To find this an odd comment from the charity shop assistant

Tell us you hate Americans without actually telling us you hate Americans.

I would expect an experienced shop assistant to be good at estimating a customer's size. She obviously assessed you accurately, you are not a size 20. Why would you be offended that she interacted with you? Your response should be "Thank you but they're not for me", "Thank you but I find x brand comes up really small", "Thank you but they're such nice fabric I would adjust them/turn them into a skirt/line the dog's bed" or just "Thank you".

It's a very Mumsnet thing.

"OMG OMG OMG SOMEONE COMMENTED ON SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY BODY!!!"

Meanwhile in the real world.... 🙄

What on earth was snooty about what she said?

@xTheLoudLeaderx WhatsInTheRug
Which is where?

Concentrate on the what she’s selling… general retail duties. Usually making people feel welcome. I used to work in retail and never would ever tell a customer that something wouldn’t be any good for them and make them feel uncomfortable. In a charity shop too… sounds like she’s in the wrong job.

Please 😂

Most likely the 'shop worker' is a volunteer with minimal training

Er,please 🤨

I wouldn't haven't been offended by it, but yeah it was odd IMO. No need for her to have commented at all. This is why I hate going into small-ish shops with only 1 staff member in. You often get annoying, inane small talk and drivel from the shop assistant. I just want to look at the goods, I will have a quick chat to the assistant as I'm paying. Leave me alone while I'm looking.

A local furniture store lost a £1000 sale from me and DH last year, after a woman who worked in there followed me and DH around like a fucking shadow, hanging onto us, mithering us, suggesting things for us (even though she doesn't know us - or what our house looks like!) and refusing to leave us alone. FIVE TIMES me and DH said 'thanks anyway, but we'll have a look with just the two of us now and let you know when we need you.' Still, she refused to fuck off.

After around 14-15 minutes I just walked out. DH came out 30 seconds later. We wanted to be left ALONE to look and peruse, and try different armchairs and beds out. But we couldn't relax because of her interfering, talking at us, asking multiple questions, and following us around like a sheep.

.

She was most likely a volunteer though. A lot of charity shop workers I come across appear to have some mild disabilities too, so I'd not been offended if their customer service skills weren't the most polished.

A young man was trying to be helpful when I was buying something quite recently, he was way off the mark, but I could tell he was just trying to be helpful and have a chat. No harm done. It's just a bit of harmless human interaction.

So she was right.

She was just making conversation in a harmless and trying to be helpful way.

This is not uncommon in my world, and I appreciate people attempting to make a connection with me. It wouldn't occur to me to overthink it.

Robot? No! How about someone DISCREET and and able to provide a quiet service?

I have stopped going to a charity shop here because there's an American lady on the till who says "oooh that's lovely!" and remarks on how this jumper or that scarf goes with my eyes. I am not there to be complimented on my eyes or reassured that my tastes are to her standards. Loud, cheeky woman who thinks she's got to OPINE on everything with her nasal accent.

OP, send and email to management that your body size is NOT a topic of conversation.

I suppose you are always on dodgy ground commenting on someone's weight, she was probably only wanting to help and would know that you meant she was too slim for them.

Why were you looking at a pair of trousers that were too big for you? Were you struggling to find the size on the label? Maybe that's what she thought.

I think the closed question from the snooty bat in the charity shop offended the OP.

Anyone with experience would ask to help, e.g ask what they was looking for… not straight in with “they’re no good for you”

Yes she could have been buying them for someone else.

In which case normal human interaction would go along the lines of, "Oh thanks but they're not for me, I'm buying them for someone else".

Snooty bat my arse 🙄

Honestly, some moaners wont stop whining until there's no public human interaction at all, and we've all turned into robots.

And even then they'll be moaning that we've all turned into robots...

Concentrate on the what she’s selling… general retail duties. Usually making people feel welcome. I used to work in retail and never would ever tell a customer that something wouldn’t be any good for them and make them feel uncomfortable. In a charity shop too… sounds like she’s in the wrong job.

Please 😂

Non issue, she was trying to assist you.

What the actual feck is it lately with all the threads about charity shop workers apparently saying the wrong thing?

This is a YOU problem OP because what they said was more insignificant than a moth's fart.

Which is where?

I'm usually of the opinion people should have more grace for shop assistants - there's nothing worse than forced interaction with the general public. Having said that, I'm with you - even if she needed to say something, she could have said, 'oh that's a lovely pair of trousers from X who once did Y'. Generally I'd err on the side of not addressing people's size whether being helpful or not. If the OP had found the size 20 trousers to be too small or the size of a parachute then so be it.

You should have told the snooty bat to mind her own business. You could have been buying them for someone else or willing to alter them yourself, like with the leg length. I hope you put her in her place.

It's called small talk

So the trousers clearly wouldn't fit, what is the issue?

YABU

I imagine you look a lot slimmer than a size twenty and she was trying to stop you wasting your time?

I guess you could have been buying for someone else but that's quite unusual I imagine for adults to buy for another adult

What size are you?