Cheeky grandma putting her granddaughter over our fence

🤣😂🤣😂

@whatsitallaboutthenhey I’d have a right wind up with this. Send her a message saying the child interrupted you “doing yourself”, and next time you need to be warned if a minor has been thrown into your garden while you might be “tending to yours privately”… can only imagine the humiliation Granny would feel then mwahahahaha

I would also use the dog as a reason to WhatsApp to say to check first.
We have dogs, all friendly and well used to children however all my children’s friends (now at an age that they play out) know not to just walk into our garden through the rear gate if we aren’t aware they are coming over, I’ve told them that

1. they may accidentally let one out onto the street
2. the dogs may get startled or get too excited and jump up and I don’t want them to get scratched/knocked over.

I would just send a polite message asking her to let you know if she is planning on sending her granddaughter over so you can make sure the dog is secured and that you can also confirm if she is home.

I don't think you need spiky plants or dogs just a clear message

Do not put child over my fence again, it's rude and intrusive

Spiky plants might put grandma off. I too grew up with a gate between our back fence and the neighbours. Different times sadly

Why all the angst?
WhatsApp “don’t ever do that again”

We've always had at least one Rottie. Amazing family dogs.

It might be a generational thing. Like knocking for your mates before the invent of mobile phones!? But there's no way she should have climbed into your garden! Just tell the nan, please just WhatsApp or text to arrange things in future. Please don't come into the garden and knock on the windows.
There's this one little kid who's friends with my next door neighbours daughter. When they're not in the kid just stands in the communal garden next to their house and shouts the little girls name, repeatedly and for what seems like about 10 minutes! But at least they're not actually on the other persons property.

How does the child get back over the fence out of curiosity? I think you need to tackle this head on "Hi x. Your granddaughter has appeared in our garden unexpectedly a few times now. Please put a stop to this. Play dates should be arranged by WhatsApp or speaking to me. I understand x wants to play with y but that is not always possible."

Put your dog over her fence!

I'm currently being terrorised by the child across the street too - he doesn't get the message and calls for my DD at least 3 times a day. Last week I had a job interview on Teams and she was at her dads so I resorted to a sign on the door saying "DD isn't here - DO NOT DISTURB" I fully understand how you feel!! I would be furious if a child was in my garden uninvited - especially with dogs around! (I have 3 and while they're cute and fluffy they make so much noise when anyone comes over)

I hope so. I do recall once showing up at their back window to the mum looking very shocked to see me there and told me the children and their father had gone away for the weekend. I was always slightly nervous that it would be the mum who saw me first and not the little girl or the dad. The mum was French, so maybe culturally it was a shock to her in the 90s as it would be to a lot of people here in 2024

You are attributing 2024 attitudes to past events. I’m sure no one thought there was anything wrong with your sudden appearances. It sounds a lovely arrangement to me.

I remember my grandparents allowing me to go through a hole in their neighbouring fence when I was little to see if the little girl next door wanted to play. Obviously as a kids we thought nothing of it and as far as I know, the parents never complained about it, but I’m sure they must have secretly felt the same way as you. Looking back at it I am absolutely mortified! So no, YANBU.

Unfortunately I live in a modern house with very high fences.
i would love to have more interaction with my neighbours but as I said. Everyone is too insular nowadays.

It’s obviously not acceptable but it sounds like the grandma comes from a background/area where kids just call for each other and hang out in each others’ houses all the time. I grew up in an area/time like that, nobody really made prior arrangements, back gates and doors were always open, neighbours all knew each other. Once, on a hot day, our neighbours’ 4 year old ran up the street, in our open front door, through the house, out into our back garden and back into his own house via the back lane. Completely stark naked!

You are missing the point that the grandma DID try and arrange this by putting rhe dd over the fence.

Don’t talk nonsense. Are you willing me your parents always arranged your play dates because I don’t believe it. At that time children were not supervised every minute of the day. Parents didn’t necessarily know where they were and whose house they had gone to play in. So long as they turned up for meals all was well. When my children were little (80s) I might have the whole street round at mine for most of the day in school holidays.

Whatsapp her and just tell her not to put her granddaughter over the fence anymore. In fact, I would tell her that due to the fact her granddaughter was mean to your child, she can't come over at all for the time being.

Maybe start doing that. Really go at. If the kid sees then grandma shouldn't stick the kid in ur garden.

Yes, that's not a bad approach - and suggest she might want to have a word about how that isn't polite behaviour.

Just text Grandma asking her if she was aware her GD had managed to get over the fence this morning? Say you were really shocked to see her as you hadn't arranged a play date. You could say you were worried about GD injuring herself so thing it's best she comes round the front if you have a play date arranged in future.

Not sure about that. It would be more likely to confirm that it was reasonable.
After all - this the way that we all used to live, certainly in working class communities. Kids and adults would always be popping by/in. The kids to ask "Is *** playing out?"; the adult neighbours to share some news. Many of us didn't even have a landline till the mid-60s. Lifting a young child over a garden fence would be unusual - but not definitively wrong.

Treat your new found garden person like a ball and refuse to give her back. Soon stop being thrown over the fence 🙂

It is an invasion of your privacy. I'd message and say your daughter isn't in but 'you would love to see the girls play together another time. Please message me to arrange rather than popping granddaughter over the fence'