How to make 8 yo learn to pee at break during school

Firstly I thankfully don't need to. But please don't let that stop you from shaming women who sadly are impacted daily from a hidden disability.

Professional organisation? Or a collection of ignorant mean girls ??

I have the same issue with my DD who is 6 during the day and she is getting assessed for autism and adhd. It seemsnto be a mix of not wanting to miss out socially, feeling anxious about asking, and not realising until its too late (poor interoception)... nothing has helped, sticker charts, alarms.

The only thing that the school now do which started to help was get her to go with a friend or adult. She has more days now without accidents but still has them.. paediatrician says it can take a while to stop happening but nothing we can do about it... just positive reinforcement

Have him help wash his clothes every day when he gets home as well as a shower.

Less time to play at home might be a natural consequence that works.

The problem is that one withholding starts - even if it starts as behavioural - it soon becomes a physical issue where the early warning system of a full bladder breaks down. It can require bladder training to overcome. It's very unlikely that shaming or even natural consequences will help him.

I would urge OP to go to the GP first, to rule out an underlying medical concern - smelly wee is a concern anyway. And then consult Eric.org.uk to get a full understanding of this issue and how to overcome it.

And I really hope posters with some of the more shaming suggestions, like threatening to put him in nappies, don't have kids of their own.

I have told the tale before of a pupil who was asked to make up the time he missed visiting the loo almost immediately after break (admittedly stopping on the way back for a solo stint on the climbing frame, unfortunately for him visible from the teacher's desk on the first floor).
It wasn't my own form, so I had erred on the side of caution, not wanting an unfortunate mishap, but when I realised he was (literally) taking the piss, I asked him to remain when his fellow pupils left for lunch, on the grounds that he had chosen to take some of his playtime early, while they were working, to complete the tasks set at a more conventional time.
I took care to ensure that there was still time for him to go down to the dining hall with the second sitting; missing lunch would have been far too harsh a consequence.
However, he was next found in the school office, asking to use the school phone (permitted if a good reason was given) whereupon he stated his intention to call Childline.
On the plus side, he clearly had no notion of genuine infringements on his human rights, for which organisations like Childline are sadly necessary, but it had to be explained to him that this was not such an occasion.

Speak to his teacher and ask her/him to send him to the toilet during lesson transitions or tidy up time before break and lunch.

Can you tell him he needs to go first thing at breaks so it will be a habit? Tell him you will have to ask his teacher for help to remind him otherwise..

Now this is a great suggestion.
'hang on love, before you put the tv you'll need a quick shower as your pants were wet today' that's a really, really good natural consequence!

It's hard to change a behaviour when your not around at school. For example when mine got older and didn't wee as they didn't want to stop staying I would make sure they were more inconvenienced by having to soak their clothes, put them in the wash and get changed so that they learnt it was quicker to just wee.

Would it be possible to when we gets home from school make him do the washing, and I'm guessing he'll need a shower if he's been sat in them for hours to make him realise that he's missing out more by not taking 30secs to wee? Not in a shaming him making a big deal of it but in a natural consequences, you did this, you need to sort it.

Sorry but id wager your colleagues think you take the piss, heading back in from a 1hr lunch break, logging back in, joining a call... Then going to the loo 😂😂😂
There's no way in hell you do this, on the regular.
Ive worked in public sector and the loos were always at their busiest a few mins before the hour when people nipped in before their next meeting!
Next you'll be saying you also excuse yourself 15 mins into a meeting to go and make a drink 😂

I think sometimes they find it difficult to think ahead. So at break time he might not actually need the loo but he needs to learn that he will need it at some point. My ds was like this with all manner of things. So we'd go food shopping for example and I'd say what would you like to choose? Then he'd say nothing I'm not hungry and I'd have to remind him that he will be later. They kind of need to be taught to pre empt their own needs.

