To find this an odd comment from the charity shop assistant

MN is an eye opener, for sure, personally l don’t see it as a true representation of people in the UK and of course other people around the world are commenting too.Some people are under the impression it’s just mums commenting on here, it isn’t.And because it’s anonymous, some posters as just using this forum as entertainment, a way to argue, be rude, basically be angry and say things they wouldn’t have the front to say in real life, because it’s anonymous.So personally l don’t believe MN is a true representation of humanity, it’s a small percentage of people in the UK and other countries, who have shown, on this thread, just want to vent their anger and are not actually interested in the original post.

I love charity shops, so I’m in them a lot. I sometimes have slightly weird interactions with staff but I don’t pay them any mind because:
a) most of the time they are volunteers - who do the job for all sorts of different reasons (like interacting with people perhaps)
b) sometimes charity shop workers have disabilities or learning difficulties, getting some valuable work experience
c) it’s not like I’m a millionaire out shopping in Bond Street, expecting a certain level of service 😂

After reading some of the replies on here my head is in my hands.
Some dreadfully snobbish, rude and downright nasty people out there.

I work in the NHS so I'm used to the demands of the public. They are very much a mixed bag of predominantly good decent people and then you get the opposites that are just bloody awful and no matter what you do or say it's not right.

Posts like this and some of the replies on here make me despair for humanity.

'@KnottedTwine

Again the old nonsense about volunteers being there because they are too stupid to "get a proper job". The three volunteers on shift in our shop yesterday (and we are all volunteers in our shop, we have no paid staff at all) were B, a former social worker, F, a recently retired teacher and me, a self-employed professional. This idea that the only people working in "most" charity shops are socially awkward, have special needs, can't get work elsewhere or are just totally stupid is so insulting.'

You are choosing to read things in my comments that are simply not there and to get offended.

Most volunteers are not retail professionals, that's my point and you can't expect them to get everything right.

I have worked as a volunteer in a charity shop myself and there is often zero customer service training given.

As a neurodivergent person I would also like to remind you that there is nothing wrong about being socially awkward or having special needs or with people who are unemployed getting work experience and references from working in charity shops. It seems to me that you are the one who is judging many of the people who volunteer in these shops...

Most charity shops have volunteers behind the till though so it is not uncommon to have people who know very little about customer service and running a proper shop

Again the old nonsense about volunteers being there because they are too stupid to "get a proper job". The three volunteers on shift in our shop yesterday (and we are all volunteers in our shop, we have no paid staff at all) were B, a former social worker, F, a recently retired teacher and me, a self-employed professional. This idea that the only people working in "most" charity shops are socially awkward, have special needs, can't get work elsewhere or are just totally stupid is so insulting.

She should not have said that because:

• it is none of her business what size you are looking at
• you could be shopping for someone else
• you could be buying something because you like the fabric and will alter the trousers later (I have a sewing machine and often look at clothes in a different size if I like the fabric because I can customise them).

Most charity shops have volunteers behind the till though so it is not uncommon to have people who know very little about customer service and running a proper shop...

I'm 44, northern AND I've worked in a charity shop and I agree with the OP that this was odd.

There's definitely better ways to communicate than making personal remarks - and by that I'm referring specifically to the 'no good for you' part, not the bit where she points out that they are a size 20.

I'd also disagree with the trope that all charity shop volunteers either have additional needs, can't get a "proper job", or have limited social skills. I have volunteered in two different shops, and yes in each there have been one or two volunteers with additional needs. But most people are not there because they are unable to work in a paid job, or to be rehabilitated.

Most volunteers I have come across are recently retired, stay at home mums, students, 16 or 17 year olds who are still at school, or people who just want to give a bit back.

What is wrong with the idea of people talking to each other?

I am a charity shop volunteer, chatting and making conversation is something most customers are happy with. I also know that a recent policy change means we will not refund unless the customer has the original receipt, hasn't removed the tags, hasn't damaged the item etc etc. So I would absolutely say something if I saw a customer picking up an item which was never going to fit them.

And 99 out of 100 normal customers would say "oh it's not for me" or "i'm going to upcycle the fabric" or whatvever, not get their knickers in a knot about odd comments.

Since in a charity shop where non-professional people are working? Again, this is not Harrods.

Two points. Item of clothing may not have been for you.
I have a number of times ,bought items in a larger size because I liked the style or colour or material and altered them to fit.

So? Then the browser can just as easily say, ‘I’m buying it for someone else’, or, ‘I like to repurpose fabric’. Somehow having to respond to a simple remark is being made out to be the biggest inconvenience, or even insult, possible.

or was wondering why someone was spending ages looking at something that wasn't her size
Clothes are quite often donated to charity shops precisely because they are mis-labelled. They might say a size 20 but are actually a different size. I sometimes ponder trying on stuff that isn't (allegedly) my size.
And sometimes I just like to examine something: I'll note that it's nice fabric or tailoring or whatever and make a mental note to look out for that brand.
Or, as PP said, I might buy something for an alternate reason - for the fabric, for the buttons, to take the zip out to mend another pair of trousers, etc.

The member of staff should not be commenting, unless you bring the item to the cash desk and they make some vague "that's nice" comment.

YANBU I would find it odd too, and would put me off going there again. It is said that unsolicited advice is always criticism.

Not only that, people browsing are not always looking for an item for themselves, or even to use as clothing.
I went in a charity shop today, and my mum picked up a shirt for my dad.... clearly a men's shirt and would look like a tent on my mum.
I also have a friend who is about size 28/30, and she bought a size 8 skirt in a charity shop because she liked the fabric. She used it to cover a journal. She certainly would have not taken kindly to being told that it would not fit her.

Exactly i am 44 northern and think if this is all that bothered you get a bloody life. Christ almighty

I avoid shops where you're the only person in there and they are watching everything you do like a hawk. I want to be able to browse without being given advice on every single thing I pick up.

I reckon either the OP looked dodgy and the shop assistant was afraid she was going to shoplift., or was wondering why someone was spending ages looking at something that wasn't her size or was confused.
I can't believe some of the comments on here!

She was trying to be helpful it was just perhaps poorly worded.

My goodness, so she was right? Why are people so annoying these days, looking and digging and scratching for offence ??

It seems like a perfectly reasonable and helpful thing to say to me. Not hard to say actually I was wondering if they'd suit my mum, or whatever and have an actual pleasant moment passing the time of day with another human being.

Cant say anything to anyone these days without them being "offended"

I think she needs a bit of training in diplomacy because that comment could easily be taken amiss! But she'll have meant the trousers would be too big, and she'll have meant it helpfully, I would guess.