Friend in trouble, police at my door.

FFS she’s already given a statement.

Even if she hadn’t, as other posters have said, it may well go to court at which point she’d be summonsed. Plus surely it’s better for the friend to give a balanced statement than for the police to only get statements from the child, parents etc?

Indeed. All the other children who witnessed this verbal assault on bully child. They did not deserve to witness that.

They didn’t deserve to have to go into school scared of this aggressive women. Who for some will now be scared to enter the playground in the morning incase she comes back.

Which is why also hopefully the mother will be barred from premises.

objecting to an adult scaring children at school by screaming obscenities and threatening to hit and kill one of them (considering that some of the children present will live in situations where the threat of violence is very real) is not ‘siding with a racist bully’.

Years ago I picked my nephew up from school as a favour to my sister in law and I was verbally abused in front of everyone by the father of a boy in his class - the boys were in year 3, so pretty young, and there had been some kind of altercation.

I kept telling him I wasn't the mother, but he wouldn't listen, and he was absolutely raging at me. It was very frightening.

The head was brilliant. She banned the dad from the playground for 2 weeks, made him apologise to me (letter), asked if I wanted to press charges, made me feel supported.

I didn't take it further. But I could have.

People need to understand that they can't just go about letting off steam at other parents, kids. There are consequences. I would hope that the friend here is spoken to and doesn't do it again.

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Threatening a child is wrong. Doing it in a situation where you will be scaring other innocent children is even worse

This

I think a lot of people on here are secretly racist. I bet they wouldn't be so quick to defend the little shit if it was their little darlings getting bullied!

I doubt it will go to court. So you would drop a friend on it snd side with a racist bully would you?

I would tell the police you didn't see anything.

So you advise blatantly lying to the police? And if she is subpoenaed to appear in court, do you advise she perjures herself there too? Her reaction made it quite clear she saw what happened.

From OPs first post:

Daughter has been receiving snipey racist abuse from a child in her class. Always where teachers can't hear and it's been going on for a couple of weeks.

I would tell the police you didn't see anything. She is your friend and going through a lot. Why drop her in it over a racist little thug. Think how you would feel if it was your child being bullied. Yes she was wrong but I'm sure she knows that now. Hopefully it gave the little shit a good scare and he won't even think of saying anything to her daughter now. Tell the boys mum she has brought up a vile racist bully and not to text you and be more concerned with her son. She probably has these racist views as he obviously learnt it from somewhere! I hope your friend and her daughter are okay

The school were only told about the allegation once months ago, and we don't know what was done by them but we do know that no one including the mum knew that there was an ongoing problem until the weekend before she attacked the boy on the Monday morning. Any reasonable person would have gone to the school for a 2nd time to tell them that the alleged racism was still happening, she didn't she went straight to attacking and threatening to kill a child, there's nothing reasonable or understandable about it.
All of us who have endured bullying and/or seen our children suffering from it know that there's a process to follow which escalates with each incident, a 1 off report of non violent bullying is usually delt with by talking to the children involved and putting appropriate measures in place to monitor the situation, if no further incidents are seen or reported the school will assume that it's working (which is a reasonable assumption), if the mum had reported that it was continuing even with the current measures then things could have been taken further. Instead she decided to go after a child.
The sad thing about all of this is that the girl at the centre of this will now have to endure all the other kids and parents talking about her mum and is likely going to be a social pariah. Worst of all is if the boy in question was as sneaky about his bullying as most are there won't have been any evidence of the bullying when it was investigated (assuming that it was) so it could look like the mum is targeting the boy for no reason and that will play out badly for both mother and child.

According to OP, it has been going on two weeks. The school attempted to address it but it became apparent over the weekend that they were unsuccessful. On Monday morning mother decided to threaten to kill the child instead of telling the school.

Message your friend explaining you don't agree with what she did but you understand why she did what she did. Tell her you didn't call the police but will have to co operate with them & that you will tell them what the background is as to why she flew off it with the boy. Put short message in the whatsapp group saying you don't condone your friend did however, you will support her as she is having a difficult time & was defending her child. don't engage any further on the group.

feel mam was under a lot of stress and if it had been going on for months school should have done something what mam did was wrong but at same time when its your child probably just had enough not sure why she blames you .but if you knew maybe should have told school and it never needed to go this far

It was, of course, absolutely wrong for the mother to verbally attack and frighten the young boy. But if you put yourself in the place of the OP's friend, surely you can see that, especially given her other personal circumstances, this was just the last straw for this woman. She was already feeling terrible and then she hears that her daughter is being bullied by a boy in the school. Yes, her behaviour was outrageous and illegal but the lack of sympathy for this woman's situation surprises me.

As for the OP, it is also outrageous that, having done nothing wrong at all, she seems now to be the subject of another form of bullying. As others have suggested, she should inform the group that she is not responsible for someone else's actions - and also that her friend's daughter had been a victim of racism.

She should tell her friend that it was the school who called the police but that her actions were illegal and made that outcome inevitable. I don't agree that the OP should now distance herself from her friend. I would imagine she really needs some support at this moment - and there is an impact on her child too if everybody sends Mum to coventry.

The OP should inform the police of any threatening messages she receives.

The school needs to be right on top of this - it has a duty to inform pupils and parents that racist comments and actions will be dealt with very severely.

A little bit off piste but someone threatened to kill my dd (17), he is due in court under Section 4, making threats without provocation.
It can carry a short prison sentence, the police do take these things seriously.

Why would you advise your child not to get involved? If my child witnessed racial abuse at school she would report it to her teacher immediately.

The mother should have reported the racial abuse to the police the first and every subsequent time it happened (even if the school had been made aware, and regardless of how the school managed it).

I feel very sorry for this mother, regardless of her own wrong behaviour.

Age 10 so year 6? By this time next year the kids will all be at secondary and the primary WhatsApp group will be no more and you probably won't have anything to do with most of the parents going forward. Might be worth getting out early.

How do you knows it’s the boys mother who is racist? Could equally be his dad, or uncle. Or friend. This is pure speculation. You absolutely cannot threaten to kill a young child and physically dominate/intimidate them based on some projected notion. I would 100% be reporting that woman to the police and pursuing charges.

I mean they didn’t have much choice. I refused to go in. So who knows if the school fixed the bullying. I wasn’t stepping foot inside. They would carry me in and the second they let go I would run off.

I know me and that person never had an issue again after despite living in the same street.

So it only stopped because you changed schools? You shouldn’t have had to.