Sleep when the baby sleeps & chores can wait - theory vs practice

He is still so little and loves being close to mummy.

But I just wanted to say it is OK to leave baby in a safe space for a few minutes in a bouncer, cot, moses etc if needed. Never feel bad for having a few minutes to re group, to get a drink, to shove the washing on, to make yourself a sandwich.

They also get used to it if you regularly put them in Moses for a couple of minuites throughout the day.

I hate all the “sleep when the baby sleeps” etc advice as mum of a 6 month old! My daughter is & always has been a velcro baby, never had a day time nap not in my arms yet, so I can’t sleep! I use her nap times to watch TV and just chill out!

I do all eating/cleaning etc while she’s awake whether with her in baby carrier or with her in play pen/play mat beside me.

You just have to figure out what works for you and makes your life easier, there’s no right or wrong

@Gogogo12345 mine has reflux so after feeding him for 20 minutes, I need to hold him upright for at least 30 minutes or he would throw up everywhere. Then he'd need a nappy changed. Then he would start the hiccups so needed holding again. Then it's time for another feed, another hold, finally he would fall asleep. Sometimes he would scream as well the second I would try to put him down and yes, I eventually had to put him down to wee/eat, but it was horrible.

Now at 8 weeks it's not like this all day anymore but most of the afternoon (I don't know why he's so unsettled in the afternoon) so I feel for OP.

And at 3 weeks they are too small for a bouncy chair.

Just used to put mine down to do stuff like bung washing in, prepare food or shower. I really don't understand how a baby " can't" be put down for 5 minutes. They are small and immobile so quite easy to pop in Moses basket or bouncy chair

Although it's not easy to sleep when they do. Especially if you have an older one also

Mine lived in slings so I could get stuff done. I am also not a napper so could never do the sleep when they do.

I did used to stick them in their bouncer as I showered and allowed them to cry during it. It's important to take a moment to ensure you feel good too.

I used to eat and then sleep when my DDs were at baby/early toddler stage.

Possibly put the washing on and then have a nap.

This is exactly what I posted too. It’s all so overwhelming as newborns are more demanding of your needs but they also don’t move and so many mums (or dads) fall into the trap of doing no chores when their baby is awake and then spend the whole of nap time running around the house.

I know some babies hate being put down, but I do feel like they get used to it.

I used to feed my son, change him and then play for 10 mins or so on his mat with him then bring him with me and I’d wash up or clean whilst chatting to him in his bouncer. If you have a high needs baby maybe use a sling. It meant that nap times I could shower and relax.

It's stupid advice and even worse when said to a mother who also has a toddler.

Just do as close to nothing as possible when they're this small. When the baby is awake you spend time bonding with him, when he's asleep you rest or eat or nap if possible.

When DH is home ye needs to spend some time bonding with the baby if awake or doing chores if asleep.

What really needs to be done? Meal prep and cooking, spray and wipe for bathroom and kitchen, laundry. At weekends shopping, changing beds, vacuuming and any further cleaning can be tackled, and you get to lie in both days if you're up in the night doing feeds.

It does get easier. You've got a tiny baby, spend your time on that .

My baby would sleep in two hour chunks from about 11pm to noon. So I did too. I actually got quite a lot of sleep that way. I went to bed at the same time as the baby for quite a while.

I didn't wait for the baby to sleep to eat. I'd plonk dc in the play gym or use the carrier for that.

Similarly with critical housework.

It's a stupid saying, you need to be at collapsing point to fall asleep instantly when the baby drops.

Even if you TRIED, you are more likely to finally fall asleep when the baby decides to wake up and feel even worst.

That said... it's HARD with a baby, no question. But we tend to make it harder with number 1: when you have 2 or 3 or more, you are forced to get on with life, even with baby. Kids get fed, dressed, laundry get done, school run done and so on.

You need to do your laundry when your baby is awake, there's not other solution. Put him down for the 1 minute it takes to fill the machine and start the wash.
Put him down to empty the machine and hang the clothes.

Tiny baby don't move: you can lay them on your bed safely and fold the laundry while talking with him.

Or you can try a sling if you fancy them, I hated slings and never used one.

Try to regain the time your baby sleep as YOUR time, it's rare enough, but it helps to have a cup of tea and chill.

I would first of all take some pressure off - at 3 weeks postpartum you’re still recovering from birth and adjusting to your new life!

