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Cheeky grandma putting her granddaughter over our fence

140 replies

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:48

Posted about this grandma before.

Dd has a friend from schools grandmother, who lives at the back of us. The child was often at our house on a Sunday or Dd was there, I didnt mind as it gave Dd an easy playmate, but this child has recently started to say mean things, so I’ve backed off.
Dh has taken Dd out for the day and then she’s due to go to another neighbour friends house for a quick play when they’re back.
I’ve just been sat here in my pjs, under duvet watching Netflix, having a lazy day, when I see this child at the back patio window stood there looking in, gave me such a shock 🙈Ddog starts barking her head off. I say through the glass that Dd isn’t here today, she goes off and I hear her telling her grandma and playing in the garden…?! Am I uptight or is this a bit cheeky? Her grandma will have had to lift her over our back garden fence onto our garden bench.
Similar happened a few weeks ago when I was in alone as Dd at a party and they drove outside the front of the house, calling DD’s name out of the window and asking if she could come in to play.
The grandma has my number, so could have just Whatsapped me if she wanted to see about a play date
I just found it to be a real invasion of privacy to just be at the back patio window looking in, out of nowhere

OP posts:
neonjumper · 20/10/2024 18:34

Just be direct ... why bring the dog into it ? You have one go to do this properly and directly

oakleaffy · 20/10/2024 18:32

FloofPaws · 20/10/2024 17:05

It's a bloody cheek!! Plus you have a dog so that's not good, if the dog was taken aback it may have gone for her, in DDogs own property - not good as your dog may have had to be PTS! Tell her to stop and just to WhatsApp - it's fucking awful feeling you can't do what you want to in your own home in case a
Kid hammmers on your back door 😵‍💫

Dogs can be unpredictable.
I looked after a friend's dog for the day, and she {the dog} went absolutely ballistic at someone coming up my next door neighbour's path.

This dog lives with two children, and is very good, very well trained, but at the end of the day, they are dogs, and no one can guarantee what a dog might do, as it's an animal.

Waterbaby41 · 20/10/2024 18:25

MightSoundCrassButItsFactual · 20/10/2024 16:53

I would call SS lol

Good grief - why???

ilovelamp82 · 20/10/2024 18:24

Let us know her response.

johnd2 · 20/10/2024 18:23

oakleaffy · 20/10/2024 18:21

But it MIGHT, you never know, then this child's face will be pressed against the glass , and before you know it, it'll be all around the neighbourhood courtesy of the gossipy gran. 😳''the people at number 11 were at it again!''

I don't think the OP would be the most embarrassed one in that situation😂

oakleaffy · 20/10/2024 18:21

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:53

I mean obviously just a boring day at home, but what if dd was out and me and Dh we’re screwing on the sofa or something? Never ever happens 😅but in theory?!

But it MIGHT, you never know, then this child's face will be pressed against the glass , and before you know it, it'll be all around the neighbourhood courtesy of the gossipy gran. 😳''the people at number 11 were at it again!''

Thelittlecatinatree · 20/10/2024 18:21

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 18:15

@MissScarletInTheBallroom Yes I’m going to WhatsApp her, think I might go with the dog thing

But will using the dog as an excuse stop her calling around to the front of the house, which you said she also does. Wouldn't it be better to tell her that in future she should message first and not call over unannounced as you might have plans?

oakleaffy · 20/10/2024 18:18

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:51

Why doesn’t she just WhatsApp me?!!

Jeez, stop that at once!

If this lazy grandmother can't be arsed to supervise her grandchild, she should PAY for a minder.

If the child was to get hurt on your premises, or your dog was to bite the child, anything could happen.

Absolutely nip this right in the bud.

anxioussister · 20/10/2024 18:17

Send a WhatsApp now saying ‘please can you send WhatsApp messages to make plans for play dates in advance. It’s nice to have a friend so close, but we still need to make sure social engagements work for our family and it’s difficult when she just shows up, thanks’

CrispieCake · 20/10/2024 18:16

Put some trellis up. Say you've been having problems with intruders in your garden and want to make sure it's secure.