I don’t think that at all. I just think repeatedly gojbg out to the toilet at 11:15 when you had a break at 11 is taking the piss for anyone, child or adult.

Yes because I work with grown adults who don't judge due to being through a fucked up education system which equates normal human behaviour as being "disrespectful".

In your scenario then women who are likely to suffer from urinary control in later life would be discriminated unfairly! But hey ho.

Seriously, if you equate professional behaviour with normal human behaviour I really think a serious reflection is required.

Thankfully I have always worked with intelligent reasonable humans and educated as one.

There is literally an adult, who obviously sees access to a toilet as a nice to have as opposed to s Human right. Who is using shame as a patenting technique, yep not seeing that as a great idea.

I don’t think anyone would judge an occasional pop out but honestly - you’re saying someone would repeatedly go to the toilet just after a comfort break or lunch and it wouldn’t be seen as a bit unprofessional? As I’m not totally sure I buy that!

Just like children, no one minds the odd need to go in lessons but when the same children are always asking to go it is surprising just how disruptive it can be. It also has a trigger action on the class as a whole so the lesson turns into a constantly revolving door with kids in and out and in and out.

Then if mum has already raised concerns with the teacher and teaching assistant (multiple times I think you said earlier, or did I misread that?) then it sounds like there are bigger issues around communicating here. Try someone else - phase leader, senco, deputy head...

(my son is dyspraxic.. his brother, who isn't, has the bladder of an elephant and holds it all day until he gets home and sprints to the loo - which is a whole other issue TBH)

My son used to do this too. All it took was a teacher to specifically remind him at the beginning of break and the end of school for a couple of weeks and he got in the habit and it's not been an issue since.

I know that some teachers would baulk at it, but it's really a tiny ask, and it's not for long - just enough to instill the habit. (like my mum did so well that I can't actually leave the house without going and doing a wee 'just to check' even in my 40s!)

Two of my primary school aged grandchildren will not use school toilets - not because they're too busy playing but because they say that they're filthy and other children mess around because they're unsupervised. E.g, hand soap all over the floor and walls and wash basins, taps left running, toilet paper in the wash basins, dirty toilet paper in the cubicles, wet toilet seats wet floors, unflushed toilets, even more unmentionable things 🤢

My grandson would complain that boys wee on each other in the nursery class toilets because staff couldn't see them - apparently they think it's hilarious.

When we've mentioned this to school they say that children are routinely reminded every break time to use the toilets and that they don't have the staff to supervise the children.

So there's no answer really. Whenever we explain that they'll feel bad (dehydrated) if they don't drink, it doesn't make a difference.

The staff simply say it's up to the child to make sure that they 'go'.

My grandchildren dash to the loos as soon as we get home - no accidents though.

Their water bottles are always never touched. They know that if they have a drink they may have to use the school facilities.

Been tried. No result. 😔

You ask a Teaching Assistant, best bet!

Well I work in public sector third level education and we respect humans as being, human. That's what happens when you work with intelligent people.

They don't judge humans for being, eh humans.

And somewhere along the way kids need to bridge the gap and start making those sensible choices about when to go the loo. Many secondary schools won't let kids go during a lesson without some sort of medical condition.
Think the OP us looking to find ways to encourage her child to make some better choices?
God its no wonder there are problems in school when people act like its practically abusive to suggest a child in juniors could go to the loo without leaving it right to the last second.

Gosh you'd be seen as unprofessional where i work, why on earth wouldn't you pop to the loo between meetings.

And we have the knowledge that 8 isn't an adult! And if I need the toilet during the meeting I get up and go, why wouldn't I?

Honestly sometimes I wonder.

Gosh its obvious you've never been in a primary school lessom as an adult. 30 kids, imagine if all of them went to the loo once during the morning session between 9 and 12, during taught time (eg not assembly - or do you want them to disturb everybody climbing over all the kids halfway through that?) or break. There would be a child asking to go approximately every 5 minutes!