Is DD weird?

I shower every day bc I feel dirty if I don't but it isn't good for my skin.

She is doing the right thing.

I think showering at least once a day without fail is just fine.

My dcs have always had a shower whenever they felt like it.

Assuming school refusal because she wants an extra shower but doesn't feel she's allowed to have one is particularly mumsnet convoluted logic.

This just isn't true. Lots of people don't stink. Dirty clothes are more likely to make people pong.

I definitely don't wash jeans every use and hoodies etc but tops that touch the armpits pretty much get thrown in the wash on a daily basis if we have been out. My teens walk loads though so I would say that's pretty physical.

I know someone who puts their jeans on the freezer as apparently has the same impact.

Or just actually have a shower? People who don't shower regularly and think they don't smell are just surrounded by people too kind to say anything. It's gross to just keep topping up with deodorant and not wash. Babies and toddlers have delicate skin, but teens are raging with hormones and smell if they don't wash. I personally enjoy a shower at the end of the day. I like to wash off the day.

Just tell her her to tell them that she showers every day.

I shower every second day unless there's a real reason to shower more frequently. Why waste water, power etc? I sit down most of the day, so its not like I'm in a physical job.
I also hang trousers / jeans up, and wear them 3-4 days, wash shirts, bras and tshirts every 2-3 wears. Change knickers and tights daily.

I started doing this 4-5 years ago, thinking about saving water and power. I don't think I smell!

Well maybe she would, but as mum's response has been to come here and have people tell her it's all good, rather than saying shower more frequently if you want to, maybe not.

Fare not fair

Why wouldn't the dd just have a shower every day if she wanted?

About 30 years ago my friends and I told a classmate that she smelt. She really did smell, it was very strong. People talked about her behind her back and laughed at her. It took us a really long time to build the courage to tell her. We probably didn’t do it very well, but we really did mean well.

What are her friends like? Are they otherwise kind and well meaning? What was the context?

I should as add, my DH is more likely to be a competitive cleaner as he is an Architect and appreciates a clean, minimalist aesthetic and notices these things!

Exactly what I was going to say.

Her friends might not have said anything but DD might want to shower more often.

I don't know who she is as in, I have heard of her name but that's it and I don't use Instagram and tiktok. I don't think I'd fair well with the tips as I have a tendency to over focus.

I strongly suspect DD's school refusal is an attempt to get her mum to allow her to shower and have a clean shirt more frequently, and the friends might not actually have been that awful.

Mine showers once a day and I know that if kids let on that they don't shower every day, the others will call them scruffy etc. I'm in my 30s and it was the same when I was in school it's not a new thint

My dh doesn't smell of bo ever. He just doesn't smell. Nor does dc3. Some people don't.

Those who shower daily. Imagine bow you would feel if we all said 'urgh you must be really smelly and sweaty to need shower daily, do you have a sweat issue?'
It wouldnt feel very nice would it? Because its not disgusting, its just that everyone sweats differently and has differing body odour and has a personal preference for their shower frequency.

Your way isnt the only right way.

Are your DD’s friends from different cultural backgrounds to her?

We're living in the age of Instagram and tiktok and Mrs hinch! If your home isn't spotless and youre not seen to be cleaning frequently, lots of women will judge unfortunately

Edited to add that I do like Mrs hinch and buy her branded products 🤭

I don't shower daily, never have. I've never thought I smelled and tbh if anyone gets close enough to stick their nose in my armpit then it's quite normal if you can smell body! I shower every other day, unless I'm having lots of sex in which case it's every day 😁

Please don't teach your own kids this attitude or they'll be the bullies berating kids who don't need to shower daily. I have never needed to and nor did my friends, every other day is perfectly normal for lots of people.
Excessive showing can upset the skins natural biome and cause dry skin, lots of people do not need to shower daily and if fact are advised specifically not to.

It's a society thing though - it has been decided by the queen bees that women should shower every day even though it's not actually necessary - the nhs says it's ok but not necessary for most people to shower daily if they prefer - sone people should def not shower every day

Given how much water resource the average Brit uses, ecologically it's a bad idea to shower every day

And yes too many people are judgemental about it - ignoring the facts that it's biologically unnecessary, ecologically unsound

Changing society is hard though - but it does happen slowly - after all 60 years ago a weekly bath was the societal norm

Teen DS showers twice a week and wears the same school clothes for 3 days, not underwear obviously).

I’m certainly not going to be providing a clean shirt for him every day.

Have those silly girls no conscience at all about the environment? 🙄