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AIBU?

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Is this revenge on the OW fair or not?

487 replies

pinkgown · 22/10/2024 02:58

Obviously we don't have the whole story, but would you be tempted to do this, to take revenge on the OW on your mother's behalf? I think I might, if I felt my mother and my family had been torn apart by her actions.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj9j9lpgjxlo

A mugshot of Eleanor Brown - a woman in her early twenties with dark shoulder length hair and blue eyes.

Eleanor Brown jailed for sharing naked photos of father's lover

Eleanor Brown posted the woman's photos on an escort site as an "act of revenge", a court hears.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj9j9lpgjxlo

OP posts:
Fluufer · 22/10/2024 09:16

The sentence might seem harsh, but I actually think it's appropriate. Men are sentenced far too leniently for similar crimes - push for harsher sentences for them, not less for women. It was premeditated, malicious and she showed no remorse.
Inexcusable thing to do, and IMO mum and sister should have been sentenced too. A serving police officer!
And as usual, the man gets off scot-free from the chaos and trauma he put his teenagers through.

Hoplolly · 22/10/2024 09:15

The CPS guidance is a 6 month term for sharing nude photos without consent. I can't find a record of any man being jailed for 3 years for a similar offence, and think how many men share photos without consent. She is being treated harshly because she is a woman.

@Greenfinch7 She was charged with Disclosing Private Images

https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/magistrates-court/item/disclosing-private-sexual-images/

Given those guidelines, I think the sentencing was fair.

Gloriia · 22/10/2024 09:15

What she did was wrong, obviously. That said a custodial sentence, why?! She isn't a threat or risk to anyone.

Our judicial system is fucked. They are releasing criminals early yet lock up someone like this? Community service would surely have sufficed.

Sarahconnor1 · 22/10/2024 09:14

AGoingConcern · 22/10/2024 08:59

People wonder why sex crimes are so hard to prosecute.

Here’s a thread full of women looking at the victim of a sex crime and a good chunk are saying “well she probably deserved it for it for being the wrong kind of slut a decade before.”

She was asking for it.
Well I bet she learned not to go sleeping around anymore.
It wouldn’t have happened it’s she was more respectable.

Absolutely despicable.

This. The affair ended years ago, and the marriage appears to have withstood it. Her family should have helped her deal with whatever feelings she had rather than encouraging her and possibly giving her more information than she should have known.

Also she didn't just share explicit photographs which is illegal on its own. There were various aggravating factors. She posted abusive messages about the OW on an online profile promoting OWs husband's business. She then set up a profile on an escort site using the photographs and put the husbands phone number as the contact. She also sent abusive messages to the OWs daughter.

She was determined to hurt other innocent parties.

BarbadosItsCloserThanYouThink · 22/10/2024 09:13

I agree with all the comments that the sentence is too much, she's not violent and prisons are over crowded. What they did was wrong and crazy though.

MorrisZapp · 22/10/2024 09:13

OWRLOSERS · 22/10/2024 09:09

A much harsher sentence than any man would or has received, merely because she showed little remorse?
You have to wonder if this was handed down by an old misogynistic judge, who has little idea or training regarding the utter psychological life long impact an affair can have not only on the innocent wife but children of which she was when her father betrayed his wife and family.

They are the real victims in all this along with OW's family.

The irony of the OW's ..."I find it hard to believe a woman would do this to another woman. To say I feel violated is an understatement"

Cheating isn't illegal, and if it was, it would be the man sent to prison as he was the main perpetrator of that 'crime'.

Hoplolly · 22/10/2024 09:12

A much harsher sentence than any man would or has received, merely because she showed little remorse?

Two separate charges have added up to the three years given.

FeedingThem · 22/10/2024 09:12

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/10/2024 03:35

The irony of that comment is....something else. So her knowingly having an affair with a married man was not a woman hurting another woman?

And I also agree that a sentence far longer than most child sex offenders and rapists (of whom there are very very few who even have to go to court, much less convicted) is not on. Just proves the sexism and misogyny in the "justice" system.

We shouldn't be shortening other sentences because rapists get off too lightly, we should be using other proportional sentences to prove rapists deserve longer.

Unless you have a comparable sentence i.e a man posting makes photos of his ex, harassing her family and abusive her sister, you can't draw anything from the perpetrator's sex.

Is it clear the ow knew the guy had a partner?

TwigletsAndRadishes · 22/10/2024 09:11

I don't think what she did was right or fair but I do think a three year jail sentence is pretty outrageous. She could have glassed her in a pub and got less.

phoenixrosehere · 22/10/2024 09:11

YABVU

She should have gotten longer! She found out about the affair years after it happened and waited longer to take “revenge”. D

Her father chose to cheat, chose to cause problems in the marriage. Putting the OW’s photos on an escort site is sick and disturbing. It’s choosing to put her in a dangerous situation for something that happened a decade ago.

