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Original poster

To say it's miserable being a parent?

36 replies

hazdaz · 20/10/2024 08:53

I'm so exhausted, I feel miserable and down most days and I just don't feel like I have the strength to be a parent.

I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old and I'm just finding it really difficult at the minute. Barely getting any sleep and then getting up early every day is really taking its toll on me. My 8 month old is being really fussy at the minute as well because of his teeth, he's very clingy and needs constant entertainment but I just feel like I don't have the energy to do it. Yes, their Dad is around and helps as much as he can but even he's feeling it as well at the minute, we're both just constantly knackered and running on empty. My 5 year old is autistic as well so that's another challenge entirely.

People tell me I will miss these days when they're older but I honestly don't think I will. I just want to have my life back a bit and actually get some decent sleep.

Does anybody else feel like this? How do I embrace this time and stop wishing it away? Sad

OP posts:
BarbaraHoward · 20/10/2024 09:39

I often felt worse for a short daytime sleep too. But it's definitely not wasting the day, prioritising your own rest is important.

BarbaraHoward · 20/10/2024 09:39

I found the early years absolutely brutal OP. Mine are 6 and 4 now and it's a million times easier but obviously your DS having additional needs will complicate things.

Things will improve, especially once you're getting better sleep. Is there any chance the baby is clingy and sleeping badly overnight because she needs more naps? Mine were still on three at that age, but they're all so different.

You're in the trenches, it feels hard because it is. Flowers

Original poster
hazdaz · 20/10/2024 09:37

Sometimes I will nap in the morning when the baby is asleep and it helps, other times I wake up though and feel worse for napping, really groggy/irritable and as though I'm wasting the day. It's a difficult rut to get out of.

OP posts:
Original poster
hazdaz · 20/10/2024 09:34

Yes my 5 year old goes to school during the week, I'd say it's somewhat easier during the day with only one child at home but it isn't. My youngest will have one big nap during the day then really thats it until bedtime, sometimes he will have 30 mins here or there in the car/pram in the afternoon. When he's awake he is very clingy and needy and I'm forever entertaining or comforting him.

It's the early get ups every morning that I'm finding hardest, plus the baby is up multiple times during the night so it's just broken sleep constantly.

OP posts:
Overthebow · 20/10/2024 09:30

It’s hard, but isn’t your 5 year old in school during the week? We have a 4 year old and a baby and I’m finding it a lot easier now dds in school, it was really hard before September when she was only in nursery 3 days a week. We try and get out the house as much as possible at weekends and arrange play dates so dd has someone to play with that isn’t always us. DH and I have a lie in each at the weekend so we can catch up on sleep.

tuberole · 20/10/2024 09:26

I'm not going to tell you you're going to miss them because frankly I don't, they are hard days and were a slog for me, there's a reason we stopped at 2 and haven't looked back! But what I will say is it's temporary, I have teens now and whilst MN makes out teens are the hardest years that truly isn't my experience, parenting is a breeze by comparison now. You have lots of fun ahead of you, just got to get through this tough bit!

scandina · 20/10/2024 09:23

I know someone will pop up shortly with the usual advice about batch cooking etc but truthfully it's just an incredible slog. It does get better, so whatever you can to survive really.

readingismycardio · 20/10/2024 09:22

I only have an 8 months old and I'm EXHAUSTED. Kudos to you, OP, I think you are doing an AMAZING job!

Hedjwitch · 20/10/2024 09:21

I dont miss the early days one iota. Its much better when they are grown up and become independent and interesting. Meeting Dd2 for coffee today,ds sending great pics from his trip to the Bahamas,dd1 will be able to give me a lift tomorrow while my car is off the road. Its all good.

Stickseas0n · 20/10/2024 09:17

I have four, don't ask me why I carried on Grin we are currently on school holidays, my head is fried. Constant fighting, someone gets hurt, they are bored but don't want to do anything, of course the weather is rubbish. In between trying to work ft. I'm so run down, my iron level is in the pits anyway but I'm a new level of exhausted.
And no I do not miss the early days one jot. I can't wait for them all to grow up but I'll probably get flamed for admitting that

RomeoRivers · 20/10/2024 09:11

5yo will be at school 5 days a week, so that just leaves the 8 month old.

They should be napping twice a day, so you could use that time to catch up on sleep.

Ask your DH to take a day’s AL so he can have baby for the day, while you take some time out.

Sleep train baby if bedtimes are difficult.

Sign up to baby classes to get you out of the house and interacting with other parents.

Put baby in nursery 1 afternoon a week or go back to work.

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