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Husband shouted at child for hiding something.

311 replies

MyGreenCat · 21/10/2024 20:02

Hello. I’m just back from a holiday with husband, son (8) and my two step children. While on holiday, we had two events booked. One for me and our son and one for my husband and stepchildren due to the events being for different age groups. Anyway, before the event we all returned to our rooms after getting something to eat from the restaurant. My husband put his vape on the bed and went to have a shower. He came back and it was gone. He couldn’t find it so started blaming and shouting at our son asking him where he hid it. Our son has a long history of hiding things, (phones, money, controls etc). I calmly asked if he had moved it and if so, he wouldn’t be in trouble (obviously) that we just wanted to find it before going out again. Husband started shouting where is it, I know you’ve moved it, it’s always my stuff you move. (It isn’t, he moves my things too, I don’t shout and rage about it though). He had another one with him so could have just opened it but refused and said no, I want to find the one that’s been moved. Son is standing with his hands on his head saying, I’m getting so stressed out. I felt so bad for him so kept saying to husband maybe he didn’t move it as you didn’t see him I’ve it so you can’t prove it. He just kept saying, oh I know he moved it, I’m so sick of this. Kicked some shopping bags that had clothes it. We still don’t know if he moved it or not. Even if he did move it, husband shouldn’t have reacted like this. Now that we’re home, I can’t even look at him without being annoyed. He thinks it’s not a big deal and annoyed that I don’t want to speak to him. What do I do?

OP posts:
Cas112 · 21/10/2024 20:12

Obviously your DH behaviour is acceptable but is your son pushing him to breaking point, hiding and taking peoples things is a really disgusting habit you need to stop. Once or twice as a kid playing pranks but repeatedly is not normal

RedRobyn2021 · 21/10/2024 20:12

What is wrong with your child that he keeps hiding things that don't belong to him?

Is this his way of trying to get some attention from you and his dad?

Your husband sounds absolutely awful to be honest, he needs to give his head a wobble and remember he's the adult

WeeOrcadian · 21/10/2024 20:11

Forget the hotel room

What consequences are there for your son when he hides things?

Snorlaxo · 21/10/2024 20:11

Kicking stuff isn’t good but your son should have outgrown this by now. A 2 or 3 year old doing this is one thing but your son must have experienced this reaction before so know better than to hide other people’s stuff. You are being too chilled out about this- how would you react if somebody else did this to ds? That alone should be incentive enough for him to not touch never mind hide other people’s things.

Completelyjo · 21/10/2024 20:11

I mean you really glaze over the fact that your son “hides” ie steals things from people and you act like it’s something totally out of anyone’s control.

sprigatito · 21/10/2024 20:11

Your husband's behaviour was appalling. Is that typical? I would not tolerate DH having temper tantrums around me or the children, and I don't think you should either.

Why does your 8yo hide people's belongings, and why do you say he "obviously" wouldn't be in trouble for it? If one of mine had deliberately taken and hidden something belonging to someone else, particularly an adult item like a vape, they would most certainly be in trouble.

I'm confused.

Azandme · 21/10/2024 20:10

BeADinosaur · 21/10/2024 20:06

Shouting and kicking things isn't great.

However if my kid kept hiding my phone, money and other things and refusing to say where it was I'd get pretty sick of it pretty quickly.

If your son didn't move it, he can't really complain that he is accused of it as his previous behaviour has led people to mistrust him. A form of 'the boy who cried wolf'.

This.

Your ds's behaviour isn't acceptable. Your approach hasn't worked, because he's still doing it.

The shouting isn't great, but to be honest, I can see why it happened.

What are your plans for actually sorting ds's behaviour out?

MiddleParking · 21/10/2024 20:10

I’d definitely shout at my kids if they hid stuff and so should you by the sounds of it.

Ivehearditbothways · 21/10/2024 20:09

This is a lesson for your kid. He is known as the one who steals and hides things, because he does. So now he’ll get the blame when it happens. Your husband could have handled it better but he has the right sentiment; your kid needs to take responsibility and admit what he has been doing. And bloody well stop it.

What are the consequences for him?

Sirzy · 21/10/2024 20:07

An 8 year old shouldn’t be hiding things.

your husbands reaction wasn’t great either but your child needs to understand you don’t hide other people’s things

BeADinosaur · 21/10/2024 20:06

Shouting and kicking things isn't great.

However if my kid kept hiding my phone, money and other things and refusing to say where it was I'd get pretty sick of it pretty quickly.

If your son didn't move it, he can't really complain that he is accused of it as his previous behaviour has led people to mistrust him. A form of 'the boy who cried wolf'.