Marrying a woman behind my parents back

MOVE OUT FIRST

Yes I think it is unreasonable tbf. It seems dishonest . I would imagine it is quite difficult to live with them and not feel like you're lying constantly about what you're doing, where you're going etc. plus they are covering some of your expenses so you can save. It feels a huge slap in the face to be deceived. If they can't handle your news then I think you're right to step away even if that means your financial planning re housing and future take a bit of a hit. At least you'll feel more free and independent. Best of luck .

This in a nutshell shows why pride etc is needed for lgbg people and that we need to be getting liberal imans and there are some to be persuading that it's OK to be lgbt

You are being unreasonable hiding the marriage. If they, or anyone else, don't agree with it then that's their problem, we all make our own choices in life. However, you are also coming across as immature. Spending time together and going on holiday every now and then is a million miles away from living together under the same roof.
Live together first and let the dust settle.

It was her idea to marry first, I would have happily got my own place then married her and moved in straight away but she wants me to be married to her sooner and me and her have both discussed this at length and she is ok with waiting till me and her have our own place together

I’ve missed why she wants to get married immediately and what changed your mind about getting your own place first

Why are people saying she's immature let me tell u I am white i see the Muslim community around here and man alive the family dynamics I could imagine uts bloody hard turning your back on that. The thing is to Asian families tend to baby their kids as well the lads round here have shit load of cash for cars as they all live at home and pay not much for that not like our culture which many times wants shot of family

I think it's maybe something you would regret doing. They'll find out eventually and you'll need to deal with that then, the being married and lying. You would be best telling them now. You've nothing to be ashamed of or hide. Be honest with them so you can be free of guilt to enjoy your day.
If you don't feel like you can do this just now maybe wait a little while , perhaps another 6 months or so until you feel more able to.
I hope you have a fabulous wedding and long and happy marriage with it comes.

You don't seem to have the slightest idea of what marriage is and what is entails, legally. Save for your own house, buy it, and see how the relationship pans out in a few years.

Yes, you would be unreasonable going behind their back. That would be selfish and deceitful, and highlights how immature you sound. Move out before you make a commitment to anyone.

I don’t see why other people think me and my wife to be should disregard our own morals and values just because we are a same sex couple

Nobody is expecting you to do that. They’re trying to help you. Get your own place and move into it by yourself. Tell your parents. Plan your wedding. Have your partner move in straight after your wedding. Why is this so difficult? That way, you can’t be chucked out, your parents have a chance to get used to it and you’re not sacrificing any of your morals or values.

Have you considered that you are mistaking the excitement of finding someone attractive sexually and romantically with the hard slog of grown up life long commitment.

I guess all cultures have their entitled and immature members. Have you discussed this with your siblings?

Ok I accept you are not from a British culture prob Muslim. Now you say uiur family won't accept it but u gotta tell them unless you fear for your life? There are charities i live in dewsbury near bradford and if they force you to marry a man that is illegal is that your fear? Because what i am wondering regardless whether u marry her why not tell them. Then they get to decide how they process it it may be that they actually come back and be OK. Are you worried that they chuck you out? If they do then you would have to turn your back on ur culture that dont want uou any way.
Secondly would they say tell you yo marry a gay Muslim man to look like normal couple but you both have your partners say live with both of u would that work? I have heard of that before.

I hope the posters accusing you of mooching donate generously to LGBTQ+ youth homelessness charities.

Your parents may well relent if you tell them. It depends whether they love you more than their principles. Get your ducks in a row for moving out but I would then tell them what you’re planning. Lying never ends well. They will then either behave how you expect them to or when faced with the choice of never seeing you again they may actually choose you!

You realise that if you are married before buying a house, that will affect the mortgage paperwork/borrowing amounts etc, and that obviously the house will be marital property even if purchased just in your name?

In your plan where you stay living with your parents and pretending you are unmarried in this period, be aware that if they want to oversee your house purchase this will out you both.

Keeping a wedding hidden while living with your parents and keeping a wife hidden so you have comforts to go back to if the marriage doesn’t work is disrespectful to all parties (including yourself) regardless of religion or culture

Well you're clearly aiming to break other cultural/religious mores so what's the difference?

And you're asking mostly western women for their opinion!

Tell them the truth, get married, and move out. 🙂

If you’re in the U.K. it doesn’t matter what your culture is, you’d be marrying and divorcing according to British laws and you don’t get to choose how finances would be settled and split.

but she wanted to marry me first before all of this so I respected her wishes enough to do this.

Oh ok, a different story now. How strange.

And you have no concerns that this house you will buy will be a joint marital asset with a person you've never lived with, of whom your family are not even aware of the existence, and have never lived with or spent more sustained time with than a few days of holiday?

Like I said: move out, live independently, grow up, stand up to your parents' bigotry and live an authentic life, and also read up about marriage and what it actually means in law. Maybe after a few years you'll be mature enough to contemplate it but it is not what you need to be focusing on right now with this level of immaturity.