Too many women put more blame on the OW than the actual husband.

Anyone who thinks this was appropriate needs therapy. I do hope her sister is done as a PC. Not the type of person I’d want to encounter.

venus7 · 22/10/2024 09:11

DiddyRa · 22/10/2024 03:00

Yep let’s blame other women instead of the men. Sounds about right. Those poor little helpless men just can’t help shagging around.

This....spot on.

Tink3rbell30 · 22/10/2024 09:10

Resitinas · 22/10/2024 08:58

People like you are genuinely terrifying. Revenge isn't fair game. You make it sound as if what this woman did would have been ok if she hasn't been caught. Fucking awful.

It's not terrifying. I don't believe people should get away with this sort of behaviour.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 22/10/2024 09:10

Another2Cats · 22/10/2024 08:10

That's interesting. Would you mind sharing where that information comes from?

amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/dec/13/eight-in-10-convicted-in-uk-over-child-abuse-images-avoid-prison-nca-says amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/dec/13/eight-in-10-convicted-in-uk-over-child-abuse-images-avoid-prison-nca-says]]]]

Thats 80% who walk free who make it to court. 50% don’t even make it that far.

Wheresthebeach · 22/10/2024 09:10

No excuse for this. Truly vile and unhinged thing to do. Don't care if its a man sharing images, or a woman, it's a crime and blaming the victim isn't an excuse.

OWRLOSERS · 22/10/2024 09:09

A much harsher sentence than any man would or has received, merely because she showed little remorse?
You have to wonder if this was handed down by an old misogynistic judge, who has little idea or training regarding the utter psychological life long impact an affair can have not only on the innocent wife but children of which she was when her father betrayed his wife and family.

They are the real victims in all this along with OW's family.

The irony of the OW's ..."I find it hard to believe a woman would do this to another woman. To say I feel violated is an understatement"

MissTrip82 · 22/10/2024 09:09

No of course not. Thank goodness I’m not mentally and emotionally unstable like this unfortunate woman.

User19876536484 · 22/10/2024 09:08

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGGG · 22/10/2024 09:04

3 years is crazy

It’s two sentences for two crimes.

Maybe if she had shown some remorse they would have run concurrently not consecutively.

PippaKing · 22/10/2024 09:08

Greenfinch7 · 22/10/2024 03:38

The CPS guidance is a 6 month term for sharing nude photos without consent. I can't find a record of any man being jailed for 3 years for a similar offence, and think how many men share photos without consent. She is being treated harshly because she is a woman.

No she isn't.
She got a long prison term because she showed absolutely no remorse whatsoever. This wasn't a spur of the moment thing done in rage, this was 12 years later and was premeditated.

Edingril · 22/10/2024 09:08

They might as well get rid of police and courts and just get a bunch of fishwives to give 'justice'

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGGG · 22/10/2024 09:04

3 years is crazy

Hoplolly · 22/10/2024 09:03

AgnesX · 22/10/2024 09:01

She's being treated harshly for the sheer maliciousness that went into her actions. Her mother should have also received a sentence for projecting her anger into her daughter.

And, the father just walks away with no blame attached. Absolutely fucking terrific.

Yes, the judge commented on this and she had shown no remorse whatsover, which is why she got the sentence she did.

Judge Alexander Menary said Brown's actions had been "vindictive, selfish and vengeful" and told her that she had "relished the obvious discomfort" the offending had caused.

The judge said her decision to initially deny the offences had been an "act of brinkmanship", forcing the victim and her husband to go through the stress of giving evidence at trial.

Sentencing her to consecutive terms of two and one years for each of the charges, Judge Menary told her: "Your lack of remorse is staggering."

MinnieCauldwell · 22/10/2024 09:03

They also attempted to wreck the victims husbands business, he was totally innocent in all of this.
I must be getting really old but just can't get over the need for women to constantly share intimate photos, it is possible to have a relationship without taking pictures of your bits!

Resitinas · 22/10/2024 09:03

AGoingConcern · 22/10/2024 08:59

People wonder why sex crimes are so hard to prosecute.

Here’s a thread full of women looking at the victim of a sex crime and a good chunk are saying “well she probably deserved it for it for being the wrong kind of slut a decade before.”

She was asking for it.
Well I bet she learned not to go sleeping around anymore.
It wouldn’t have happened it’s she was more respectable.

Absolutely despicable.

Totally agree with this. Spot on. Said it better than I did!

usernother · 22/10/2024 09:02

It's obviously very wrong and illegal, but yes, I'd have been tempted.