Is this revenge on the OW fair or not?

No. We don't blame sexual crimes on anyone other than they perpetrator.

In this case the father is.

You are just being deliberately dense

But then what’s the root cause of the father’s behavior?

So the daughter should have hollered at the father and left it at that.

Nobody is ever the "root cause" of revenge porn and harassment.

Did I say it was. I was responding to the poster who was saying a man wasn’t the root cause of this. The father absolutely is.

Revenge porn isn't reasonable or proportionate though. Ever. Nor is harassing the ows innocent daughter. Reasonable and proportionate would be something more like shouting at her 12 years ago. And leaving the cheating loser husband.

My father’s OW is a marriage counsellor! 😂 I occasionally allow myself a little fantasy about trolling her social media, letting all potential clients know about all the disgusting things she has done. She did some really horrible stuff, in league with my father, specifically to hurt my DM. She obviously derives pleasure from the suffering of others.

I agree with a the PP who said it’s often too difficult for a child to hate the parent who has had the affair, and so all animosity it focused on the affair partner. I think it’s a bit unfair to simplify things to such an extent that we say she should have placed the blame solely with her father. It’s such a complex situation.

In my case, I have gone NC with my father, but we never had a good relationship anyway, so I didn’t feel like I lost much.

Or perhaps she was a shit person this whole time. Shitty people get cheated on too 🤷🏻‍♀️

As a grown woman capable of plotting a ‘revenge’ over a period of time, she is responsible for her actions. Unless she was psychotic, she was absolutely capability of understanding right from wrong, or at least illegal from legal, and acting accordingly.

But revenge porn isn't the way to deal with it. We aren't animals, we don't live in the wild west with no rule of law. We are supposed to live in a civilised society. If we think that this action is OK where do we stop? Do we beat up other people, or order their murder? Hopefully most of us don't.

Of course, but some adults get damaged along the way and aren’t able to act in a reasonable and proportionate way, due to trauma inflicted - in this case by a man, their father.

The root cause being the trauma inflicted by the father, that has had dire consequences on both daughters, but he gets to keep the marriage and is apparently in no way to blame for the eventual outcome.

I do agree with everyone though that the sentence is disproportionate, I'm not even sure it needed a prison sentence given what else doesn't attract one.

3 years is over kill. Should have been a fine, victim compensation and a suspended sentence. I think this is over the top.

I think there are many male offences of rape, sexual assault and harassment, that go unpunished and that this woman has received a disproportionate punishment, given the judicial landscape of the UK.

The root cause of the behaviour of the females is their own mistaken belief that they needed revenge rather than therapy. Which makes me wonder what other plots they would come up with if they felt revenge was called for.

No, I wouldn't do this. For one thing, it exploits and thereby reinforces the structural and systemic marginalisation and exploitation of women as a group. The fact that you think you've been hurt doesn't give you the ethical right to hurt other individuals, let alone further damage a disadvantaged and vulnerable demographic.

(Also, therapy exists.)

Grown adults are always responsible for their own behaviour.

I don't think anyone should 'just get over the heartache', if the dds and mothers felt so strongly he'd ruined their lives, the mum could have left him and never spoken to him again.

I think it's very difficult for children in these situations, because they are half genetically related to the cheater, the mum is not and so these plots of revenge are very destructive to the children psychologically. The OW is not their love rival and she's not the child/parent in this situation and it is wrong to drag the children into this, whether adult or not.

He hasn’t committed a criminal offence, but he is the root cause of the criminal behaviour of the female members of his family.

No he isn't. Being unfaithful is not a criminal offence. Posting nude photographs of someone online is. Most people who are betrayed don't commit these offences because they are not criminals. Eleanor Brown chose to be a criminal then showed no remorse, all of her own choosing.

I hear what you're saying but I very much doubt he shared those photos with the family willingly. My hunch is that it was probably another offence, that of hacking his phone or other personal device. Given the kind of access one of his daughters might potentially have had to his electronic records does make me feel a little uneasy to say the least. For this reason, I'm not sure who got hold of the photographs so whether the parents were responsible is not entirely clear.

I do agree that it does look likely that there was some degree of coercion of Eleanor Brown probably by her mother or possibly her sister. As the only person who was not a police officer, on the one hand she lacked the risk of a disciplinary but on the other hand she probably had less means of getting hold of the photographs. I would certainly like the police force that the sister worked at to check their own records to see whether the data on the father's phone ever came into their possession and if so how and why.

The father isn't mentioned because he didn't commit a criminal offence. I think we have to stop with this constant insistence that if a woman commits a criminal offence, there must be a man at the root cause of their behaviour. Women can and do commit criminal offences every day of their own volition.

A man is the root cause of this outcome. Don’t agree with the behaviour of any of the females in the family, but it would never have happened had he kept it in his trousers.
Again not condoning anyone’s behaviour, but betrayal can be devastating to some people with terrible long standing consequences, it’s not just a bit of heartache to get over and people need to understand this when start affairs.

Of course she isn't going to show remorse to the OW. She's hardly going to say "sorry" to the woman who, cheating on her own husband, shagged her dad in an affair that broke up her family which left her traumatised as a teenager. She obviously shouldn't have done what she did though as ultimately it's her dad who broke the vows to her mum who is responsible for the family collapse that she should have aimed her ire at.