Public proposals

YANBU - I often wonder if the person proposed to says yes because of the pressure of everyone watching.

Actually I've just remembered a news story from around the mid to late 80s.

A young couple had seen another couple get engaged in a restaurant and customers had clapped, some sent drinks to the happy couple and the manager came out and gave them free Champagne etc and they decided to have a fake proposal when they ate out until they got rumbled by someone who had seen them previously get engaged before at another restaurant!

Other restaurants in the area were quizzed and they remembered the couple!

I believe it was in the Evening echo for the Southend on Sea area.

I find the whole notion of a proposal archaic and weird. I don't fathom why it wouldn't be a joint discussion rather than a man "choosing" to deign a woman with his attention. But people can do what they want.

The worst was when a Chinese Olympic competitor won the gold, and rather than be able to enjoy the moment, her bf proposed to her in front of billions around the world. Actually, I think there have been a couple of such proposals at different Olympic Games - men stealing the limelight from their more successful female partners just at the point of their victory, the culmination of all their hard work, or the ultimate romantic gesture? I know which camp I'm in.

I was in Pizza Express many moons ago and the chap at the table next to me was trying to propose, while his poor girlfriend did everything she could to distract him/break the moment. It was so painfully cringy. I don't know what the outcome of that one was!

They make me cringe. I always wonder what happens if some girl gets proposed to by a guy she isn't thinking of marrying, does she say yes as she doesn't want to embarrass him by refusing.

Just don't do it - nobody else is interested in your proporsal - keep it to yourselves.

Couldn't care less. It's the couple's business.

Mine was public and a spectacle by design. . We had never discussed marriage just future stuff. I had no idea it was coming.

Don’t worry though I don’t care if people like you thought it was cringy… it’s just the kind of guy my DH is and it was sweet.

He also once colluded with a security guard at an office I was traveling to over Valentines Day to deliver a 5 foot stuffed bear as a surprise. I know that is the epitome of cringe 🤷‍♀️

Some are fake but there are a lot of proposal fails on YouTube that are very cringeworthy!

I've witnessed a couple, its amazing

In the middle of a parkrun briefing? Urgh. Yeah sweaty running people clad in lycra doesn’t really make a romantic setting imo.

Even worse is sharing an office with someone who has been with a partner for years, they have a house and children together and she’s waiting for a “surprise” proposal.

I thought that was awful. Taking the attention away from his girlfriend and all the others who were graduating that day and making it all about him. I always imagine at these public proposals the proposee saying ' yes' just to get out of the situation then at home saying no. But then the way I would know that someone didn't really know me at all is if they publicly humiliated me by proposing in public!

I'd love to see that

I was horrified by that graduation proposal, found it really controlling and creepy, in fact all public proposals are a form of control, how can you say no?

I think it depends on the people and the context of the proposal.

Taking your partner somewhere public and proposing is fine, e.g. at dinner, or at special/meaningful place or whatever - no problem with that - so basically a private proposal that is in a public place.

I think it's cute and I'm happy for people when I see them propose etc. I always think 'aww' or 'good for them'. Will clap if in a restaurant etc maybe say congratulations afterwards. Have never seen one go bad but don't want to ruin somebody else's special moment.

I am not into big public gestures myself so would never want that kind of attention but I can see the appeal for some people. It's only a few minutes and that memory will be with them forever, seems a shame to shit on it just because it's not about you.

I think this is the most manipulative example of this, when Jack White proposed on stage then sprung a wedding on his fiancee of 5 minutes:

Jack White Proposed to and Married Olivia Jean Onstage at Detroit Concert | Pitchfork

A woman at work got engaged at the top of the Eiffel Tower which she claimed was spontaneous but the whole thing couldn’t have been more scripted if it was an episode of Eastenders

It makes me absolutely cringe. Its so ‘look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ and is pretty much forcing the other persons to say yes

I’ve seen some online that are at such inappropriate occasions like midway through a graduation ceremony or at someone else’s wedding

Attention seeking narcissistic drama lovers

Think some people are hopeless romantics and maybe confuse spontaneity with something more grounded like - er - love. Sudden noise and movement is never going to sit well with me....

A former colleague was proposed to in a restaurant very publicly - she desperately tried to indicate for him to stop but he kept going, she said yes because everyone was looking on (neighbouring tables applauded and the restaurant gave them a free drink), but later that evening she retracted, explained how mortified she was and they broke up not long after. She said that she hadn’t considered they were anywhere near talking marriage - they’d only been together a few months - but his friend (or possibly brother) had had a big public proposal and it had made the local papers and he was clearly inspired by that…

One of my friends said no, or rather not yet. She was young, about 20 and her boyfriend prepared this whole scavenger hunt type thing at her birthday party in front of loads of people with her realising part way with dread where it was headed.

Yes, that's what it says to me -- that I'm not sure you'd say yes if I asked you without the social pressure of it happening in public and it being easier for you to make some 'overcome but thrilled' face of girlish glee than say 'Seriously, Jonathan? What's with the fanfare when people are trying to start their Parkrun?'

I recall there being one mentioned on here when it was during the woman's graduation ceremony. That was very public, can't say no situation, highly inappropriate and taking all the focus from the woman's achievements. It's just completely selfish and look at me behavior