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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find this an odd comment from the charity shop assistant

156 replies

LellyJelly · 20/10/2024 23:37

I was looking through some rail, one near the till and I was looking at some trousers for a while, just seeing what they were like. I could feel that she was watching me. All of a sudden the assistant said 'they're a size 20, I don't think they'd be any good for you.' Aibu to think this is odd to comment on? She doesn't know my size and I felt like she was a bit strange to decide what would be good or not for me.

OP posts:
Violinist64 · 21/10/2024 00:52

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:04

Robot? No! How about someone DISCREET and and able to provide a quiet service?

I have stopped going to a charity shop here because there's an American lady on the till who says "oooh that's lovely!" and remarks on how this jumper or that scarf goes with my eyes. I am not there to be complimented on my eyes or reassured that my tastes are to her standards. Loud, cheeky woman who thinks she's got to OPINE on everything with her nasal accent.

OP, send and email to management that your body size is NOT a topic of conversation.

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I think this lady sounds rather nice. If someone said something like that to me I would take it as the compliment it was intended to be. I also think you are being very rude about the fact that she is American and about her accent. I am not a general fan of American culture or some of their accents, but I could say the same about some aspects of British culture and some of our accents. In any case, there are good and bad people everywhere in the world and she sounds like one of the good ones.

AutumnLeaves24 · 21/10/2024 00:44

TillyKister · 21/10/2024 00:33

I'm curious as to why you were looking at a pair of trousers for a while.

Surely you'd look at the size and if they weren't suitable put them back.

Or buy them if they were suitable.

Standing there looking at them for a while when they were clearly the wrong size seems odd. So she obviously advised you on the size, as she clearly saw they weren't your size, and advised you accordingly.

She was merely being helpful.

Maybe she was looking at the fabric to use for something else? This time of year, to make a 'guy' or turn into a costume?

it really doesn't matter. She can look as long as she likes.

im sure the OP IS quite able to decide for herself whether the'll fit her or not (IF she even needs them to)

WhichEllie · 21/10/2024 00:42

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:09

If I want the opinion of a shop worker, I can ask.

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This is an utterly unhinged level of snobbery and nastiness coming from someone buying secondhand goods from a charity shop.

TillyKister · 21/10/2024 00:33

I'm curious as to why you were looking at a pair of trousers for a while.

Surely you'd look at the size and if they weren't suitable put them back.

Or buy them if they were suitable.

Standing there looking at them for a while when they were clearly the wrong size seems odd. So she obviously advised you on the size, as she clearly saw they weren't your size, and advised you accordingly.

She was merely being helpful.

121Diet · 21/10/2024 00:30

saraclara · 21/10/2024 00:10

Oooh, Lady Muck just popped by.

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🤣

VioletCrawleyForever · 21/10/2024 00:27

Are you normally this over sensitive OP?

DancingNotDrowning · 21/10/2024 00:20

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:09

If I want the opinion of a shop worker, I can ask.

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It’s difficult to imagine anyone being this much of a cunt.

the woman was being helpful. The trousers were at least 2, possibly 3 sizes too big for the OP.

RogueFemale · 21/10/2024 00:16

YABU

ShowerOfShites · 21/10/2024 00:14

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 21/10/2024 00:13

I bet more people DO! 🤷‍♂️

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I disagree but even if you're right, it's still no-one else's problem but their own.

WhatsInTheRug · 21/10/2024 00:13

Delphiniumandlupins · 21/10/2024 00:13

Perhaps you looked like a shop-lifter and she wanted to let you know you were being watched?

Yes it happens!

JubilantTurquoiseGerbil · 21/10/2024 00:13

saraclara · 21/10/2024 00:12

You can't be real, surely?

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She is, and she’s just getting started.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 21/10/2024 00:13

ShowerOfShites · 21/10/2024 00:11

And 'many' people don't 🤷‍♂️

The OP is someone who apparently does and she met someone who probably doesn't.

This is the OP's problem, not the volunteer's.

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I bet more people DO! 🤷‍♂️

Delphiniumandlupins · 21/10/2024 00:13

Perhaps you looked like a shop-lifter and she wanted to let you know you were being watched?

saraclara · 21/10/2024 00:12

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:04

Robot? No! How about someone DISCREET and and able to provide a quiet service?

I have stopped going to a charity shop here because there's an American lady on the till who says "oooh that's lovely!" and remarks on how this jumper or that scarf goes with my eyes. I am not there to be complimented on my eyes or reassured that my tastes are to her standards. Loud, cheeky woman who thinks she's got to OPINE on everything with her nasal accent.

