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AIBU?

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Son’s gf in the house when we are out

27 replies

LostFrog · 19/10/2024 13:15

Ds (17) has been with gf for about 7 months now. She stayed at ours last night, and today dh was taking ds to a Uni open day and the plan was for them to leave at about 10:30. At about 10:15 ds came down and was making a sandwich for her - when dh said it was nearly time to leave and there wasn’t really time, he said she was staying here until she went to work - bearing in mind that she lives less than 5 mins walk away and wasn’t due at work for 2.5 hours, we were a bit wtf?! When ds was leaving he then said her work had been cancelled and she would go home when she had eaten. After an hour or so I ended up going in and offering her a lift home, as I couldn’t think how else to ask her to leave - it was really awkward and I’m really cross with ds for putting me in that position, but he cannot seem to see anything wrong in it. AIBU? Is this usual? She is not unwelcome here but she is my son’s guest not mine, and if he’s not here I don’t want her to be, at least not at this stage in their relationship.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 19/10/2024 13:34

This is a double boundary situation.

It's important he learns he doesn't have to say yes when she asks a favour or anything, it's important he also learns what your boundaries are and that it's not ok to leave his guests there when he leaves.

Wherehasallthetimegone · 19/10/2024 13:33

I would feel the same OP.
As you say she is his guest and not yours. You should be allowed to relax in your own home .
I think it's really cheeky of her to expect to be in the house when he is not there and to expect to eat your food when she has basically invited her self. I think your DS should show you some respect. He should have been asking you if it was alright for her to stay before telling her she could.
I think you need to talk to him about respect when it comes to giving other people carte blanche to stay in your house.

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