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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is rather rude?

86 replies

123678user · 21/10/2024 20:18

We've offered to host my in-laws for an occasion, because our home makes most sense.

We've asked everyone to arrive from 5pm on a weeknight.

Several normal responses of "yes, lovely, what can we bring" etc etc. We've replied that there's no need to bring anything, we'll sort.

DSIL's reply is "yes, I'll be there at 4.30"

AIBU to think this is rude?

OP posts:
Original poster
123678user · 21/10/2024 20:28

Surely it's rude to announce that you're turning up earlier than the start time?

I wouldn't have viewed "would you mind if I came a bit earlier because of traffic or other circs" as rude.

I just find telling the host something outside of the invitation rather impolite.

OP posts:
AlertCat · 21/10/2024 20:27

Just reply “Please don’t come before 5 as we need a chance to get home from work and get ready!”

AD1509 · 21/10/2024 20:27

I’d reply “great- glad you can come- but to confirm it’s from 5”

doodleschnoodle · 21/10/2024 20:27

I guess there is back story here! Otherwise I would just say that maybe she was suggesting she would come early to help set up etc. but I'm guessing given you haven't interpreted it that way, there's a reason!

SarahAndQuack · 21/10/2024 20:26

Why wouldn't you assume she misread it and clarify?

MasterShardlake · 21/10/2024 20:26

Not rude, it would be if she turned up early without telling you.
just tell her not to come till 5

Original poster
123678user · 21/10/2024 20:25

To clarify, from 5pm means anytime after 5pm.

There's about two dizen people (adults) coming so there's a varying time of arrival to suit the workers. Everyone will stay most of the evening, but it's very flexible.

Well except the earliest arrival time 😂

OP posts:
MumOfOneAllAlone · 21/10/2024 20:25

I don't think its rude tbh, I wouldn't worry about it and just encourage her to help set up x

Minimum85percentCocoa · 21/10/2024 20:21

Not sure. She might want to come early to help you set up? Or have misread/misunderstood from 5 to mean around 5?
Have you responded to ask her to come 5pm or later instead of half four, please, as we won’t be ready then?

Spirallingdownwards · 21/10/2024 20:21

Maybe she wants to avoid rush hour traffic on a weekday. I wouldn't want to aim to get somewhere for 5pm. However I would have asked is it OK if I come at 4.30pm because of this rather than just announcing it.

sprigatito · 21/10/2024 20:20

I would reply with "No, please don't arrive until 5pm."

Some people just cannot resist pushing.