OP, send and email to management that your body size is NOT a topic of conversation.

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You can't be real, surely?

Anuta77 · 21/10/2024 00:12

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:09

If I want the opinion of a shop worker, I can ask.

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Well, most people don't mind a compliment. She can't read your mind. Just learn to communicate your desires instead of judging her.
A good salesperson wouldn't just sit silently at the cash ignoring a customer, actually it would be a bad thing to do.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 21/10/2024 00:12

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:09

If I want the opinion of a shop worker, I can ask.

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This. ^ Some are fine, but some do insist on throwing their opinions in. I fucking hate it when I'm taking stuff through the checkout and the operator comments on my shopping/my food/what I'm buying. Just scan the stuff and mind your own business.

This is why I prefer self-scan!

PaminaMozart · 21/10/2024 00:11

Anyone with experience would ask to help, e.g ask what they was looking for… not straight in with “they’re no good for you”

Yes, if this had been John Lewis... However, most charity shop assistants are volunteers, so it may be reasonable to cut them some slack.

I think the response the OP was looking for was something along the lines of "You are probably right, but it's so difficult these days - I find sizing is often all over the place!"

ShowerOfShites · 21/10/2024 00:11

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 21/10/2024 00:08

Assuming you know everything about everybody........! 🙄

MANY people get upset and bothered when people make thoughtless comments about their body/dress size/body shape etc. If you don't, well woop de doo, and bully for you! Hmm

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And 'many' people don't 🤷‍♂️

The OP is someone who apparently does and she met someone who probably doesn't.

This is the OP's problem, not the volunteer's.

saraclara · 21/10/2024 00:10

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:09

If I want the opinion of a shop worker, I can ask.

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Oooh, Lady Muck just popped by.

Singleandproud · 21/10/2024 00:10

I assume most people volunteering in charity shops have additional needs of one sort or another, is certainly the case in the ones around here. Which is why you get that sort of behaviour / service in charity shops and not other types.

I would have just responded "I'm not looking for myself, thank you for letting me know though" and carried on.

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:09

Anuta77 · 21/10/2024 00:09

Seriously? You're upset at someone giving you a compliment? What a weirdo!
I used to work as a sales person at a clothing shop and we are thought to interact with customers.
If you don't want to interact, you can tell her politely.

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If I want the opinion of a shop worker, I can ask.

Blueberrycreampie · 21/10/2024 00:09

Many many people who work in charity shops are volunteers, often there to learn skills, including social skills, and may have been away from any work place for some time. Some are recovering from illness, may have/had mental health problems. It can be a route into permanent employment. She probably didn't mean any offence.

saraclara · 21/10/2024 00:09

WhatsInTheRug · 21/10/2024 00:06

@xTheLoudLeaderx WhatsInTheRug
Which is where?

Concentrate on the what she’s selling… general retail duties. Usually making people feel welcome. I used to work in retail and never would ever tell a customer that something wouldn’t be any good for them and make them feel uncomfortable. In a charity shop too… sounds like she’s in the wrong job.

Please 😂

Most likely the 'shop worker' is a volunteer with minimal training

Er,please 🤨

Some of my local charity shops 'employ ' people with a level of special needs.
I don't expect professional levels of service on a charity shop. I'm just glad that there are people who give their time, free of charge, to staff them.

Jeeze, it's not Selfridges. It's not even H&M. It's a charity shop trying to raise money with staff who maybe each do half a day a week to help out.

Anuta77 · 21/10/2024 00:09

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:04

Robot? No! How about someone DISCREET and and able to provide a quiet service?

I have stopped going to a charity shop here because there's an American lady on the till who says "oooh that's lovely!" and remarks on how this jumper or that scarf goes with my eyes. I am not there to be complimented on my eyes or reassured that my tastes are to her standards. Loud, cheeky woman who thinks she's got to OPINE on everything with her nasal accent.

OP, send and email to management that your body size is NOT a topic of conversation.

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Show quote history

Seriously? You're upset at someone giving you a compliment? What a weirdo!
I used to work as a sales person at a clothing shop and we are thought to interact with customers.
If you don't want to interact, you can tell her politely.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 21/10/2024 00:08

ShowerOfShites · 21/10/2024 00:06

It's a very Mumsnet thing.

"OMG OMG OMG SOMEONE COMMENTED ON SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY BODY!!!"

Meanwhile in the real world.... 🙄

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Assuming you know everything about everybody........! 🙄

MANY people get upset and bothered when people make thoughtless comments about their body/dress size/body shape etc. If you don't, well woop de doo, and bully for you! Hmm