To hate being single

Then I think it sounds more like you are traumatised from your involuntary break up.

Have you had any counselling?

It's not wrong for you to feel angry & resentful.

I hate being single, it seems we're not meant to day that. I hate that it's just me and if I died in my sleep no one would know for a few days. My cats would be starving.

I hate being single but I also hate dating so not sure what the answer is.

Wanting a dad for your DCs feels like a very different aim from a young single childless woman wanting a boyfriend.

From the step parent board on here it doesn't look at much to aspire to.

If you met someone with DCs, would you want to be a mother to them?

Don't confuse 2 different things

You CAN manage. You really shouldn't rely on someone else to deal with your life, kids and all.
I mean it kindly, just reverse it. How unattractive would a man be if you heard him saying he needed a female hand to manage his life and kids.

You don't want to be single, you are missing the partner aspect, the one you see without kids and so on.

Relationship should just be for fun to start with.

I am single at 39. I do feel people look down on me or find it weird that I am not actively trying to look for a man. I am an introvert so love my time to myself but would be nice to have someone look out for me and go on adventures with.
I do think however that there are very few relationships that I would like to be in when I look at the couples around me. I also think relationships are a lot of work which isn't always talked about.
Fair enough if you want to meet someone but it shouldn't be the default way to go for a woman or for a woman to feel less than without a man.

You will. It will start getting easier from now, you don’t have to wait 8 years! What are you looking forward to right now??

I thought the same but you'll find a way through. You never know what's around the corner 💐

7 is still quite young. Mine is 15 and from the age of about 7 up it really started to get easier. It’s hard in a different way, but you can get your life back. Hang in there.

Single with young children must be very hard especially if you are the kind of person who thrives on doing things as a team.
I hope you meet someone soon. x

I've come to terms with being single, but I do miss physical affection. Not sex, just a hug.

I went out last night with some women I'd not met before (work friends of a friend). They all hugged me as part of saying goodbye at the end of the evening and it was lovely.

Being a single parent is not easy. How old are the children? It does get easier. You are mostly trying to get through chores, home admin, a job and support your children. No wonder so many of us feel low at points. My only suggestion is to try to do things you enjoy. Can you do something you enjoy, just for you, once a week? Walk with a friend, cinema whatever. I’ve found small pockets of joy can make a big difference. I am fairly content at the moment, got much more comfortable in my own company.

But they don't come.

Which makes the feelings of worthlessness worse.

I think single people all go through that 'I can do what I want' phase, and you'll hear lots of people really praising it, for a while, but then the loneliness will inevitably set in.

Cooking for one (or just having a crap diet), the sitting on the couch lethargy, the repairs or house thing that someone else could do a thousand times easier, the 'letting yourself go' because you've got no-one to impress, the holidays with no-one to share the memories with, couples/neighbour events where you're the awkward one in the corner... and probably way worse with kids, as there's often no support/buffer to help you through, it's 24/7 intense. Singledom all sounds wonderful initially, but the reality hits you like a tonne of bricks!

I think it's a real challenge these days as everyone meets online, just wants hookups, and/or has been burnt by bad relationships.

Men don't approach these days (after years of people telling them not to); they don't want to seem like they're harassing, so just be pleasant and smile at anyone you fancy, ask for help in the supermarket, don't be shy... they'll come :)

. I could have written this post

I've been single a long long time and it's not through choice

I've given up and just try to enjoy life

I do get a bit annoyed at all the posts about "bliss" going on holiday alone and going out alone, but I think it's different when you have no choice

Hi , total empathy here , I absolutely hated being single . I was a single parent and I just found Sundays , on my own with a toddler to be utterly depressing.

I can relate, so much. I was the single one for years. I left a relationship in which I was due to get married when I was 30 and apart from the odd short term thing I was single right up until this year (I'm 42 now). It was hard. I had great times but there were also many times I felt like I would never meet the right person and felt helpless and alone. However, in my rational mind I knew that it was likely that eventually I would actually meet someone even if it wasn't until much later in life. I really invested in the idea that I wanted to make sure I didn't regret time I'd spent single moping (I still did mope a bit but made myself snap out of it as much as I could) . It was important to me that I remembered that I was still a 100% complete person without a partner and aware that I didn't want it to seem like when I eventually did meet someone that HE 'made me happy' so I probably deliberately always put on a positive face. That was exhausting. I met my current partner who is great online dating. I know online dating can be awful and I had many crappy experiences but is still recommend it. I've also joined a gym recently, not your usual gym but an organised class and tbh if I was still looking I think it would be likely I'd have met someone there (typical!). I suppose I just want to say I understand, I know at times it's hard to believe but you WILL meet someone. Take good care of yourself and it will all fall into place when the time is right (even if like it was for me it feels such an incredibly long time!).

I hate it too OP. A few weeks ago, a man in the park gave me a hug and I'm slightly embarrassed to say that it felt so nice! I find that I can't be bothered to do anything on my own.

I've been single for about six years after being almost continuously in relationships for almost thirty years. I'm attractive and funny in an autistic sort of way (think Victoria CM without the boobs and minus at least 10 IQ points) but only much older men seem to notice me. Sometimes they follow me around and I find it a bit of an insult! My reproductive hormones disappeared around seven years ago so I wouldn't choose someone unsuitable in desperation but there are no suitable men around and I can't see any appearing. I gave up OLD ages ago.

I've been single for 20 years and used to really hate it but am used to it now.

I've currently got flu and can barely move so it would be great to have someone to look after me. It's at these times I miss having someone.

After about 15 years of no physical contact, I was so desperate that I got into an abusive relationship. I knew he was abusive but was so desperate for company that I tolerated it. It only lasted a few months and I missed the company when it finished.

I'd like to be in a decent relationship, but don't see it happening which is a shame.

YANBU, I hate it too. I’ve been single a long time and I’ve done all the things you’re supposed to do to embrace the single life, I’ve traveled, excelled in my career, have plenty of friends and hobbies, look after myself, have had therapy but I just want someone to come home to, someone to love and share my life with. I know women who have that and I do think why them and not me, what is wrong with me that the only men who wanted me were men who’d abuse me or leave me?

It just gets worse as you get older to be honest as the best men are all taken and any decent man your own age can go younger and usually does. So you get left with the men who are practically old enough to be your father who are looking for a nurse with a purse or younger men who either want to be “taken care of” or just want sex with an older woman they assume is desperate.

Honestly the men some of my single friends date is dire no money, no house, no leave to remain in the country. It’s like the Wild West out there but that urge to find someone is so strong.

I end up feeling inferior to women who have husbands and are able to pin a man down permanently and it makes me bitter at times.

Just my honest truth.