To tie my child to the table

Do you eat meals with him? I'm not saying it's a cure all but if you are all sat down together and there isn't anything going on elsewhere it would cut the distractions.
Also, where do you eat? Can you eg eat in the kitchen, remove the toys and shut (kiddy lock of necessary) the door so he can't bugger off?
Tieing him down does feel a bit wrong, but confining him to a space with less to distract himself with seems reasonable.
Or are there any small special toys you could offer that he ONLY gets at the table? Something like small cars to push around between mouthfuls, but he has to stay at the table or you take them away.
Plenty of adults play on their phones or read at the table, nice as it would be, sitting and focused solely on the food isn't the be all and end all, not sodding off to do acrobatics is probably a good goal though 😆

My son (2.5) is like this.

I switch between 1) berating myself and trying every which way to encourage him to eat at the table and 2) giving in and choosing the path of least resistance.

Looking at it objectively, I think he sees eating as just another activity that either he's interested in or not in the moment. He doesn't really understand the concept of mealtimes and although we base our meals around the traditional breakfast/lunch/dinner I think he sees it as optional, much in the same way that playing with cars or reading books is an option.

Hopefully in time it'll get better, but in the meantime I know that getting stressed out about it doesn't work.

Kids of 3 and 4 often need less than you'd think to eat and drink.

Go back to basics to help him learn to recognise hunger and that eating helps.

1. No snacks. Seriously. If he's not hungry for meals he doesn't need them.
2. Smaller portions. Have a very small amount on the plate and let him ask for more if he wants it.
3. Fixed meal time. 20 mins at the table no toys etc, after which he can get down even if he's not eaten much.

If he asks for snacks an hour later - serve up the dinner again. Rinse & repeat

Also, when I’ve finished my meal, I sometimes offer her to eat on my lap, which she usually takes up.

Also keep the dialogue going and be relaxed about everything

You never know he might stop for a few minutes if you find a topic he is interested in

YABU. It is normal for a 3 year old to not have the concentration to sit through a meal. Especially if they can see their toys etc. it’s annoying but normal.

We have two rules. Food stays at the table and no playing during dinner. So anytime she picked up a toy I’d say she can have it after dinner is finished. And that doesn’t just mean her. If she decides she is finished with her food I would say fine, put it aside and if hungry later then that’s all that’s offered and it can only be heated up once (obviously but I explain that to her).

Just adjust your expectations and accept that it’s a phase, like nearly everything parenting wise.

Seriously irritating though.

@grrihateteatime We have the same child! Can empathise with you. Sorry you’ve not had much understanding on this thread.

My 3, almost 4 year old is just not that interested in food and meal times take forever. We have lots of ups and downs too, lots of ‘I wonder if you can get back to your seat before I can count to random number’, that seems to do the trick to get him back to the table, but then we have to play games (like can you guess what animal I am? What can you think of that’s spotty? Etc) to keep his attention long enough to get food in him. We sometimes still resort to spoon feeding him. Somebody in a toddler class said she had the same problem and she used magnetiles to capture her daughter at the table long enough, but it’s not something I’ve tried.

This is exactly what DD, DS and I did when I was there age.

None of us have any particular interest in food either

We have all been diagnosed with ADHD.

Even an oak table is not safe

Don’t even bother trying to control his behaviour, Think of it as telling someone off for blinking.

Don’t stress too much. Eat your own meal and ignore the running around

DS and DD would do a lap of the garden between mouthfuls

Both excellently behaved in restaurants and cafes

Can you pus the table against the wall have him sit next to the wall and you sit next to him so at the first sign of trying to escape you can stop him? My best friend did this as well as putting a timer for 30 mins. At the end of 30 mins he could get down. If he ate or didn't but no other meal was served by the 3rd day he behaved and ate.

Think I’ll tie my 3 yr old to the bed. Three hours now trying to get him to sleep. He is tired he hasn’t napped. 3 year olds are just pains! I hope yours goes to bed as mine does eat at the table although he can do a lot of messing and annoying brothers too!

Surely the table would just fall over or the stuff on it end up on the floor.

Do you have time/ could you try doing a heavy work / gross it or function activity or head to playground first then transition into a more relaxing activity Lego/duplo/ magna tiles / sorting bits first? Then visual timer?
Also you can do things where you strap reisistence bands round the legs of chairs so you / they can swing their feet and enjoy the pressure / sensory input, whilst staying seated

If it was my child, i would set a 10 minute timer. He has to stay at the table for that amount of time. Serve him a small portion. Bring him back every time he leaves the table. After the 10 minutes his food goes away and he can play.

Maybe 5 minutes to start with and build up to 10. Small reward if he doesn't leave the table before the timer. 5 minutes = 5 smarties maybe?

It will take time but if you're consistent it will improve. Don't make it about the amount of food he eats, it sounds like he fills up earlier in the day. No point in a stressful dinner time, it will make you both miserable.

So MN won't like this but I had the same problem, our evening meal was taking 90 minutes. And I had one premature child who was constantly underweight at that age so it was important I got them to eat. Like yours they didn't care about food unless it was junk of course! So my solution was to have the Tv on. It at least focussed their attention a bit to stay sat down. It didn't make it any quicker but I was getting less annoyed which I think definitely made it better as I was sure they could feel my tension and annoyance. As it got better I started reducing the amount of time the TV was on (so putting it on part way through the meal). To make myself feel a little better about my solution I did make sure it was something mildly educational. But to be honest at the toddler stage I'm all for 'whatever gets you through the day'.

Could you try 5/10 mins of vigorous movement immediately before a meal, like Go Noodle (can be found on YouTube) or songs with dances like shake your sillies out? Might help to regulate him enough to focus on dinner? My eldest was not bothered about food either so it did not help to motivate. He eats loads now at 13 🤣

Good luck op. And if it doesn’t work then google drawing talk and the rest. Might help your child. Nonsense or not.

I think you don't understand my point. I am glad you are happy but just don't give advice out of your scope of practice.

Lots of judgement here from people who have never experienced this.

Going through this with my son OP. He is totally hyper, and for a long time people kept brushing me off with "Oh thats totally normal for boys/his age/ he position of the moon this time of year". If we put him in a highchair and strap him in he screams and throws himself around. "Just tell him off/you are the parent" BS doesn't help or work.

Hate suggesting this nowadays as you get jumped on for "jumping on the bandwagon", but my son is being assessed for ADHD and Autism (there are other things he does that are indicators).

Like I said, of course most children do. It would be odd otherwise.

It was you that started a thread OP, if you do not want practical advice stop wasting other people’s time. Just say you find parenting hard and just want a handhold.

There is no need to tie your child to the table. But it seems you don’t need practical advice anyway. Good luck.

It’s not wrong actually. I was responding to OP, not you personally. And even with ND, those are good things to try at home. If you want. If not, like I said, just eat in front of the telly. My son only ate Kellogg’s K for about a year. He did not eat at nursery or school unfortunately. He is not ND. I am so happy we have all these new things to try, and to provide tools to parents that can work.

That's good. I'm going to go against the grain and say take a path of least resistance here, he will outgrow it and it's not going to be worth your energy to "correct" something that will come with time.

Also for a bit of fun sometimes I do my kids an indoor picnic for some novelty... If there's no table you might feel less stressed by it 😂