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To think gentle parenting is actually permissive

257 replies

theedgeoftheforest · 19/10/2024 17:04

Even though those who favour it are very insistent it isn’t - well, it is, isn’t it?

Its all ‘they have no impulse control’ (they do) ‘you’re expecting too much’ (you’re not) ‘the teachers reward and sanction, complain to the school’ (nonsense.)

I know post after post will insist that gentle parenting does have boundaries and to be fair I see gentle parents talk a lot about boundaries but they don’t seem to have a clue how to implement them and their kids run rings round them.

OP posts:
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theedgeoftheforest · 19/10/2024 17:18

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/10/2024 17:09

I know post after post will insist that gentle parenting does have boundaries

Because it does. And this thread will go the same way as all the others. Why not just read one of the hundreds?

Everyone judging everyone else instead of just working to be the best parents we can be to the children we have. Mine is gently parented with firm boundaries and now her teachers don't know she was diagnosed with ADHD unless I tell them. Because gentle parenting helped her achieve as highly as she could, and beat the demand avoidance and rejection sensitivity that plagues children with ADHD who are parented traditionally. Like I was.

Goady, and not very originally so.

A goady thread isn’t one that disagrees with you.

I used to favour gentle parenting and have come to realise it’s nonsense. I’ve read thousands of threads on here and Facebook about it. I’ve seen the phrase ‘he / she has no impulse control’ more often than I’ve had hot dinners. And I’ve seen so many posts where children are forced into compliance (yay, I held a boundary) but that stops working when they are past a certain point and then what?

OP posts:
Simonjt · 19/10/2024 17:14

No, but as you appear to be a fantasist, this thread is pointless.

Magixx · 19/10/2024 17:14

No gentle parenting and permissive parenting are different types of parenting. Unfortunately some people have these styles confused.

Patienceinshortsupply · 19/10/2024 17:11

Kids being raised this way are never going to cope in life when they're told No as you often are as adults. They're being set up to fail by the very people who are supposed to nurture them.

I call it lazy parenting. Kids don't need friends, they'll make those on their own. They need guidance, boundaries and to learn how to cope when things don't go your way. Said as a parent of a child with SEN.

republicofjam · 19/10/2024 17:11

You are confusing gentle parenting with lazy parenting.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/10/2024 17:09

I know post after post will insist that gentle parenting does have boundaries

Because it does. And this thread will go the same way as all the others. Why not just read one of the hundreds?

Everyone judging everyone else instead of just working to be the best parents we can be to the children we have. Mine is gently parented with firm boundaries and now her teachers don't know she was diagnosed with ADHD unless I tell them. Because gentle parenting helped her achieve as highly as she could, and beat the demand avoidance and rejection sensitivity that plagues children with ADHD who are parented traditionally. Like I was.

Goady, and not very originally so.

Devilsmommy · 19/10/2024 17:08

Completely agree with you. The children who are parented in this way are always the ones running amok and the parents are sitting there saying oh they're just being kids. No, they're being little shits and you haven't got the balls to tell them off.

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