I don’t really know how to word this properly, but I come from an English-speaking country which is very culturally different to Britain. Think loud music, loud laughter and sarcasm as conversation starters. I knew a man with one leg whose nickname was Runner, for example. Everyone called him this, including himself. These things are pretty standard in my culture, but I can imagine most Brits being horrified by it. Also things like “please” and “thank you” don’t hold as much as importance in day to day life.
I was brought up in a family who wanted me to “survive” British culture, so the ability to code switch is second nature to me and I have no problem presenting myself as “polite” to British people. DH, on the other hand was raised far more immersed in our culture than I was (AND he’s autistic), so he really struggles with what most would consider to be “basic manners”. I used to be incredibly embarrassed by it when out in public, but over the years I’m starting to care less and less as I realise that the British way does not = the “right” way. (I would love to be able to switch off and just not care like DH does, but it’s so deeply ingrained in me that I can’t.)
My question is, AIBU to think that rudeness or politeness are often simple cultural differences as opposed to a “good” or “bad” upbringing?