How to make 8 yo learn to pee at break during school

Imposing punishments around toileting is not recommended. His "wee warning" system is likely a bit messed up now and he'll need your support not punishment to get back on track.

If a child starts to withhold, for any reason, the system of the brain giving wee warnings basically, starts to break down. It involves doing some bladder training to get him right again. Look up the Eric website for this.

Also get him checked by a GP as there can be a medical reason for the withholding/leaking in the first place.

The school should be able to support him with a toileting break.

To add lots of children of all ages don’t use toilets at school because they find them gross.

I agree. There isn't really a natural link between his action and this consequence, is there? They don't really match up or make sense to me.

Speak to the school, get them to remind him (them all) before break to go to the toilet and ask that he (them all) are given a 5min warning before the end of break time and directed to the toilet then.

As soon as he comes in from break time before he's sat in the classroom, have the teacher/TA ask him "did you go to the toilet?" and if not send him then.

I find your approach to this awful. I can almost see you sniffing when you see him to see if you get a smell and then checking his pants and creating a drama. The present thing isn’t nice either - presents should be treats, not bribes.

Maybe instead a trip to the GP to see if there’s an issue, Perhaps tell him that he’s in charge of laundering his own pants and if he continues to do this, then his friends and teachers will smell the wee.

Mine was allowed to use the toilet at any time. He actually had permission throughout the first few years to not ask but just get up and go as his constipation meant that sometimes when he needed to go he needed to go instantly and couldn't wait for the teacher to say yes.

Still meant he held on to his wee and ignored the signals then he'd be outside playing when he realised he needed to go and not want to leave the game so would end up having little accidents. Which sounds like OP's situation too.

Nothing to do with training or restricted access, just little boys not able to always make good decisions without a lot of reminding.

I'd check with urologist first, and secondly buy a wobble watch, it's a silent alarm watch you can set multiple times a day, make the school aware what it is and why. This worked for our lad.

I think it is a fucked up world that wants to train a child to wee at set times. I am grateful mine attend a school which recognises their human right to have access to a toilet when required.

Honestly I despair, thought the days of this crap was left back in the '80s. But hey keep going sure shame always works 🤦‍♀️.

@YourLastNerve if he's holding it in after lunchtime, then he's probably having to struggle really hard to concentrate in afternoon lessons. It's going to affect his concentration and his education (as well as possibly causing a UTI in the long run). I'd be more worried about this than the smell/lack of hygiene (although they are not desirable either!).

I'd be sitting down with him. Tell him he's in the juniors now and you really don't want to have to talk to the teacher about him going to the toilet, and that he needs to start doing it himself. He will have to plan ahead. Can he go before he eats lunch? Many schools send them then to wash their hands anyway so I'm surprised that isn't happening here. That way he shouldn't lose playtime?

Can he learn to go at the beginning of breaks rather than in the middle of playing? Could the teacher remind him to go on the way out?

Because it stays on the pants and trousers for hours. It doesn't take a lot of volume of urine to smell and it's not that easy to get rid of the smell without adding extra smelling stuff to the wash as well.

I totally get you OP, been there. Still happens occasionally and DS is also 8. He has got much better this last year but was the same, just didn't want to stop playing and happily admitted that.

You just have to keep reminding him, he will grow out of it eventually and explaining calmly to him that other people will notice and it might end up in him being teased is no bad thing. We did the same.

My son was the same. Turned out he needed to be circumcised and peeing was painful, hence him putting it off. He didn't realise quite how painful it was until after the operation when he was dumbfounded by the fact that weeing didn't hurt at all! He had never complained about it and obviously didn't know any different. Shame. Hope it isn't this, but maybe good to rule it out.

I work in a school.

We would tell him to go to the toilet before lunch, when they go to wash their hands. Most children do go then.

Yes, I’d make this point to him.

If school staff won’t make him go to the toilet before he goes out to play, the only thing you can do is hold the switch over his head and be firm.

You have my sympathies - I’m a mum of boys. In my experience it’s the sanctions that work. No end of careful explanations and discussions does the trick. It had to be ‘ do that again and you lose x’ with mine.

How is it so smelly then if its only little leaks

I'd speak to the teacher and ask if he can discreetly be aloud to go to the toilet between breaks then he won't feel as though he's missing out on play time as such. Once he's into the habit of this he might be prepared to go in breaks given time. My dd used to hold her urine all day at school and had accidents up until year 1. I involved the teacher so she could help us to get on top of things and between us we cracked it.

Getting a Switch sounds like it would have been a bad idea anyhow, as he'd do the same on your sofa.

I'd talk to the teacher. They can remind him to go. It might not be everyday as teachers are busy and human. They could also let him go in a lesson. I'm a teacher and would have no problem with this.

Please don't make this into a big thing you will give him a complex. Also do not make it into a shame thing. He will grow out of it.

I dont know to be honest OP, kids will sometimes give the easiest explanation

Has something happened in the loos, frightened him?

To have to sit around in wet pants and its surely the case that someone has mentioned it to him at school, kids see and say things. That is a powerful motivator so he needs a powerful reason not to go. Playing doesnt seem that strong

Is he like this at home?

Ask the school for their advice. Not peeing can cause problems so it's unhealthy for him to keep ignoring it. Maybe teachers can tell him to go?