Should we stop DC seeings in laws?

They do sound truly vile. I would cut contact completely. I can't see any benefit to you or your DC if you let your PILs see your baby.

I get your point. However, at the end of the day, they are child's GPs and likely LT friction if they don't see

I wouldn't bother seeing them in that case. They don't like you and they speak to your DH without asking about the baby.

What does DH think about his parents' attitude to his child?

But you don’t want to have contact with them. It’s very difficult to show an interest in a baby if the mother doesn’t contact you to invite you to.

They’re presumably not dicks to their own dd.

So SIL is in Austrailia or NZ and they spent half of last year there?

I don't get it.

You say they're dicks so why would you want to spend 18 solid weeks with them? The 4 hours once a year sounds much better!

Really?

A child who rarely sees their grandparents because they're not bothered?

Don't see what's to be gained

I understand you have your reasons for not seeing them but it does sound like they can't win. You are unhappy that they don't make the effort to see your DC, but now they are trying to you don't want them to.

It is also not surprising they see less of your DC as you and them don't get on.

I et your point OP but nothing is to be gained by your child not seeing them

If you stopped them seeing your dc I don't think they'd notice 😂
But in all seriousness I wouldn't get involved I'd leave it to your husband to decide how much he wants to see his parents and wouldn't let their relationship with your sibling in law impact any decision making

If they are so horrible why would you want them to have close contact with your child? What makes you think they would be nice to them?

I am not sure you have read the complete thread where OP has outlined what they have done/said. But, at the same time, I don't get why OP would have anything to do with them after all that. It makes no sense.

As a non relevant question - I'm really intrigued how they could RUIN your honeymoon?
I'd have to assume they came with you and didn't give you a moment of privacy - how else could anyone literally RUIN a honeymoon?
We spoke to my parents in law maybe twice during our month long honeymoon. 1 - to say we've arrived safely at our destination and 2- to report at what time we'll be back at the airport, since they were picking us up.

So that's it really. Your husband doesn't want to see them and neither do you. Is it guilt you are feeling?

Honestly, it sounds like they are a bit cautious.
You are clearly not happy with them. I would be wary of imposing myself on a DIL that very obviously disliked me.
I'm not saying your reasons for going NC or disliking the isn't valid. Just that the probably see their other GC more because the mother actively welcomes and encourages it.

Also, I would just think about explaining this to your son later.
"Why does my grandparents never come to visit me?"
We don't have a relationship, they're rude BLA BLA BLA all the reasons.
" So they never wanted to see me?"
Well they did ask to come around when you were 6 months old, but we decided that since their effort upto that point wasn't good enough, we decided they weren't allowed to"

I'd be honest, I wouldn't understand if I were the kid.
Kids are richer for the more people tin their life, not poorer.

Nonsense

They appear to have behaved abominably.

The OP owes them nothing

^^This

I think this post gives us the answer why they don’t put in much effort. You’re NC and you’re the child’s mother. That makes it unbearably uncomfortable for them. As the saying goes, “a daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he takes a wife”
And unfortunately for them, their sons wife hates them, Which makes a relationship with their grandchild much more difficult. If it was their daughter’s husband who hates them, it’d be different. But it’s not. And you have far more say over the child than your DH does.
Obviously we don’t know the ins and outs of your feelings of hatred towards them, but unless they murdered one of your family then you need to get over your feelings and put your DC and DH first. Sounds like it’s your opinions getting in the way of them all having a good relationship.
In the grand scheme of things, your opinions of them aren’t really relevant, doesn’t stop them being brilliant grandparents. Be the bigger person, make the first move in repairing the relationship for your DC and DHs sake

@wishuponamoon21 I just would not bother. What does your husband want to do?

They live 10,000 miles away from the other sibling ie London to Australia but have spent 18/24 weeks with them on 3/4 trips?? Really??

I'm not sure I understand. You're upset they don't bother with your child or arrange to see them but now they are doing exactly that and you're upset about it. I would host the visit, see how it goes and base the likelihood of future visits on whether it id successful or not. I'd try to take a very positive attitude into the interaction so I knew for sure that if it didn't go well or they didn't arrange any future visits it wasn't because I'd created a problem/ atmosphere. This way I can live with and move on peacefully.

What solution do you propose?

It doesn't matter when you went NC, the fact is you're NC now.

Perhaps your husband can suggest they meet somewhere nearby, and he can take the baby to see them after a feed?

Your H just needs to decide if he wants to meet them or not, and if he does whether to take DS or not, then let them know what he's decided. There's no need for all this drama and over analysing surely? You don't like them, they don't like you, and they're not being any bother to you, so can't you just get on with your life as normal and let a couple of hours meet up that won't involve you happen or not, without inflating it into a big deal?