AIBU to cancel my daughter’s CAHMS assessment??

The eating disorder specialists don't go round causing eating disorders. They're usually quite knowledgeable.

Can you contact them to explain how and why their questionnaire misses the mark, prepare a briefing note for them on what the issues actually are and keep the appointment?

I agree that I wouldn't want those questions anywhere near an impressionable young person with a history of eating difficulties but it sounds like the right kind of assistance would be helpful.

I would keep the appointment on the basis that if the medication stops working and you need the appointment the referral process is so long you may not get another.

i agree that parents don’t always answers these questions the same way children would. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to gatekeep here

I would keep the appointment. Quite honestly, if you feel that questions about her eating habits would be enough to trigger a bigger problem, it sounds like she may need some support. Just answer to the best of her/your ability and see how things go.

CAMHS have an absolutely massively long waiting list here. I'd fill it out myself and go so I didn't get taken off the list.

I'd fill it in yourself instead. I definitely wouldn't postpone or risk being taken off the list. By the time you're top again she'll be 13 and potentially with an eating disorder!

Are you sure there's an option to postpone?

Camhs services (they're all different) rarely want a long list of people who might demand to be seen at short notice. It's more likely that if you decline this assessment they will discharge your dd back to care of her GP, and if you want to go back to CAMHS later you'll be starting from scratch.

It's normal to get a lot of questionnaires during the assessment process. Simply being asked a question does not engender mental health problems in people who did not have them. That said, if you're really unhappy with the questionnaires just don't fill them out. That won't stop you being seen. Don't fill them out on behalf of your dd - children's views as reported on questionnaires often come as a surprise to their parents.

My dd has had to wait so long for CAMHS that I would take any appointment going rather than risk waiting another few years for a re-referral or just getting lost in the system.

But I would fill the questionnaire in yourself and just talk her through any questions you think wouldn't upset her and to which you don't know the answers without her.

i would complete the questionnaire with your daughter but leave out the qs that you are worried about, or explain why they are being asked in an age appropriate way.

Definitely attend the appointment because the waiting lists are loooong. If it’s not helpful for your DD then so be it, but don’t miss the opportunity because of strangers’ experience on the internet which may be totally irrelevant to your situation.

I would fill it in myself.It is early days with the meds and things might change .

…I found CAMHS to be fabulous with DD.. just to add !

Yes possibly delay..

Interested in your post though as rings a bell with my daughter.s constant tummy symptoms. She use also hyper aware of breathing.

Maybe I need CAMHS referral!
My dd is autistic and had poor interoception.

Don’t cancel the appointment, but also don’t fill in the questionnaire. Go to the appointment, and talk with the staff, you never know how the next few months / years will pan out .. and you don’t want to have to go to the bottom of the list.

I think I would cancel, yes.

I say that as a parent of a 13 yo Autistic girl who also has numerous physical medical issues. CAMHS seemed unable to be able to differentiate between the two and really didn't get it. They ended up causing more stress than good. It frustrates me no end, although I accept they are not experts in all areas, I still think they pigeon hole kids.

You could always ring to explain the situation and ask if they would keep something open to re referral for the next 12 months. (It has a name but I can't recall what, where you don't go back to the back of the queue)

Best of luck with the new treatment.

Fill the questions in yourself and send it off. It could still be mo ths before you're offering a face to face appointment and her medication might carry on working in the meantime, in which case you could cancel the appointment when it rolls around, but just in case it doesn't you should stay in the system so that you remain in the "queue".

I think I would cancel, yes.

I say that as a parent of a 13 yo Autistic girl who also has numerous physical medical issues. CAMHS seemed unable to be able to differentiate between the two and really didn't get it. They ended up causing more stress than good. It frustrates me no end, although I accept they are not experts in all areas, I still think they pigeon hole kids.

You could always ring to explain the situation and ask if they would keep something open to re referral for the next 12 months. (It has a name but I can't recall what, where you don't go back to the back of the queue)

Best of luck with the new treatment.

If you cancel the meeting and then the medication stops working then you would almost certainly find it very difficult to get another referral.

I'd be inclined to move ahead with both.

I understand that you are worried that asking your daughter these questions could give her another problem with eating (I did write the term eating disorder but it sounds like she already has physical problems around eating that may have triggered anxiety).

It's very unlikely she will develop anorexia or bulimia from being asked questions.

I agree with your reasoning on this actually, I'd postpone for now (or fill out the questions yourself!).