When you get into the swing of things I would say it’s a balancing act and it’s dependent on what your baby is like.

At that age naps are so unpredictable, you might have 10 mins or 3 hours.

I personally am someone who always tried to do chores whilst my DC were awake. It’s okay to spend them precious first weeks cuddling up to your newborn but reality is life still continues so I would try and do some chores whilst he was on his playmat or in a sling.

I have friends who really struggled with this, when their DC were awake they never ate, drank or did chores so we’re always at rock bottom. I can see why it’s easy to get into that routine, but I personally did try and put my DC down or in their bouncer / play mat so I can quickly wash up, sort laundry or eat.

Nap times… Take care of your basic needs first, if you need a quick nap then have one. If you are hungry eat, if you need a shower then shower. Then do some chores.

Sleep when the baby slept was the only way to get 6 broken hours sleep every 24 hours.
The rest of the time he was feeding, or in a sling doing stuff with me. Or screaming because I had the audacity to put him down to cook or shower.

You need to find what works for you and your baby.

Yeah it's soooo easy to fall asleep in the middle of the day, totally overstimulated from breastfeeding and taking care of baby, and knowing you may have 10 minutes or 2 hours of peace. Yeah, let me see the cunt who can actually do that.

Sympathies OP, I have an 8 week old and it's hard. I definitely did not do any chores at 3 weeks though. Like, nothing. I was just a zombie, on the sofa, with my boobs out.

I found that nonsense.

When the baby slept, I was needing to pump, or shower, or grab food, clean/tidy, then the baby was awake again!

Unless you're lucky enough to have resources like a cleaner or family who will come and do the dishes and clean the house up you can't afford to just not do chores or cook. You still need to eat and to live in a sanitary enough environment.

When people would say that to me I would just laugh and think wow, imagine being them. Some of us have to do our own cleaning and washing.

Yes much easier in theory than in practice! I would pop baby in a sling or bouncy chair and get chores done while they're awake. Even if you can't sleep while baby is sleeping, it's worth having a lie down and read or watch tv, it's still resting.

I agree with previous comments re doing all jobs when baby is awake. Then napping when he's asleep. You definitely don't need to wait until he is asleep to eat or shower. If he's fussy (try a sling, although some hate them) or it's fine to pop baby somewhere safe for a few minutes to sort things out.

Sensory lamp, music, and a bouncer. Use for 5-20m bursts to get a few things done simply. Especially things that include bending over etc.

I hate to be that person, but this was the easy point for doing chores because a) the baby can't make mess and b) they can't follow you around.

Re: laundry - I changed my baby for routine/freshness, but everything was worn twice unless soiled.

Its a balancing act, some days sleep when you need it, others do a few chores.

No point in depriving yourself of much needed sleep just to get chores done. Your house will be a mess but itbwill be either way

Sling and baby does jobs with you.

it’s a race against time to get things like eating and showering done let alone chores and naps. Eating is necessary, showering is not, unless you're going to be in a room with someone who isn't your husband.

Trying to get to sleep when you're overtired and know you need to be asleep within 10 mins is a recipe for stress and complete failure to get to sleep.

It was a relief to go back to work because I could sleep on the train.

It depends, I carried my baby in a sling so when she was awake I could put a wash on (takes 5 minutes), stack the dishwasher, wipe surfaces down, hoover. But basic stuff. Or I just waited and did it when my husband was home if it felt like a day when everything was unmanageable. I didn't sleep every time my baby did but one nap a day definitely helped a lot with the tiredness. I let big cleaning things slide, and only did those on weekends when there was extra time & support.
I put her in the bouncer in the bathroom to wave at her whilst I showered or I got up early to shower before my husband needed to work.
I actually found making meals the hardest as that required the most amount of solid time to make then eat.
But if you can, just lower your standards a bit for household stuff in the early days when things are tough & you're tired. I actually find napping hard but sometimes just laying down and resting helped, or having 30 minutes to myself with a cup of tea and a book or tv show. Depends what you need, what makes you feel calm and rested in those moments.

Also - hanging clothes out took ages, so we caved and got a tumble dryer which saved so much time on laundry.

I can't just fall asleep at the drop of a hat like a cat, and even when working nights I would find daytime sleeping pretty hard and inefficient. Plus I hate a messy, dirty house so just neglecting everything didn't sit right. So yes I did use nap time to get things done. DH and I took turns at night from day 1 so neither had a totally broken night every day.