Friend in trouble, police at my door.

To be fair, I wouldn't be friends with someone who made threats of violence and death to a 10 year old so I expect that consideration is out of the window for OP anyway.

@Playgroundincident This sounds awful for you. You must feel very stuck in the middle. You've had some great advice here so I won't add to it. Hopefully when people calm down they'll understand you did what you could in the circumstances and some of them will already understand that. There are always a few idiots who want to stir everyone else up - perhaps in this instance their friends of racist child's parents.

This is why people don't intervene any more. The ignorant keyboard warriors on a school WhatsApp group, the mother who's gone nuclear because of other issues in her life.

Why wouldn't they? I've taken loads of witness statements in my day. If a crime is committed the first step is to take witness statements. The op is obviously one of the key witnesses, I imagine they will also try and take statements from the dad that intervened, the child and any other parents who witnessed the whole thing.

Whoever reported it clearly knows who op is so how else would they get her statement than coming to her house? Its good practice to take a statement as soon as possible after the incident. And while OP could have refused most people have a civic responsibility to assist if they can which should override her responsibility to her friend. As long as she was truthful she isn't getting her friend in trouble, her friends own actions have already done that. It took place in the playground, there were enough witnesses that even if OP had refused the actual facts of what happened wouldn't be disputed, if anything op has helped her friend out by backing up the mitigating circumstances, which is the one thing none of the other witnesses will be able to provide.

I don't think anyone thinks the mum was in the right, but I think she can be cut a little slack.

I would be wild with rage if my child was getting bullied.
Add on to that everything else that's been going on and I'm sure her mental health isn't the best, and she's emotionally wound so tight that she's just snapped.

The op has said that this is completely out of character, so I'm sure her friend will be beside herself when the reality of her actions hits her.

Does she think making a statement confirming her friends behaviour was going to help her friend?

@FrequentNameChanger2024 yes I think her giving a balanced and accurate account to the police about what happened may well help her friend. Can you imagine what the child, and the child’s parent would have said? Plus there are likely to be quite a few other people who witnessed the incident so it’s hardly like the OP can assume that if she doesn’t give a statement the whole incident will be forgotten about.

Plus if you refuse to answer questions you could end up with a summons to attend court which won’t look good for the OP or her friend.

I guess she also doesn't need to be friends with someone who not only put her in that situation in the first place but does something so stupid then falsely accuses her of reporting to the police when common sense will tell you that doing something like that on school grounds will result in the school calling the police.

Adios "friend"

Exactly...What's the point?
It just creates more ''drama''.

Exactly as @oakleaffy has put.
Your description of She flew at him shouting all sorts of profanities, told him she was going to hit him, fucking kill him. is frightening enough to me as an adult never mind a child. And that's your description of it as her friend, I wonder how bad it actually was.

During this meeting you can also make school aware and corroborate your friend's story of the extent of what's been happening.

How can she do that?

MAYBE threats to kill a ten year old are too far? Just maybe?
I haven't seen anyone say the mum isn't justified in being upset and even furious at the bullying child and of course the school should have done what they said but there is no justifying an adult attacking a child nor blaming the person who has been trying to help you.

Lots of children are bullied for lots of reasons, bullying is despicable and can have a life long effect on victims but there's a reason we don't just set parents on kids. Apart from anything else what is that teaching her child -x isn't allowed to take out his feelings on you but it's fine for me to take out my feelings on x?

She sounds like a loose cannon.
Threatening to kill a child, and needing calming down so she is ''safe to drive'' sounds like you should disassociate fast.

The fact she flies to violence makes me wonder if she physically punishes her child as well?

Too hot headed and volatile if the school felt it necessary to call the police?

Cool off and step right back from her.

Keep your own counsel.

I would make police aware of the threats to you by racist child's mum.

I would make school aware of the extent of the gossip and that you want an extra eye on your child as your seem to have been drawn into it.

During this meeting you can also make school aware and corroborate your friend's story of the extent of what's been happening.

Can we just clarify. OP didn’t threaten to kill a child. Her friend did.

Why on earth should she have any part of the blame ? Another parent simply stepped in before OP did. That doesn’t make any of this her fault any more than any of the other bystanders who didn’t step in before the parent who did.

she would no longer be my friend

”But she could and should of said no to the police in my eyes”

but you shouldnt be making posts about it @Playgroundincident

Because school reported to police and they were clearly told she was involved with the altercation.

So they came to see what she has to say - what she witnessed and what she says she was doing.

in that case take the post down @Playgroundincident

OP just to say what an awful situation and I'm sorry you're getting judgy comments on here too from people who think you should be able to see the future or determine another adult's behaviour. I've seen situations like this before, where someone who is peripheral to the real problem becomes the scapegoat in a difficult situation.

Although it's tempting to just tell everyone that you're not the problem here and go silent, I think you'll be better off, since this situation is going to take some time to play out, to correct all the misstatements of fact. Tell your friend that no you didn't report her to the police and why would she think that, as her behaviour was public enough; tell the whatsapp group that you did what you could to defuse situation and could not have acted more quickly, tell the mother of the abusive boy that she needs to deal with her son's behaviour instead of randomly blaming you, tell the school that you don't condone your friend's actions but want to support her because you see the bigger picture. Tell the police what they want to know.

Ugh, it's a pain having to do so much justifying when you've done nothing wrong. Try to look after yourself, treat yourself, make sure you step away if you need to. This could become quite a drain on your energy. But kudos to you for trying to be decent and fair-minded here. I hope all the chatter stops.

She was a witness FFS.

but why did the police come to op's door?

Leave her to it. She lost any sympathy I had when she thought hurling profanities and threatening to kill a child was a reasonable response, rather than speaking to the child's parents.