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AIBU?

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To envy women who found good male partners?

156 replies

nanomint · 19/10/2024 17:02

I know not every woman who is married has a good relationship and that its definitely better to be single than in a bad relationship or marriage but there are women with good men and good marriages where they are supported, looked after or at least have the burden of life and all that comes with that shared.

Life just feels so hard on my own, I've been badly let down by men and not had good experiences on the dating apps getting used and ghosted. I do have friends but most are married and have families. Feel like I am aging rapidly and I'll never be loved.

I'm not a bad person and I know I have a lot to offer but I'm not beautiful and it feels like that is all that counts to most men. Why is it some women get it all and others lose out? Sorry ignore me, its just facing another Saturday night alone and fed up with it all.

OP posts:
rockingbird · 19/10/2024 17:37

My jigsaw fitted perfectly or so I thought until my H started working overseas and threw a grande in the family unit. I'm now very sceptical of anyone claiming to have that perfect jigsaw piece partner after what I've been through. Can you tell I'm a tad angry today 😆

nanomint · 19/10/2024 17:36

@Dotjones Well I'm not suggesting I want to actually run off with any other woman's husband. I just envy what they have and wish I could have it for myself. I do think that some men are "good partners" they are securely attached, honest and conscientious, they had good role models in their parents and inherited relationship skills. Men like that are more likely to be good partners and often more relationship minded.

OP posts:
Eekomouse · 19/10/2024 17:35

I have a wonderful husband and a great marriage but I wouldn’t describe myself as beautiful. I’m just very very lucky. My relationship still needs work though, no relationship is perfect.

nanomint · 19/10/2024 17:33

@Tink3rbell30 I do see what you are saying and yes I say that too myself all the time as well that it might look good but women could be putting up with cheating and abuse but that certainly not true in every case and while its comforting to think that I know that there are many women who are happy and loved and its those women I envy.

OP posts:
Dotjones · 19/10/2024 17:32

"Good partners" are a myth, objectively-speaking. Happy relationships are ones where both partners are compatible. Think of it like two jigsaw pieces, they are not identical and only fit together one way. If both pieces are right for each other they work as a unit. If they're not, they won't be a good fit. You could try to force them into place but the result won't look very good and may cause permanent damage to one or both pieces.

Tink3rbell30 · 19/10/2024 17:26

I'm single too and don't see it changing. I don't mind though as I like my own space and the peace. I don't envy anyone in relationships though, we only see them on the surface and chances are it's not as rosy as it looks. Lying, cheating, control etc is rife.

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