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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mum not coming on Halloween - irked?

454 replies

CleverAzureDreamer · 22/10/2024 16:28

My mum has just let me know she’s having her hair done on Thursday evening next week so she won’t be coming over to ours to go trick or treating and watch a spooky movie with the kids (8, 10, 12). I’m slightly irritated by this as I thought it would have been nice to have a family night dressed up and go round taking the kids trick or treating.
I’ve allowed older DS to bring a friend over to come with us so it won’t be so empty but I just found it a bit selfish for a Nan to not want to spend Halloween with the grandkids! AIBU?

OP posts:
maudelovesharold · 22/10/2024 18:11

Yes Halloween is not English, it's an Irish/Scottish cultural event and a million times more exciting for kids than that boring November 5th "penny for the guy" (burning the effigy of the catholic Guy Fawkes) English cultural event that is now dying out as its crap!!!!!

It certainly isn’t dying out because it’s crap! It’s dying out because of increased health and safety constraints and people taking against home and street fireworks because the noise frightens animals. I’m obviously not advocating for people to be injured and animals scared, but don’t try and pretend that a proper bonfire night is boring.

Go to Lewes on Nov 5th (almost impossible now, unless you live there or know someone who does). I was taken there as a child several times and witnessed fantastic parades with flaming torches, effigies of political and other figures of the day (including the Pope) which would be burnt at various bonfires round the town, and burning tar barrels being rolled down hills, in addition to the fireworks - all organised by the local bonfire societies. Boring it was not! It’s probably much tamer and more pc these days, but still a spectacle, I’m sure.

lemonmeringueno3 · 22/10/2024 18:11

PhoebeFeels · 22/10/2024 17:30

What total American imported nonsense. I'm one of those that does not answer the door.

It's not American or imported.

lemonmeringueno3 · 22/10/2024 18:11

"She literally said she thinks her mum is being selfish....🙄"

You can roll your eyes as much as you like. Asking for opinions about whether her mum is being selfish isn't the same as dictating what her mum can do. If she was dictating, she'd have insisted or told her mum she had to come.

Maddy70 · 22/10/2024 18:10

What? Is this a serious post? Its halloween not Christmas day

SwingTheMonkey · 22/10/2024 18:10

Drinkdrinkduuurink · 22/10/2024 17:21

For all the English ignoramuses who know nothing about Halloween.

https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/ten-trick-or-treating-facts-for-impressive-bonfire-chats-1.1983165

Scotland and Ireland started tricking

"A few decades later a practice called 'guising' was in full swing in Scotland and Ireland. Short for 'disguising', children would go out from door to door dressed in costume and rather than pledging to pray, they would tell a joke, sing a song or perform another sort of "trick" in exchange for food or money.

The expression trick or treat has only been used at front doors for the last 10 to 15 years. Before that "Help the Halloween Party" seems to have been the most popular phrase to holler."

__

Yes Halloween is not English, it's an Irish/Scottish cultural event and a million times more exciting for kids than that boring November 5th "penny for the guy" (burning the effigy of the catholic Guy Fawkes) English cultural event that is now dying out as its crap!!!!!

English kids wanting to do what Irish kids (me in the 80s, and my parents and their parents etc. before me) and Scottish kids have been doing for well over a century is not their fault that Halloween is bloody better than that Guy Fawkes tedium.

Edited

What an odd thing to get so worked up about.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 22/10/2024 18:08

Are you in England?
I'm Irish and I have some friends who have moved from England and none of them are very bothered about Halloween

LetThereBeLove · 22/10/2024 18:06

CleverAzureDreamer · 22/10/2024 16:34

She has come every year before. I don’t understand why adults can’t enjoy festivals like Halloween, Easter and even Christmas to a certain extent?

Halloween isn't like Christmas!

ChristmasCwtch · 22/10/2024 18:05

This reads like a reverse 😂

Yes, YABU to insist anyone has forced fun on Halloween 🎃

AgileGreenSeal · 22/10/2024 18:05

PhoebeFeels · 22/10/2024 17:59

@ddd4 I am the kind of person that insists on saying Mothering Sunday rather than Mother's day. Mothers Day (they don't usually bother with the apostrophe) was invented as a device to sell cards and gifts.

