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Cheeky grandma putting her granddaughter over our fence

140 replies

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:48

Posted about this grandma before.

Dd has a friend from schools grandmother, who lives at the back of us. The child was often at our house on a Sunday or Dd was there, I didnt mind as it gave Dd an easy playmate, but this child has recently started to say mean things, so I’ve backed off.
Dh has taken Dd out for the day and then she’s due to go to another neighbour friends house for a quick play when they’re back.
I’ve just been sat here in my pjs, under duvet watching Netflix, having a lazy day, when I see this child at the back patio window stood there looking in, gave me such a shock 🙈Ddog starts barking her head off. I say through the glass that Dd isn’t here today, she goes off and I hear her telling her grandma and playing in the garden…?! Am I uptight or is this a bit cheeky? Her grandma will have had to lift her over our back garden fence onto our garden bench.
Similar happened a few weeks ago when I was in alone as Dd at a party and they drove outside the front of the house, calling DD’s name out of the window and asking if she could come in to play.
The grandma has my number, so could have just Whatsapped me if she wanted to see about a play date
I just found it to be a real invasion of privacy to just be at the back patio window looking in, out of nowhere

OP posts:
whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 17:25

@ilovelamp82 Her grandma was standing by the other side of the fence, I could hear her talking and the child said ‘Her mum is there, but mychildsname isn’t. I didn’t even open the patio door to go out in the garden to see, just heard grandma and thought no way

OP posts:
PullTheBricksDown · 20/10/2024 17:24

Yes, make it about the dog and say it's a risk that the dog will bite her as it's trained to attack anyone climbing over the fence

Tillybobbins · 20/10/2024 17:23

I’d post get back over the fence with the message ‘They’re about to go out’ and make it abundantly clear you’re not. The penny might drop then that it has to suit you.

SemperIdem · 20/10/2024 17:20

I remember your thread before. You need to be significantly more assertive with this woman!

Nanny0gg · 20/10/2024 17:18

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:51

Why doesn’t she just WhatsApp me?!!

Did you march her straight back home or tell grandma to fetch her?

Todaypicard · 20/10/2024 17:17

I would be very direct and clear. “Please do not ever put child over the fence again without asking my overt permission. It is incredibly dangerous.” No being nice!
or call social services and say a child has been abandoned in your garden.

Daffodilpup · 20/10/2024 17:16

If I saw a child at my back door it would make me jump and drop the dinner I was holding or something. I don’t understand why someone would do that or think it’s ok!

thursdaymurderclub · 20/10/2024 17:15

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:51

Why doesn’t she just WhatsApp me?!!

why don't YOU whatsapp her with a gentle 'might be a good idea to check on our plans next time to avoid wee 'insert name here' being disapointed next time'

twilightcafe · 20/10/2024 17:14

YABU

Speak up now and put a stop to this nonsense from a CF who sees you as a mug.

alexdgr8 · 20/10/2024 17:13

I can see why you don't want to mingle with this family.
Just say no.
To never do that.
Mention the dog but don't encourage discussion.
Good luck.

AgileGreenSeal · 20/10/2024 17:12

I had a neighbour like this - she dumped her child on anyone who looked sideways at her, including me. (I have no young children, just grandchildren.)
Nip this in the bud, OP or it will be a regular occurrence.

MabelMora · 20/10/2024 17:10

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:55

@MabelMora But why should we have to? It’s under a lovely tree in a nice spot for my dad to sit on with his coffee, when he comes over

Well of course you shouldn't have to, but it would be the first thing I'd do, then obviously I'd speak to the granny. The bench would then go back when I was sure she'd got the message.

Snazzysausage · 20/10/2024 17:09

ilovelamp82 · 20/10/2024 17:05

Also, what if you weren't in? How would she get back?

That's a good point. Presumably to get back to granny's garden she would have to climb onto the bench to enable granny to reach her. Mindbogglingly cheeky.

ThoraZ · 20/10/2024 17:08

I also remember your previous thread. You are just going to have to be assertive with the woman. There’s no other solution. You already know she’s being unreasonable. You can either stand up to her or no doubt you’ll be starting another thread on here in a few weeks time with her having done something else.

Gcsunnyside23 · 20/10/2024 17:08

Not cool, definitely message and tell her not to do it anymore. Use the dog as an excuse if you're not comfortable being direct

FloofPaws · 20/10/2024 17:05

It's a bloody cheek!! Plus you have a dog so that's not good, if the dog was taken aback it may have gone for her, in DDogs own property - not good as your dog may have had to be PTS! Tell her to stop and just to WhatsApp - it's fucking awful feeling you can't do what you want to in your own home in case a
Kid hammmers on your back door 😵‍💫

ilovelamp82 · 20/10/2024 17:05

Also, what if you weren't in? How would she get back?

UpUpUpU · 20/10/2024 17:03

Id use the dog and say it is very territorial. What an absolute cheek!

NeckolasCage · 20/10/2024 17:03

‘Dear CheekyGran, please never EVER put Prudence over the fence like that again. The dog went mad and if I hadn’t seen that she was unsupervised in the garden, I would have let the dog out as we thought we had an intruder. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Please never do something so dangerous again’

takealettermsjones · 20/10/2024 17:01

Never mind ask before letting her over - tell her she's in no circumstances to lift her GD over your fence and onto your property! The absolute cheek

ilovelamp82 · 20/10/2024 17:00

Whatsapp her. Please don't put granddaugher over the fence. I was naked as I often am when home alone with DH, don't want to scar the child.

ShillyShallySherbet · 20/10/2024 16:59

Yeah that’s not right. Message the grandmother and say please can you ask before letting your granddaughter over the fence. We have a neighbour who comes over our fence to play with our DC and she used to just climb over herself into our garden at the start, a simple message to her mum the first time it happened saying please can she ask before coming over sorted that out and she’s never done it again.

Spinet · 20/10/2024 16:58

I would send a message to the GM saying "Evie nearly got an eyeful just then! Can you text before you send her over?!' or similar.

coldcallerbaiter · 20/10/2024 16:58

Moving the bench temporarily will solve it. Or she’ll drop her any way with a hard landing…

LazyOnSunday · 20/10/2024 16:58

WhatsApp her and tell her not to do it.

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