Is DD weird?

I hate showers and never have one, only use the shower to wash my hair when I'm either in the bath, or leaning over the bath.

I have baths maybe two or three times a week.

I don't work due to health issues, and rarely go out, and when I do it's only to the supermarket.

Just DD and me here.

I wouldn't admit to being an avid cleaner of my house as I think it reflects badly on me, like I'd rather get a duster out than read a book. A shower is a pleasant thing to me unlike cleaning a house or laundry!

If she is that upset, why doesn't she shower daily? It's what most people do IME.

What post proves it? hyper sensitivity comes to mind. I don't think someone is inferior for not having a daily shower, as an adult it is a preference, a choice I'm making, I don't care what choices other people make with regard to showering and I'm sure many people don't smell if they don't shower.

It's the same among women. No-one spends ages cleaning their houses and no-one enjoys it! But if you don't at least pretend you're cleaning super frequently, women will shame you. Just one of those things. It isn't a hill I'd want to die on x

Dd 13 has a shower every day and yes I think it's weird not to

I think adults and teenagers should shower or bathe once a day. It's different for babies and very young children (unless they get dirty).

It's socially expected that people shower once a day, particularly among girls op. Shes not weird but id be encouraging her to shower daily, or at least say so x

Making someone feel like they're inferior to you because they don't have a daily shower, is competitive cleanliness. That poster is right, is happens all the time on this platform and your post proves it tbh

Friends don't sound very kind, but for the love of God buy your poor DD a fifth school shirt.

Having a daily shower is hardly competitive cleanliness, it is what it is, a daily shower.

Does she follow these hygiene practices by choice or is this what you have prescribed for her? Is the school refusal a way to try and "force" you to buy her the 5th shirt and let her shower daily?

I don’t think it’s just girls this age - MN is rife with competitive cleanliness threads. Some girls don’t grow out of this.

Sorry for your DD, OP. It’s hard teaching them when’s the time to stand up for themselves and say I’m fine as I am thanks, and the time to just pretend they are the same for an easy life.

She has a choice. She can start showering every day if that's what she wants to do. Or. She can tell the girls that she has started showering every day to shut the girls up and save face. Personally, just to be on the safe side, I think she should start having a shower every school day just to make sure she's not a bit pongy.

Teen girls can get really obsessed with hygiene practices- and they are also often anxious to fit in and not be different in any way.

When I was a similar age, a friend told me I was weird for not cleaning my ears out with cotton buds on a regular basis. (It had never occurred to me to do so as I’d never heard of it and no one in my house did it). I feel like I got the last laugh on that one now that we are urged not to poke cotton buds in our ears!

Simple answer OP, get her to shower daily and buy a 5th shirt for Friday. I can't imagine a world where an angst ridden teen missing school is the better option. Is there is reason why one or both of these can't happen?

They are mean girls for calling her weird. However, I do think you maybe need to consider her hygiene routine. You don't have to get sweaty to smell and re wearing a shirt thats been worn all day is likely to smell .Thats plus having non showering days might mean someone has noticed a smell. That’s no excuse for being unkind, but teenagers can be like that. You may be used to her smell too.

She’s not weird but I’d makes sure she has a fresh shirt every day.

Yes..also this

I'm a 90s girl. This conversation could and would have happened at my school. This is just petty oh-im-so-clean compared to you. They're only teens, they like to one up their peers

She's not weird, but why does she need to tell them she only showers 3 times a week?
If they were all saying they shower every day, then common sense would tell her to keep quiet or lie.
It's normal for teens to say things that are different to the norm are weird.

How often has this actually come up? Is your daughter being called the dirty weirdo, or was it one conversation where the kids said "that's so weird, it's dirty not to shower every day" and then they moved on? I'm struggling to understand why the solution is to not go to school rather than just shower every day

I would add though, not nice to say she is 'weird' , I have a teen DD though so I have heard about girls saying worse things than that. My DD has very thin legs and is skinny, her 'friend' makes comments all the time that are far from flattering!

And add in the reluctance to go to school. I wonder if there is more than meets the eye here and what is needed is not a discussion on hygiene and how people, apparently, stank in the 70s.

I was at secondary school in the 90s and if P e was the last lesson you didn't have to shower, most of us didn't because of the high embarrassment factor but on the way home kids smelt, then throw in cigarette smoke, not me but some of my friends and it was gross.

I think wearing an unwashed shirt to school is unusual - is there any reason why one can’t be washed, or another one purchased?

Re the showering, it doesn’t seem that odd to me. I’d think just starting to shower every day would be better than skipping school - or if she really can’t, she could just have a stand up wash on the other days and say “oh yes I do shower every day” - not like they’ll be watching.