About DD's name

Your DD is not yet cognitively developed enough to understand. I think it's OK for them to call her Charlotte, but it's hugely disrespectful towards you and your wishes. She is your child. Lottie is a beautiful name. It's also a name used in Phantom of the Opera, for Christine:

"Little Lotte is the name of a character in a poem called A Child's first sorrow by Andreas Munch. Christine and Raul used to read it before her father died, and Christine adopted the name. It is also a name of an old game where the little lotte has too chose from three items."

I agree with this.

YABU. This is silly. Her name is Charlotte. What's the point in only calling her a name that's not her legal name and then getting funny when someone uses her legal name?

Why the hell not?

I understand partly, because I get mad when my in laws call me by a short version of my name that I hate, but why on earth call your daughter by a name you don't want her to be known by?

If her name on her birth certificate is Charlotte, I don't see the problem if her grands parent called her that, I'd you really wanted to call her Lottie it should have been on her birth certificate in my opinion.

So you chose Charlotte for her BC and sulk when people call her that? If you want people to call her Lottie then you should have just chosen Lottie. I don't understand why people put a different name on the BC. Just name them the name you want, it's 2024.

choose your battles. In-laws hate Lottie and that’s okay since her actual name is Charlotte. I love Charlotte, not Lottie so much so I’m actually with the in-laws, sorry. That being said, I had three nicknames as a child and I answered to all of them. I wasn’t confused at all.

Oh ha 😁

I wouldn’t change her name, she might want to have the options of both when she’s older.

Maybe she read a lot of Catherine Cookson😁 Because of Upstairs Downstairs for years Ruby was very much a scullery maid type name to me (and Daisy). It took quite a while to move away from that.

Heh, my son is bilingual, for a while as a toddler he would refer to himself as one name in English and another name in Finnish, as he strongly associated those names with the languages (the English name being Baby ) which made logical sense as mum and dad had different names in the different languages, so why not his name

I don't think you are a moron at all.

Look the comment about a Victorian servant is a massive red flag that you will have bigger issues ahead with these in-laws.

Save yourself for the bigger rows ahead!

Just let this one go. My DS has a long name and apparently DH only agreed to it because I was very ill after the birth and never liked it, So I call him the long name and DH call him by a nickname version and friends and family differ too depending on who they know best.

Anyway, he's never got confused at all.

I myself have a name with several pet versions and different people who come from different stages of my life call me different names. Only people who know me through work call me by my actual long name.

This is what its all about. Spend some time @user873628 reflecting on the bigger picture where the behaviorial issues of ILs will escalate on birth of DGD.

My kids both have full names on birth certificates but have always been called short versions. They knew their short versions first but due to occasional use of the long versions by some people quickly knew them too. I think they are being a very rude and Lottie is a lovely nickname but I voted YABU as I don't think it will confuse her that her grandparents call her Charlotte, and it is her name. I would tell them they are being rude about her nickname but leave them to call her by her full name.

My son is older but my In-laws always call him by his full name and not the shortened version we use. It's never bothered us & he answers to both names. His friends call him a different shortened version 😂

My name is Charlotte, the majority of my family have always called me Lottie (including parents, who still do even in my 30’s), but I’ve always referred to myself as Charlotte as feels more me. Ultimately as you’ve given her a name that has multiple ‘nicknames’ there was always a strong possibility others would choose a version they prefer to use. If you wanted to avoid this you should have literally just called her Lottie to avoid confusion.

Change her name. Honestly, the name regret will always piss you off. She's young enough for it to be changed and not know

They say it sounds like a Victorian servant and is ridiculous and refuse to use it. - unbelievable. I hope you have told them they are being ridiculous. Do not pander to this. Tell them they must call her Lottie and brook no argument.

I know this isn't totally the point of the thread but I had such a similar experience. We decided on our daughter's name as we were on our way to the registration office at 6 weeks. I like it now and it suits her but it wouldn't have been my choice and I have a wobble about it every few months. My husband talks about how difficult it was to come up with a name and how we both worked so hard but the truth is he didn't want to engage when I talked about names, other than vetoing the ones I really liked. So I really sympathise.

And yet I disagree! The GPs should, I think, use whatever name the child’s parents have asked them to use — regardless of what’s on the birth certificate.

OP, I’d be upset in this situation too — with your ILs for deliberately ignoring your wishes, and with your DH for not supporting you when you and he have both agreed on Lottie.

We had this issue with our DD, different name but same thing. In-laws would only use full name at first but at some point they just started to use the name that everyone else calls her because that's her name. I'd just let it go, baby won't care and it won't affect her learning her own name.

What's with all the childcare comments? Very funny to me how many people can't fathom a grandparent spending time with their grandchildren of their own free will.

OP, it's very annoying that your DH won't stand up for your preferred name. But please don't worry about confusing your DD, she will not be confused by someone calling her something different a few hours a week. You and her dad and everyone normal you know call her Lottie most of the time.

Lord knows my poor DC used to get called the most absurd things when they were babies, every family member had their own nicknames and me and DH always were inventing new ones. I think we used more nicknames than real names at that age. When my own DS was 9 months old my dad (say DS's name is Noah) used to call DS Noahsaurussauceababyoh (Noah-saurus-sauce-a-baby-oh), and I used to call DS 'Noahlala Sweet Koala'. DS is totally unscathed and always knew his real name!