Is this harassment?

I've just been to a talk about stalking and thr police officer said that the aim of the perpetrator is to keep in the victims yeeline and head, he is doing this with flowers, gifts etc and will escalate so please report every incident.

Is he still contacting you? I wouldn't give up on the police. Tell them every time you receive something from him. This is definitely something they should be dealing with.

I'm sorry the police haven't taken this seriously @HiImNewE this website has some useful information, including a link to the Suzy Lamplugh Trust - it might be worth talking to them too? www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/sh/stalking-harassment/what-is-stalking-harassment/
This contact by him is unwanted and does constitute harassment. Keep a record of everything and keep trying the police. You have been very clear you don't want to have anything to do with him.
If you are feeling anxious and panicky, it might also be worth speaking with a mental health practitioner, you can usually see someone at your GP surgery. X

Stop contacting him! This is what he wants! And don't contact the flower shop, his work or try to intervene in any other way.

Block him and keep him blocked. If he sends you anything else, make a note of the date and take a photo. Any kind of communication or unusual phone calls, screenshot/photograph them and make a note.

If he turns up at your house DO NOT open the door or speak to him. Call 999 and tell them a man who has been stalking you has turned up at your home and you are afraid. Likewise if he approaches you in the street. It's a game, just stop playing.

This is my professional area. Some of the advice you've been given on this thread will increase risk and undermine a criminal case, so please contact the National Stalking Helpline (run by the Suzy Lamplugh Trust). They can assign a caseworker who can advocate with the police and go through a detailed safety plan. In the meantime:

• It's not harassment, it's stalking. When you speak to the police, keep using this word
• Do not contact him or respond to him in any way, even to tell him to stop. Keep all evidence and a log of all the contact you receive from him. The police will need to see all contact is one way only. If they say you have to tell him to stop, this is a myth and more than once I've seen this used to undermine a case further down the line
• If you're blocking him, do not block him everywhere; keep one avenue of communication only (but do not respond)
• If the police offer to talk to him or give him a caution, do not accept and ask them to investigate properly
• Report every incident to police and quote the original crime reference number, so the course of conduct can be identified.

The Helpline will be open again on Monday. I'd call them and ask for an advocate as the police are not actioning your reports.

@HiImNewE please understand , he is doing all these things to get a reaction from you. So he does 5 things and you react, he knows just how many times he needs to harass you to get what he wants.

Its very VERY important that you dont

contact the florist
go to his work
put anything in writing
warn him
have anyone else speak to him
threaten him
return any gifts

unless of course you are told to do that by SL trust.

Don’t waste your time doing a Claire’s law request , if he is a dentist he can’t have any convictions like that .

I'd be worried he would turn up on the doorstep if she does that.

Don't muck around playing stupid pretend games. Do not engage.

Do you know the name of the company that delivered the flowers?? Could you get someone you know to call him claiming to be from the flower company and just say that they attempted delivery but unfortunately the delivery person was told the person the flowers are for moved out of the address a few weeks a go?

I would do a Claire's law request to the police! If he flashes up on that, they will take you very seriously!

I agree with pp, please contact the Suzy Lamplugh Trust ASAP. They have issued a super complaint against all UK police forces for not talking stalking seriously enough. They will help and support you with reporting this. Don't ignore this problem as it won't go away.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/sep/27/stalking-victims-left-at-serious-risk-by-police-failures-report-finds

No no no

There was a total twat on your thread saying some foul stuff.
I was talking to them but their posts have now been deleted

No the person who's comments have been deleted not you. Xx

Ah. You're a twat. I was wondering.

"You've dates no one stale beef flaps she should be grateful end of"

What?

It's not a generational thing. I'm in my 50s, and I've dated plenty of men round this age. Usually, they take no for an answer and don't harass you. This guy is being a creepy stalker.

@HiImNewE

You’ve had some good advice here and you need to listen to it . Thsi is what I think you should do .

Write a very factual timeline , just facts . Cut out all the Drama and comments that make you look a bit unhinged ( the flowers are ugly, is it because he’s 60 / black / whatever). . Just put the dates in order like this

12 august - met online on this app
14 august - exchanged emails / phone numbers
20 August - went to date to X

etc .

Tomorrow o please phone this charity and ask for their advice .

https://www.suzylamplugh.org/

In the meantime do NOTHING to contact him in any way whatsoever . Don’t message him , call him, send message cia someone else . Don’t reoply to any texts or answer call from anyone you don’t know . If you pick up by mistake and it’s him , hang up without a word .

Nothing - do you understand ?

Lockdown all your social media . I mean all.

Make sure your voicemail message is just the automated one and not your voice.

keep copies of everything he sends you.

If he approached you in teh street , say nothing to him and walk into a shop and ask for help . Call the police .

I've reported those comments, just someone looking for a reaction.

It's a twat posting so don't give them any oxygen/response. Like your stalker