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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should we stop DC seeings in laws?

107 replies

wishuponamoon21 · 21/10/2024 13:20

Long story but to make it as short as possible

DH one of 2 children, both have 1 DC each, so there is our DN and our DC as the 2 grandchildren. 1 year apart, the same sex.

Our DC has had one visit since they were born 6 months ago for 4 hours. We live 100 miles away from them.

Our DN gets 6x weeks spent with him 3-4 times a year. They live 10k miles away from them. As I said, 1 year older than ours.

In laws never ask after our child from one month to the next.

All of a sudden they have asked to see our DC in December - as they are coming back this way to see their friends. Feels a bit like a tick box exercise and considering the little effort, time and energy they give to our DC over their other DGC. I feel like saying no. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
wishuponamoon21 · 21/10/2024 13:27

Bbbhhhvfbxb · 21/10/2024 13:23

Are they otherwise okay with you and DC? If so I would say yes. My in-laws and live at home middle-aged SIL are a nightmare (SIL malicious and tries to stir up GC) so we keep it very minimal.

They hate me since we got married but were super nice to me for the first 8 years of our relationship. They are also upset that our child looks like me!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 21/10/2024 13:27

When you say “ask after” this suggests that you have a reactive rather than proactive relationship with them. Surely DH has his parents’ phone numbers and calls them, sends photos and updates regularly etc so they hear about DS that way? If he doesn’t bother doing any of that then does that not indicate why they’re showing indifference?

JustTalkToThem · 21/10/2024 13:26

Mad that they don’t see DC, now mad that they want to (just not the exact way you want them to)? You sound like hard work.

Let the kiddo see their GP!

Original poster
wishuponamoon21 · 21/10/2024 13:26

Hoppinggreen · 21/10/2024 13:23

Are they horrible people or is it just that you feel they don't make enough effort?
If its the latter then I see no harm in letteing them call in for a bit

No they are also complete dicks as well. I'm NC with them. But I think the lack of effort is what bothers me personally, if I thought they cared for /were interested in DC I would be more than happy for DH to take them to meet them. They wouldn't ever come to our house.

OP posts:
MrsDoylesDoily · 21/10/2024 13:25

How many times have you/your husband taken your DC to visit them?

Bbbhhhvfbxb · 21/10/2024 13:23

Are they otherwise okay with you and DC? If so I would say yes. My in-laws and live at home middle-aged SIL are a nightmare (SIL malicious and tries to stir up GC) so we keep it very minimal.

Hoppinggreen · 21/10/2024 13:23

Are they horrible people or is it just that you feel they don't make enough effort?
If its the latter then I see no harm in letteing them call in for a bit