Is this revenge on the OW fair or not?

No I don't agree with it, silly type of revenge and it backfired. But yes there should be consequences to this sort of behaviour.

I didn’t realise that the OW’s husband was a pimp! Or do you mean the phone number was his, not the site?

Everyone involved sounds dreadful. The mother who forgave her cheating partner and then spent a dozen years winding up her daughters about it might well be the worst of the bunch.

'Seems pretty fair all said and done'

Yes absolutely very fair, release domestic abusers early, give men community hours for far worse crimes <as posted upthread> yet give this women a massive custodial sentence for sharing nudes online of an ow without consent .

She also sent abusive messages to the OWs daughter.

So to someone in exactly the same position as her, ie a child whose parent cheated on their other parent?

I'm sure she'd have taken it well if that daughter had sent her abusive messages 🙄

She is an unremorseful sex offender. She poses the risk of further sex offences, obviously.

Ok, so twenty odd years ago the ow had an affair, and a reasonable revenge, in your opinion, is to share the naked photos on a public platform, harass the ow's child and husband causing them stress and trying to damage the family business.

So what revenge should the adult daughter and husband take on Eleanor? I'm guessing the punishment she gets is adequate for the OW's revenge but perhaps the husband can arrange for Eleanor to be photographed naked in the shower and he can post these online? Perhaps the daughter can arrange for her to be beat up? Actions have consequences after all

In what way is she not a threat to people when her entire campaign was exactly that.

She clearly is a risk to this woman and her family. She is utterly unrepentant about what she did and undertook a long and calculated campaign against them including the partner and daughter of the woman.

How on earth is she a risk to others.

A custodial service is absolutely batshit. I hope they appeal her sentence.

Completely agree

But this ridiculous notion by bitter women on Mumsnet that having been the OW automatically makes someone a terrible person who doesn't deserve friends or happiness of any kind and should be outcast by other women forever and ever amen is just tiresome now

What is tiresome is the expectation that the person wronged in these situations just slinks off quietly never to be seen again. God forbid people who have been on the receiving end.of cheating should have a voice.

Bitter is a word used to silence women. Particularly, and ironically, on mumsnet.

I disagree.

Cheating is wrong, but it is nowhere near that to a woman choosing to post nude photos of another woman due to an affair over a decade ago onto an escort site of all places, post it on the woman’s husband’s business site and send abusive messages to the woman’s daughter.

Ive always felt a bit differently about this - every woman I know has supported someone impacted by an affair in some way, and knows full well how unbelievably devastating and life-altering it can be … they also are keenly aware of the pressures and expectations put on women in society around relationships. And yet despite having this full and intimate knowledge of the pain caused, they do it anyway. That to me has always been more problematic because you are FULLY aware of the pain your actions cause and are actively choosing cruelty.

men, on the other hand, tend not to be the confidante in relationships (that’s a whole separate issue but it’s how things currently stand), don’t have lived experience of those pressures…. They are entirely wrapped up being selfish pricks.

I am in no way excusing them and - have had my own life seriously impacted by the both being cheated on whilst pregnant and will probably spending the rest of my life caring for someone unlikely to recover from the fallout of their marriage breaks down so am not minimising things . But I do think it’s comparing two very different types of culpability and have held the women responsible as they are definitely more aware of the fall out.

The sentences should have run concurrently IMHO. I also believe the massive psychological impact of her father's affair on the family should have been more considered.

Personally, I'd have liked the father to have stepped up and done the sentence. Those who have affairs lack any sort of integrity.

No. Why has her father been kept in the family with all the blame on the OW?

Maybe they were poloriods . It sounds like they were recently discovered , way after they were taken as the pain seems to be fresh and raw . I would think the husband hid them somewhere and they were discovered and everything cane out .

I agree. I think as a society we leave women who have been cheated on to feel they are somehow at fault- if only they'd been nicer/prettier/better dressed/earned more/earned less/thinner/focused on her marriage.....heard all of that when my ex walked for the OW. We are supposed to sit quietly, show no emotion 'for the sake of the.children' and just accept the better person 'won'. We never ask men to accept any accountability for their actions because clearly if his wife had made him happy, he wouldn't have done it.

Affairs are damaging. Too many people's lives blown out of the water for no good reason. What happened is, of course, unacceptable behaviour. But what this clearly demonstrates is the lasting, deep impact of affairs on all concerned.

The woman deserves to go to prison. The photos were 12 years old and she harassed the OW. It's illegal to distribute naked photos of someone without their consent and rightly so.

I do question the police woman mum who encouraged her daughter to do this though...

People who have affairs are immoral,
untrustworthy pieces of shit. And yeah I think if you play a major part in ruining someone else’s marriage, happiness and future then I’m not sure you do deserve to skip off into the sunset and live happily ever after yourself. I’m not limiting that to just women.

Her actions have shown that she is!

@phoenixrosehere but to say she can't believe a woman would do this to another woman trivialises the ow's behaviour too. All are awful people in this case.

Is lacking a moral compass another element?
Is being instrumental in wrecking the lives and happiness of other people another element?

I disagree. She is not remorseful, clearly thinks her actions are ok. So it is likely this woman could commit further sex offences in the future.

The irony of the OW's ..."I find it hard to believe a woman would do this to another woman. To say I feel violated is an understatement"

There is a massive difference between what the OW did and what was done to her by. It is nowhere near the same and trivialises the actions of the daughter.