Friend in trouble, police at my door.

I assume that you are white and don't know what is like to be on the receiving end of racism?

No, the prosecutor will not have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that OP's friend intended to actually kill the child. That is not what is required for the offence. The prosecutor will have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that OP's friend intended the child to fear that she might kill him, which is very different. There is no requirement for OP to actually intend to carry out her threat, merely for the child to think she might.

It is not "extremely challenging" to get a threat to kill charge to stick. There are thousands of such convictions every year.

I am not saying that OP's friend will be prosecuted. That is up to the police and the CPS. But you are repeatedly mis-stating the law.

I think you've handled this terrible situation as well as you possibly could, OP.

Given your job, I wouldn't send any texts to the school WhatsApp group or any more to your friend on this subject. Some people will misuse comments for their own ends. You've made your statement to the police, leave it there.

The mum did the right thing in my opinion. Hopefully it would’ve given the racist bullying little shit a shock and he’ll think twice before doing it again.

I can’t believe anyone would stick up for a grown adult charging at a child lining up to go into school and screaming and shouting at them and threatening to kill them.

Mum will hopefully now be banned from school premises. If the school where not dealing with bullying you move it higher up the chain and report to the police as well you don’t tell a 10 year old your going to kill them! Smh

Had one of these types of parents at our school recently kicking over an issue (not bullying or racism) it put the whole school in lock down. Parent is banned from premises and the child’s now a social outcast. Nobody wants to go near the child.

So if the police ask for witnesses of the racial abuse the dd has been getting- no one should say anything?

That's not correct. Lots of people work in roles where they are part of the child protection mechanism. The OP has stated they have a role with a 'statutory obligation' to assist police/SS etc.

I wouldn’t want to get that involved tbh. No one is obliged to give information to the police (other than professionals in specific cases of child sex abuse).

Most schools are all over this kind of behaviour now. I am so sad this was allowed to happen to her.

That is a terrible indictment tbh. I am so sorry the child was subjected to this treatment.

I'd be writing in the group that I don"t condone friends reaction, nor do I condone the bullying and racism of the boy and his parents failure to manage his behaviour. There's wrong on both sides but I have no part in that so please don't involve me in it any further.

Honestly your friend was wrong but the rest of the parents sound awful too. I also doubt a 10 year old would be displaying racism unless they had learned that at home. All the racist adults will be loving this drama and being able to paint your friend as the angry black woman.

Op, I hope this thread has helped you make some sense of what has happened.

Be the adult even when some of the other parents are not displaying maturity. Posting on a WA is juvenile behaviour. The school and police will take care of the matter, and it’s really no one else’s business. I would not get drawn in to any of it.

I imagine your friend is beside herself and I hope she has RL support for herself and her child. Her outburst was not acceptable or excusable, but it is understandable.

Are you in the U.K.?

Maybe moving schools would be best anyway, as the child at the centre of this deserves to be educated without racial abuse every day.

You are not responsible for her ,or anything she does .
That's what I'd be putting on the group chat .
Gosh though,your getting it from both ends
I'm sorry your in this situation

It is extremely challenging to get a threats to kill charge to stick even with cases that are absolutely threatening, include a degree of planning etc and when violence and previous threats have already happened. Even with serious DV cases this offence is rare. It is extremely unlikely to go anywhere, because the prosecutor will have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that ops friend intended to actually kill the child. There is no suggestion of that.

Completely agree with this. I’d have done exactly the same as you OP and I really feel for you. I’d have to correct the WhatsApp and your friend because I think other parents are concluding that you are in some way involved or condoning your friends behaviour (completely unfairly) and because it was so out of line I’d want to make my own position clear.

As others have suggested I’d put a message on the WhatsApp to say you were as shocked as anyone to see x’s behaviour in the playground this morning and as soon as you realised what was happening you went over and got her away and off the premises, you’re aware it’s been reported to the police and you’ve made a statement so it’s probably best that they and the school deal from now on. If threats are being made against you screenshot and report to the police and school and then mute.

I feel very sorry for your friend but there is no possible way that screaming swearing and threatening to hit and kill a 10 year old in a primary school playground is in any way justifiable. I know she’s under huge stress but I think if I was you I would consider distancing myself especially as she’s accused you of reporting to the police and seems to think you should have stood up for her in the playground, maybe she’ll rethink that once she has calmed down. She owes you a huge apology. I’d probably send a fairly terse message saying I didn’t report to the police but they have asked me for a statement which I have provided, suggest maybe you can talk when things have calmed down but you stand by what you said to her in the car.

Also agree with previous posters who have pointed out we don’t really have evidence that the school were failing to deal with the racist comments. Sounds like it was possible they were not aware it was still happening. The daughter hadn’t told her mum until the weekend. I really hope it doesn’t get forgotten or minimised as a result of all of this.

Is the 10 year old boy white British, op?

Your friend was obviously wrong however if the mother of the bully starts giving you shit I'd be inclined to tell her that none of it would have happened if her child wasn't a nasty little racist.

Threats to kill charge can only be applied if they genuinely believe someone’s life was at risk, which is unlikely in this case

Wrong. The question is whether OP's friend intended that person being threatened (the child in this case) would fear that she might do it. It doesn't matter whether the police believe OP's friend would have killed the child. What matters is what OP's friend wanted the child to think. Offences Against the Person Act 1861 S16.

You sound like someone who is very thoughtful and fair minded - I’d post something on the WhatsApp group along the lines of “I know the incident was a shock for everyone, myself included, and I think we all agree that it should never have happened as no adult should act that way to a 10 year old no matter the context/if she felt she was protecting her own child. At the same time, I was surprised and disappointed that people on this chat have suggested I should have somehow have known what was about to happen or be able to prevent it when I’ve certainly never seen anything to suggest an incident like this was about to occur and I don’t think I have ever behaved in a manner which suggests I believe this is how we should solve issues. I plan to leave the school to deal with the legal aftermath and focus on my own children and their lives so please leave me out of any further conversations on the matter.” Then mute / don’t respond further. The only reason I would say anything is that I think it’s better to tell your story firmly and fairly once (and only once) before muting them all.

I would also like to add whatever op was doing, it was not her job to babysit her adult friend!

IF you were standing chatting in a group of people I can only suggest that you let others know this, also stating that while your friend was also one of those people there never in a million years would you have predicted that she'd have gone for a child as she did.

There wouldn't have been any point in refusing to talk to the police so you did nothing wrong there, I suspect your friends feelings are running high and she feels that the racist comments made towards her DC and how upset they've been are being forgotten about in all this.

I dare say it was awful for both adults and children caught in the cross fire and should now act as a lesson for the school, and parents that any form of bulling/racist comments need addressing and nipping in the bud immediately.

The police are likely to drop the case as charging a mother of a child on the receiving end of racist abuse is likely to become very messy.
Threats to kill charge can only be applied if they genuinely believe someone’s life was at risk, which is unlikely in this case. We are then left with racial harassment and abuse, and whether the CPS will be interested in pursuing a ten year old.

Most likely a common sense approach will be taken. This still does not help the victim here of racial abuse - that now not only has to contend with her racist bullies but now has to deal with the fall out of the altercation in the playground. None of this is her fault, she is the only victim in this situation.

I sincerely hope the school move heaven and earth to support her. Our school certainly would.

The children should be encouraged to talk through this incident with a counsellor. Especially the little girl.