Is this bonkers SIL behaviour or am I overthinking it?

It’s very odd. Personally I’d just say , the offer stands of you want a babysitter but not auditioning for a role I’ve done three times.

This is about your Sil not about you. First time just gently go with it then try and dilute it as she obviously will need you again.

It's bonkers and irrational. However her watching you change a nappy won't hurt anyone at all so don't argue!

Please can you update us so we know if you passed the assessment 😂

It's a bit crazy but people do get a bit like that with their first. I had a lot of anxiety with my first baby- the first time I left her with MIL to go to the cinema I picked the shortest film and told my OH it was the one I really wanted to see haha.

This.

I wouldn’t say anything but no way would I willingly try to prove my capabilities to someone who’s been a mum for 5 minutes! Insulting.

No. It is patronising and it would make me feel uncomfortable
I'd withdraw the offer.

I sympathise with you both here op.
I think new mother anxiety can be overwhelming and if she doesn’t have much support she’s just probably trying to make sure people can care for her baby like she can- she has no experience of trusting anyone with the baby yet.

I don’t think it’s anything personal at all- I was guilty of writing a huge list of what my baby ate, when, how often I changed her nappy, what her cries meant, what position to lie her in, what setting to put white noise on, how to check the room temps etc- we only went out for tea 😂 looking back now my god I was way too wary but at the time it ensured I could leave my baby for a few hours and not have to worry and think ‘oh did I mention this or that’

If I was you I’d go along with these little requests, in the grand scheme of things it’s nothing major and it ensures you’re one of the few people she will be able to trust. Hope this helps x

I don’t think that this is a you thing, I think it’s a new - mum anxiety thing. Many mums are very nervous to leave their child, and of course each child and each adult / carer is different. She knows her baby’s quirks and needs. Hopefully, she will relax in time as it’s probably best for her own wellbeing.

Thanks! Then I don't think i did anything wrong (about 9/10 years ago)

Nothing wrong with a very thin layer of cream (which sinks into the skin) on a bum that needs it, however cream shouldn't be routinely applied in a thick layer - it sticks to the inside of the nappy lining; preventing absorbancy so urine then irritates the skin.

It's been a while, but what is wrong with barrier cream?
Sudocrem was our friend...
Honest question

Everyone parents differently and with certain things there's no right or wrong, it's just what is best for a family. I wouldn't be offended, I would want to learn how she does those things knowing that she will feel better about leaving her baby with you and will have a better time at the movies. I'm sure as baby gets older, there will be fewer rules :)

she'll probably call you non-stop on her night out mind.

I ask myself if her partner is as equally uptight (or whether he just keeps quiet and panders to her for a quiet life). My DH would be telling me in no uncertain terms to get over myself if I tried stuff like this (and I would be glad of it)

It’s weird but if it gives her peace of mind I’d probably just go with it 🤷‍♀️ I remember being anxious leaving both of my boys for the first time (although not quite to that extent).

"No. I'm happy to watch you do it in case you have a specific technique, but I'm not going to take a practical exam in nappy changing, when I already do it several times a day"

I had a friend like this and I hope this is just new Mum anxiety from your SIL as honestly it wears thin - she once asked me to put sun cream on her son (same age as my son) as she was hosting his birthday party and had her hands full and as I was doing it she came running over and said I was doing it wrong?! Told her to do it her bloody self.

Glad to hear it’s not something recent that you’re dealing with. I’m glad it’s spoken about more now too…it’s a horrible experience.

She's probably just nervous about leaving the baby. If this little thing makes her feel better I'd just do it.

YABU

I wouldn’t take it personal. You would be surprised how many supposedly grown adults do not know how to do basic baby care, do not do it well, or have outdated views.

I’ve been a childcare provider so I just go with the flow and with what is asked unless it’s is obviously unsafe.

Oh you could have so much fun with this OP. Do a patronising running commentary as though you are presenting a tv show on how to change a nappy/give a bottle to someone who is both foreign and very thick. 🤣🤣🤣
sounds like she needs to get back to work 🤣🤣🤣

@andthat 20 years ago. I was young mum aged 20. Still the stigma around being a young mum despite the fact I had a partner, my own mortgaged house and good job. (Rarity of the age too)
it wasn’t spoke about as much as it is now. I’m glad it’s more open now so people can hopefully recognise and get help.

I’m really sorry you had that experience, it’s very isolating. I hope all is well for you now x

@andthat yeah she may need it pointed out that it’s not normal. I wish someone had done with me.
I did however supervise my husband making up the the formula milk. I was right. He was doing it wrong by adding extra.

There were other things irritating me such as people commenting on my baby. Even compliments such as she’s a Beautiful girl. I just needed to smile and walk away. I went home and cried instead?? 🤷‍♀️