a favour as you are always going to be second guessing everything.

If you think he wants kids, and you don't, you need to leave. He'll likely say he's fine without them for now, because he loves you and can't imagine you not being there.. But if he wants children that won't go away.