BettyBardMacDonald · 20/10/2024 18:16

Are you going to address this? I'd feel like a prisoner in my own home.

"Hello X. I need you to make prior arrangements for Z and Y to play; please don't place her in our yard or on our premises without an agreed-upon play date. We prefer privacy in our yard and home unless otherwise arranged. Thank you."

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 18:15

@MissScarletInTheBallroom Yes I’m going to WhatsApp her, think I might go with the dog thing

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 20/10/2024 18:14

@whatsitallaboutthenhey Are you actually going to do anything about it though?

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 18:13

Grandma does reciprocate, but she’s a pain in the arse as tries to keep Dd there all day, which sounds good in some ways, but isn’t as I often have to take Dd out and will message saying I’m coming to pick her up in half an hour and grandma will reply that they’ve only just started drawing or are still playing, with a sad face 😢 it’s all just annoying!

OP posts:
whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 18:11

Childs mum is really nice and I don’t think she has any idea!

OP posts:
Spasisters · 20/10/2024 18:11

I remember your previous post about this woman. I think you need to send a WhatsApp message to her and say that it is unacceptable or she will just continue. It’s so rude 🤯 clearly a very entitled woman!

Londonrach1 · 20/10/2024 18:09

Yanbu. Cf. I wonder what the parents would think of her behaviour. I'd refuse dd playing with grand child if grandchild came over fence from now on. If they can't to front door that's different.

Cattery · 20/10/2024 18:09

So the parents have dropped the kid at her grandmother’s house and it’s up to you to entertain her? Piss takers the lot of them

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 20/10/2024 18:08

YourFunMember · 20/10/2024 18:04

WhatsApp her. Say best to message please rather than turn up as you have a busy schedule.

Or how about, "Please don't put your granddaughter over the wall into my garden when we haven't made a prior arrangement. This is a total invasion of my privacy."

StripeyDeckchair · 20/10/2024 18:08

I recommend planting pyracantha along the back fence.
It'll grow up fairly quickly & is as prickly as hell.

PolaroidPrincess · 20/10/2024 18:07

I used to have a problem with people coming over my back fence years ago. I planted some really thorny shrubs like Gooseberries and it stopped.

Stormyweatheroutthere · 20/10/2024 18:06

We solved all the Garden Intruders when we got a dpuppy when dc were young.
A rottweiler.. Best money ever spent....

Canonlythinkofthisone · 20/10/2024 18:05

Reminds me of the time I was sat breastfeeding my then 4 month old in the afternoon on my sofa. Neighbours behind have a habit of kicking balls into the garden (another thread 🤣) these 2 young lads came and knocked on, but given the baby attached to my boob and general undressedness I ignored the door, thinking I'd throw it over eventually. They had other ideas and shimmied up the fence, onto the shed and into my garden
I stood up abruptly thinking it was a burglar or something, dunno who was more terrified, me, or them seeing me standing there with the girls swinging free and they quickly climbed back the way theyd come. I'd like to stay it's stopped them, but it hasn't.
Grandmother is a CF. Just WhatsApp her and tell her straight. You don't need to give any "excuse"
Just tell her to stop it.

MermaidEyes · 20/10/2024 18:05

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:53

I mean obviously just a boring day at home, but what if dd was out and me and Dh we’re screwing on the sofa or something? Never ever happens 😅but in theory?!

Perhaps this is the way to go, she won't be coming back again!!

Fugliest · 20/10/2024 18:04

Blanketyre · 20/10/2024 18:01

I wouldn't give any reason. I would knock on the door, smile, and say please do not put your gd over my fence any more. If dd wants to play I will text you. Thank you. How are you?

This is the best approach. You said the other DC was being nasty so you didnt want her over - so if you are communicating a boundary now - make it a high/realistic one.

"If dd wants to play I will text you."

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