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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not invite my parents' siblings to my child's wedding

331 replies

userzerozerozero · 21/10/2024 07:41

I need to sanity check my thinking. My son is getting married, large wedding, no budget constraints fortunately. Long back story but I am NC with my own sibling and my parents have not been supportive of me over this however I still have a relationship with them and see them regularly. Our relationship is not positive and my MH around them is terrible. I come from a background where family is everything and there is a lot of pressure to do the right thing in terms of inviting wider family to significant events though I have broken rules around this many times in the past.

My mother's brother and family have been very supportive of me through the ups and downs of my decision around breaking ties with my sibling and have offered support and advice when needed while still remaining close with my parents. They are lovely to my son but they are not close with them IFYSWIM.

Now my son is getting married and we've decided as a family not to invite my uncle and aunt mostly at the request of my son and his partner as they want more friends and a younger vibe. Deep down I'm wondering whether I've gone along with this to punish my parents in a way. My uncle will be deeply disappointed but they won't make a fuss. AIBU to just go along with it knowing my parents will be upset and potentially my uncle as well?

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 21/10/2024 07:50

Well, a wedding is one way to thank people who have been good to you so I understand that you’re disappointed. And I would be sad if my son didn’t acknowledge it with an invitation.

Agix · 21/10/2024 07:50

It's not your choice anyway?

TickingAlongNicely · 21/10/2024 07:49

Ultimately its their decision... but I would encourage them to reconsider.

mitogoshigg · 21/10/2024 07:48

Depends on how large the wedding. If it's large enough to have work colleagues and plus ones, people they know through hobbies and friends beyond very close inner friendship groups than not inviting family is mean. It's their wedding but young people do need guidance and eg the 12 people on the football team may seem important today but those sorts of friends are generally transient based on a particular activity and when you cease you are no longer close friends.

NewIdeasToday · 21/10/2024 07:45

I don’t see the connection between the situation with your sibling and not inviting your aunt and uncle to a family wedding.

Not inviting close family to a wedding in order to have a ‘younger vibe’ seems a pretty strange decision!!

DustyLee123 · 21/10/2024 07:44

It’s the bride and groom’s decision, not anyone else’s.