Is this revenge on the OW fair or not?

This woman is nuts and her mother made her like that, it's awful parenting.

My dad had an affair, married and has been with the OW for over twenty years. He also had other affairs. I see him as weak, but I don't feel cross or angry about it all, I feel glad my mum found out and we all moved on, including her to someone much nicer.

I don't feel as scandalised by cheating men, in that I consider them unpleasant individuals, weak and a bit rubbish all round, and not suitable to have a relationship with, but I don't feel that level of aggression or revenge towards my dad, partly because my parents have been better apart and ultimately my mum has benefitted from his ridiculousness.

Revenge 12 years later is bizarre and speaks to extreme dysfunction.

I completely agree he didn't commit the offence or encourage Eleanor to do so as far as we know. However, he must have had some role in the images being seen by the family. Surely the OW didn't send them to the mother.

I think as part of this case, the parents should have been held accountable (I'm not sure on what legal grounds before you correctly ask, just in my ideal world) regarding how a child at the time came into contact with those images.

I think my wider point is that yes, Eleanor Brown is very much responsible for her actions. However there seems a very odd family dynamic in which she has been the one (because she isn't a police officer?) heavily encouraged to continue the harassment of the OW all these years later. She posted those photos but she didn't act alone. The root cause is her father's behaviour (and her mother's reaction), and their bad handling thereof. Not saying that is a judicial matter but it doesn't seem entirely fair if he hasn't intervened sooner to try and stop this getting out of hand.

The mother and daughter should have sought therapy, they held on to the photos and anger for over a decade. That’s not healthy.

So now we want to add perjury to the list of crimes? Saying the mother should pretend she did the revenge porn is really just too stupid for words. She may well have encouraged her daughter, and should have been prosecuted for that, but adding perjury?

Looking at the way the three of them have behaved, is there any wonder the father had an affair? The mother should absolutely be punished, she sounds like the most awful, vindictive woman. I can't believe anyone would even question whether it is fair!

I think I’m most astounded by the complete inability of the mother and daughters to scrape together a brain cell between them, especially considering one was a police officer.

Wonder if they’re still running on piss and vinegar, or if the reality of just how badly they’ve fucked themselves over has settled in yet.

No, it’s not a free pass to engage in equally poor behaviour but what is crucial here is the fact that people who have been cheated on are supposed to just suck it up and shut up. The damage this particular man did to his wife and kids clearly runs deep. How about he takes some responsibility for that?

Oh give over. Nobody is staying they have to suck it up and shut up. They're saying don't be a massive fucking twat.

But who knows, maybe the daughters and the mother are feeling AWESOME now. Maybe their "revenge" makes it all worth it and they're really happy with their lives.

In reality - the mother has done more damage to those girls than the father ever did.

. Personally I feel the mother should have lied and said she posted them, she stole her daughter’s details. Did it at her house. And she should have went to jail. But I’m guessing the Thpe of woman who did what she did, was always going to let her child go to jail.

I don’t believe the father should be locked up. He wasn’t clearly not part of this , and was not encouraging it, I doubt he even knew. You can’t lock people up as they cheat, thats just silly,

No affairs aren't illegal or criminal.

Sharing photos is much much worse.

Yes, of course. Again my point proven. It absolutely must be the woman’s fault her husband had an affair. If only she’d been a nicer person, he obviously wouldn’t have needed to get his end away with someone else.

No, it’s not a free pass to engage in equally poor behaviour but what is crucial here is the fact that people who have been cheated on are supposed to just suck it up and shut up. The damage this particular man did to his wife and kids clearly runs deep. How about he takes some responsibility for that?

Personally, I'd have liked the father to have stepped up and done the sentence. Those who have affairs lack any sort of integrity.

The father didn't do anything illegal. It would be bonkers to start locking people up for immoral behaviour. It's not the 1800s.

@Waterboatlass The father isn't mentioned because he didn't commit a criminal offence. I think we have to stop with this constant insistence that if a woman commits a criminal offence, there must be a man at the root cause of their behaviour. Women can and do commit criminal offences every day of their own volition.

Eleanor Brown committed an offence and was presumably encouraged by her mother and her sister although that couldn't be proven against the other women to a criminal standard. Most women who are betrayed by an unfaithful spouse don't do that; Brown made a decision to commit a crime that the law abiding public would not do.

It's also quite alarming and perhaps also telling that the mother must have kept those photographs for years before they were used. That behaviour is also very odd.

Consider a similar scenario where a wife is unfaithful and the husband encourages his son to beat up the other man years after the event. Would the unfaithful wife really be in any way responsible for that?

If she knew, it doesn’t say she knew that he was married.

Just as there are women who knowingly get with married men, there are men that hide and lie about their marital status, take advantage, and lie to their spouses about how things came about.

I’m wondering why they held onto the pictures for so long especially if the father and mother stayed together or did the father have them and they were found in his things.

I think it's unfair sentencing when pedophiles walk free.

I agree that unfair sentencing means pedophiles walk free but that doesn't mean that this is also unfair. Why shouldn't this woman get a custodial sentence after what she's done? The mother and sister should also have been charged.

Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
Her mom should be in jail with her.

No. I didn’t see your post as I was edited to say the same thing.

thank you. So not vastly different then.

There doesn’t seem to be much in it.

“Women are sentenced less frequently than men to prison or probation (13 and 3 percentage points less frequently, respectively). Prison and probation sentences are also shorter (18 days shorter for prison and 4 days shorter for probation) and suspended prison sentences longer (8 days) for women.”

https://research-information.bris.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/209890205/Gendergap.pdf

God this is so sad. Of course EB should absolutely not have done this but the damage that is caused by affairs is so great and far reaching.

I'm a wronged party and yes, can understand how vengeful someone can feel after this, even some time after.

I think it's unfair sentencing when pedophiles walk free.

Bloody typical that the man is relatively unscathed. 🙄

Karma would be her cheating on him, unless you think women should be punished for men's sexual behaviour?

don't be daft - i'm asking a question. I have repeatedly said that she deserves punishment. She's batshit

That's... mental. But I see it here a lot and both of my grandmothers believed that women were temptresses and men just silly children who couldn't be expected to make their own sandwich or say no to free sex so I'm aware it's a common belief.

do we have actual statistics on that? because i have read otherwise

People will always say that the other woman doesn’t have the loyalty that the man does. But if they are fully aware the man is in a relationship, I think they’re awful, horrible people. I had a ‘friend’ who got with my son’s dad when I was pregnant, he left me for her. Then when he ended up cheating on her too - she played victim. Like no, baby that’s karma.

Women will get with men knowing they’re in relationships because they think they’re ‘better’ than the woman they're with. It’s a power trip where they don’t care about hurting other peoples feelings. I think this is an extreme but on a smaller scale, surely some kind of karma or ‘revenge’ is a way to stop these women helping destroy other women’s lives. Again, I don’t think this is appropriate in the slightest, just on a smaller scale would be appropriate form of justice

If you were the victim of her revenge you might feel differently. I know I would.

that's why we have judges though, if victims of crime got to set sentences it would be chaos.