I accept that Halloween has existed for many centuries but how many people explain that background? I suspect fewer than those who explain Christmas and St Nicolas.

It’s the background of Halloween that puts me off it.

mumda · 22/10/2024 18:04

She's a year older than last year and maybe she's had enough of the nonsense. It's cold and damp and miserable usually so perhaps she wants to stay in.

MSLRT · 22/10/2024 18:03

This must be a joke. As a grandmother I can't think of anything worse than trick or treating. Don't you have any friends?

AgileGreenSeal · 22/10/2024 18:02

CleverAzureDreamer · 22/10/2024 16:34

She has come every year before. I don’t understand why adults can’t enjoy festivals like Halloween, Easter and even Christmas to a certain extent?

Christmas and Easter are the antithesis of Halloween, imho.

I celebrate the first two, despise the third.

Avatartar · 22/10/2024 18:02

I suspect she doesn’t like Halloween, being trailed about in the dark with screaming kids getting high on sugar - great night out - not for all. Don’t push her on it - just see her another time

Miffylou · 22/10/2024 18:02

CleverAzureDreamer · 22/10/2024 17:01

The kids enjoy spending time with her. Last year we made cupcakes with her before treat or treating (which she suggested). It’s not as though she’s a cold Nan. I just thought it’s nice to spend time together with family and friends but clearly I’m in the minority.

No, you’re just in the minority when you think trick or treating then watching a kids' film is an enjoyable way for an older woman to spend time with her family.

Blueblell · 22/10/2024 18:01

I think she probably doesn’t want to go trick or treating and I am afraid I don’t blame her. I was very happy when I no longer had to do all that with my kids.

PhoebeFeels · 22/10/2024 17:59

@ddd4 I am the kind of person that insists on saying Mothering Sunday rather than Mother's day. Mothers Day (they don't usually bother with the apostrophe) was invented as a device to sell cards and gifts.

I accept that Halloween has existed for many centuries but how many people explain that background? I suspect fewer than those who explain Christmas and St Nicolas.

ChefsKisser · 22/10/2024 17:59

I’m close with my parents but the idea of being sad they’re not coming on Halloween seems very odd. Have a good time with your kids!

MouseMinge · 22/10/2024 17:59

I'm not sure it's even anything to get irked about. Things change, Halloween can be fun but it's not the be all and end all.

It's not like it's Christmas and she's come round to yours drunk and pissed on your Christmas tree.

Chickensataystirfry · 22/10/2024 17:58

Madness! Just because she came once doesn't mean she has a duty to come every year! Probably once was enough 🎃

Deadringer · 22/10/2024 17:57

We love Halloween in our house and even though my youngest is 15 she is going to dress up and go trick or treating with a couple of her younger friends. But, their grandparents have never been involved other than perhaps sending them up some sweets. So I think yabu.

LadyGabriella · 22/10/2024 17:57

By the way, what’s everyone’s feeling on the sweets your kids get from trick or treating? Do you check them all before allowing them to eat. Not sure if I’m being too paranoid these days…

Ohthedaffodils · 22/10/2024 17:55

Maybe your mums getting older and feeling aches and pains when walking about in cold, dark autumn?

5128gap · 22/10/2024 17:55

I look after my DGC whenever I'm asked, overnights too. I've looked after them, doing the grunt work since they were born. I'd give them my last and walk over coals if they needed it. But if my DD thought at the age of 55 I'd go traipsing round the streets with my good white table cloth over my head interrupting my neighbours tea for a mini pack of haribo...she'd have another think coming.

YourCheeryRoseHedgehog · 22/10/2024 17:54

HermoniePotter · 22/10/2024 16:40

For goodness sake the woman is allowed to have her hair done at whatever time suits her. What a childish nasty comment.

Show quote history

Calm down Hermione. It's called a joke.

KnickerlessParsons · 22/10/2024 17:52

I’m slightly irritated by this as I thought it would have been nice to have a family night dressed up and go round taking the kids trick or treating.

I can't think of anything worse than trick or treating.