To find this an odd comment from the charity shop assistant

If she’s American that’s how she was brought up to believe good service is. She’s not insulting you and she can’t help her accent.

“Loud, cheeky woman.” What a horrid post. I suggest you stick to staying safely indoors and shopping online so you never again run the risk of encountering a dreadful accent. Meanwhile, that god-forbid AMERICAN woman (how very dare she be American!) can carry on helpfully volunteering and doing something useful, unjudged by the terminally small-minded.

Tedious drama

I would find it rude. Unless I ask for help or am obviously looking confused I don't want shop assistants to interfere with my browsing. A polite 'can I help you with anything?' is fine. Those won't fit you feels rude to me - but giving the benefit of the doubt perhaps she was thinking she didn't want you saying you didn't realise what size they were and returning. I wouldn't fret over it.

She just felt the need to communicate. The trousers were her chance. Shop assistants will be encouraged to talk to customers, as you might go elsewhere & find a surly teen scrolling their phone behind the counter. They don’t want that.

People who work in charity shops are volunteers giving up their time for free and providing a service for the community.
they should not be judged on one comment out of context.

Once again in MN land someone has sat stewing for days on end due to a perfectly normal and benign everyday interaction

No wonder kids mental health is on the floor with role models who spend their days shaking and crying because somebody knocked the door^ or made conversation in a shop^

Exactly! I volunteer, not in a charity shop, but even so. We’re a very mixed bag and there is definitely a higher number of ND people in our team than there ever was in my corporate job.

It’s great, everyone works very hard, for free.

I'm a volunteer in a charity shop, one of a team of 8 mainly retired women and we help to keep the prices of the clothes low because the Charity only has to pay the manager. As far as I can tell, none of us has any disability that might affect our interaction with the public but most of us do like to chat and I expect we all get it a bit wrong sometimes. We've all held 'proper jobs' in the past and some miss the daily chat that made lives more colourful and interesting so take the opportunity to engage with the customers and yes, we probably miss the mark sometimes but none of us is ever intentionally rude or intrusive. I hope it won't put the OP off using charity shops.

I'd find that quite intrusive personally. I sometimes use charity shop stuff for things like costumes for my DC so obviously look at the smaller sized stuff. I'd feel quite embarrassed if someone felt the need to say something like, "that's a size 6 and you're obviously much larger".

Not giving personal comments when you've not been asked to is something everyone should know whether it's instinctive or something you need to have been taught.

Then YABU they will be to big on you and she just pointed out they were a bigger size than you take

Disclaimer I’m a volunteer in a charity shop and no I don’t have special needs. Like 95% of the volunteers I am retired and now have time to give back to a cause that is close to our hearts.
I actually think she was trying to compliment you, so tell you that she can see you are much smaller than a size 20 trousers.
It’s actually a bit sad that so few people want any kind of human interaction; it’s no wonder so many people are lonely and depressed.

Most of the charity shop staff are volunteers (apart from manager/supervisor) and nearly always people not in employment due to long term disability eg autism, learning disabilities. It helps them develop skills to use in paid employment!

The comment sounds like something a person with autism or learning disability would say in an attempt to be helpful & unaware it could come across wrong.

If you are going to be easily offended by people who have additional needs and might come across a bit 'different' then you are better off sticking to high end clothing shops who don't have staff with disability etc.

@LellyJelly

You need to watch ‘Charity Shop Sue’ on YouTube.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CMIg7s7ZGwI

Its not odd, it’s rude.

I can't even imagine the kind of person you must be to complain about a charity shop worker trying to be helpful. Most likely a volunteer, and quite possibly with a learning disability or other social disadvantages.

Could she have had a learning disability?
Was she trying to make a joke?
Trying to make conversation?
Maybe it was a compliment?

I honestly wouldn’t take her comment as rude.

Lol. Well, quite.

That's not very nice.

Is this a real post?

you’re a 14-16, so clearly look smaller than a 20. You’re 2-3 sizes smaller than that! She was trying to help you not waste your time. I could see how this may cause offence if you were bigger than a 20 and she’d said that, but you’re not. You’re smaller and she’s highlighted the fact you’re smaller and that’s offended you some how? So you’re a 14-16 who wants to look a size 20? I don’t get it.

all types of people work in charity shops,
give her a break op

I get you, @LellyJelly — you didn’t ask for audience participation.
And you shouldn’t have to be explaining now.

I bought a massive jumper a few weeks ago from a chairlift shop. It was marked one size but in hindsight that’s only because someone had cut the label out. It must be about a size 20, I’m a 10. It’s bloody massive 🤣

OP she wasn’t doing anything wrong at all, just making small talk. You could have just said ‘oh I like my clothes on the larger side’, conversation over.

I find charity shop workers quite often want to chat. I guess it’s the nature of someone who volunteers their time- friendly and wants to chat. That’s all. She was just starting a conversation and possibly was trying to help

Yeah that’s weird but charity shop volunteers and staff tend to be rather weird. They like to think they’re stopping grand theft 99% if the time. I used to be employed by the SA and that was a really intense group of shop staff that were convinced every single customer coming in was there to steal the donations.