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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you believe “the heart wants what it wants?”

34 replies

BeRealRedSquid · 21/10/2024 21:27

We often hear the phrase ‘the heart wants what it wants’ when it comes to relationships or difficult choices. Do you believe this is a legitimate way to explain our emotional decisions? Or is it just an excuse to justify actions that might not make sense logically or morally?

AIBU to think that sometimes following your heart isn’t the right thing to do, even though it feels like it in the moment? I’d love to hear what you think about this idea and whether you believe the heart should always have the final say.

OP posts:
T4phage · 21/10/2024 21:36

Ridiculous. What if your heart told you to kill someone or snatch someone else's baby?

If it's in the context of romance, then it's sentimental rubbish.

Bullaun · 21/10/2024 21:35

It’s a slightly loftier-sounding way of say ‘I shag unsuitable and/or married people.’

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/10/2024 21:35

I think people very often act on their emotions or what they want in the immediate moment, without thinking about it logically or considering the consequences; but admitting this doesn’t sound very sensible or emotionally literate or mature, so they think saying “the heart wants what it wants” adds a sense of romance and glamour to it all.

Dotto · 21/10/2024 21:33

It's a bullshit excuse for emotional ineptitude and incontinence, see: Romeo & Juliet.

Allfur · 21/10/2024 21:33

Its a bit like a bigger more emotional verion of the marshmallow test, so essentially bollox

WrylyAmused · 21/10/2024 21:33

Emotions are a terrible way to make decisions, although quite a common one.

Sure, the heart wants what it wants, and you feel how you feel.
But you don't have to act on that, and hopefully as adults we have learnt to take a step back and think things through before reacting, because having no thought beyond your desires and emotions in the moment is essentially a description of how toddlers live life.

ThoraZ · 21/10/2024 21:32

I think you’re reading an awful lot into a fairly meaningless tautology.
And I’ve never heard anyone say this phrase personally, except once from Penny on the Big Bang Theory.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 21/10/2024 21:31

I think we make choices.
I hate it when people say ' you can't help who you fall in love with'. You might not be able to but you can absolutely choose what to do with those feelings.

You might fall for a married man...so what? You choose not to do anything about it.
We are not at the whim of our instincts like animals. We can think and choose and make active decisions.

WateryBottle · 21/10/2024 21:28

It’s absolute bullshit peddled by people to justify hurting others

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