Sleep when the baby sleeps & chores can wait - theory vs practice

At night time he will lie next to me on the mattress for about six-seven hours, feeding approx every 1.5 hours. I follow the Safe 7 co-sleeping guidelines.

In the day… I just have to hold him. I eat one handed, make drinks and snacks one handed etc. We have repeatedly tried putting him down in the crib / bouncer / Moses / play mat, but he just doesn’t like it.

How are you coping sitting up all night and day holding him?

I've had two children and I absolutely did not want any sleep deprivation each time so I took frequent naps when the babies slept and avoided feeling tired all the time like so many other new mothers do.

We made sure that everything was up to date at home and I kept on top of it whilst my husband was at work. When he came home he took over so I could have time for myself such as beauty regime, having a bath etc or for me to feed and feel as with baby whilst he did stuff in the home.

It was much easier with our second child.

“Sleep when the baby sleeps” is impossible with my five week old as he only sleeps in my arms!

And chores can’t be done when awake as he will not be put down and only wants to be… in my arms! 🤪

I think it's one of those things everyone recommends but very few people can actually do it!

It is only really feasible for first baby and then it depends on baby actually having a good chunk of sleep,

I was lucky with DC1 in that he was a winter baby and he slept well so we'd often go back to bed for an hour after DP left for work or take a nice, long afternoon nap, Still had plenty of time for chores and meeting friends and seeing family etc.

DC2 would be eyeballing me the moment I attempted to rest so it never really happened with her (she did co-sleep with me at night though as it was the only way I got any rest at all!)

DC3 was game over as I had DC1 and DC2 to manage as well.

There’s no secret to it. It all gets done somehow and you’ll fall into many rhythms over many years, until one day they’re all grown up.

You’re doing really well and congratulations!

It only works for DC1.

If you have a baby and a toddler you'll never achieve it.

I can't just sleep at random times no matter how tired I am so it was never going to work for me. I had a lot of days though where I was too tired to do FA.

I always put baby in the sling and did chores during his wake windows, but I absolutely slept while he slept as I needed it.

Just do what you can. At three weeks old babies are clingy, and you need to rest and recover physically. Look after yourself and the baby, and the rest really can wait. Absolutely no need to rush around - DH can tidy up when he gets home.

Try a sling (my baby hated them) or potter while holding baby if you can, but by all means just sit on the sofa and watch shit TV. I used to have some days where I got stuff done, and some days when I just slept as soon as baby was asleep because I was so tired. It changes as they get older, they'll be in more of a routine in a few months and then you'll know you've got a bit more time.

By the way, the other game changer to a sling is a feeding pillow that hooks around your back. Baby can feed hands free, and you can carefully eat at the same time (I say carefully as in no hot food - I got really cross with my husband always bringing me piping hot plates).

Tortellini and slow cooker meals - anything you can eat with a fork or spoon one handed.

I always hated that advice. Impossible anyway if you also have a toddler, and lots of adults don't benefit from snatching little bits of sleep during the day - it just makes you feel groggy. That on top of a sink full of dishes would be the absolute worst for me. Having spent quite a lot of the day trapped on the sofa under a newborn, when s/he slept I just wanted to leap up and DO stuff. Having a tidy house and clean hair was (and still is, more than 20 years on) really important to my mental health and wellbeing. I used the playmat and bouncy chair early on.

That's the other key part when you are three weeks in...outsource anything you can comfortably afford to, cleaning, meals (Cook meals are great, they do a new parent bundle), gardening, anything! I appreciate lots of people can't afford to but it makes a difference if you can. Also get all the dirty clothes in the washing machine ready each night and get your husband to turn it on as he leaves the house in the morning or put it on a timer. Then the next day you only have to think about hanging out that small load and you keep on top of it.

And please remember that this is the biggest adjustment to your lifestyle that you'll probably ever make. It gets easier as it becomes the new normal.

I did most the house work with my babies (and later toddlers). On a blanket/playmat at the floor or in a sling. Why not?

I have a 6 month old and when he was that little I used a sling like many others have suggested. I also felt like I couldnt sleep when the baby slept because I didn't want the house to be a tip.

I did have to come to the conclusion that if I managed to get one job done while he napped then that was good enough. He has just had a nap for an hour and I managed to make the dinner, put the rubbish out and load the dishwasher so overachieved today!

Sleep when the baby sleeps. Yes, and vacuum when the baby vacuums, cook when the baby cooks... Easy peasy!

You can keep him latched on in a sling. It's basically what kangaroos do!

I did chores whilst they were awake either on a playmat having a kick around or in the sling.

This might sound daft but with my first, I tried to imagine myself having a toddler to juggle as well - as many people do (and I did about 18m later). So if I couldn't find time to make lunch I'd wonder how I'd manage if it wasn't lunch for me but a toddler, and then I'd find it was ok. As new mums we are often rubbish at actually listening to our needs, so it's often better to pretend they are for someone else.

When baby had morning sleep I did chores,prepped dinner etc
Afternoon nap I slept

I found I whizzed through the chores in the morning, chucked stuff in slow cooker which was much easier and I felt better than if I left it all until the end of the day.
Also if grouchy, baby in a sling.

I slept when the baby slept loads. I'd eat and do laundry etc when baby was wake. I had one really chilled baby and one very angry and shouty one, what I was doing didn't change it tbh.

I think "Rest when the baby sleeps" is more realistic, with my first she had really long wake windows and only cat napped even when napping on me. I also had a real nervous response reaction to her crying so leaving her for longer than a minute or two really stressed me out and upset me. She also wasn't overly keen on the sling unless we were outside when it would take her a good 15 minutes or more to fall asleep. The first 6 months were tough but it slowly got easier after that when she could play on her own with a few things whilst I did jobs and she started having longer naps so we'd have a nap together in my bed as she still wouldn't be put down.
I now have a 13 week old and the difference between them is night and day and I can do all of the things people suggest and if it wasn't for the toddler I'd be getting so much sleep!

Hanging washing outside, take LO for a walk before the washing machine finishes, he'll fall asleep. Leave him in the garden whilst you pop in and out hanging bits up.

Our DS was jaundice and was like this for the first month, I think a lot of them are.

Tips that worked FOR US

replacing bottle or boob with dummy whilst drifting off, meant he was still suckling.

Feed right boob, nappy change, feed left boob. The change in the middle wakes them up for a nice decent feed.

remember every baby is different and that you’re doing great. Babies aren’t robots, none of them follow the should be or shouldn’t be guide x

I did sleep or at least rest when baby did. I prepped food ahead of time (overnight oats for breakfast, slow cooker for dinner, soup ready to heat for lunch, drinks made in a flask or travel cup) and made myself a station of wherever I was going to sit that day and feed with water, drinks, fruit bowl, book and TV remote so everything was to hand. Often I'd feeding my bedroom so I could doze.
I was / am a single parent if I didn't get some sleep during the day I'd not have been able to function.

Laundry sort into piles and chuck it in then into tumble drier. Put the first one of the day on a timer so it's done when you get up.

Baby sling is useful for getting knocked with things when they are awake and you can chat to them whilst you do things.

But it's less than 2 mins to load the washing machine and 5 mins to make a coffee and sandwich for yourself. Nothing terrible will happen if he cries for that time.
What do u think happens if you are dealing with an injured/ sick/ need attention ok older child. ? Can't be doing that as well as cuddling a baby constantly