To wonder why more men don’t get the snip?

Indeed and it would basically mean that you were no longer compatible as a married couple so divorce and 50/50 could well be on the cards.

Perhaps with so many failing marriages he wouldn't want the snip in case a future partner wanted children.

It's not blackmail for a woman to refuse to risk sex with a fertile man. Everyone is allowed their own sexual boundaries.

"So basically snip or no sex."

To be honest the no sex bit wouldn't bother me too much. I'm kind of over it these days.

The ultimatum/attempted blackmail to try and force me into a medical procedure would be a deal breaker, though. I'd consider that to be abusive / coercive control, so I'd probably walk and go 50/50 custody.

"So basically snip or no sex."

To be honest the no sex bit wouldn't bother me too much. I'm kind of over it these days.

The ultimatum/attempted blackmail to try and force me into a medical procedure would be a deal breaker, though. I'd consider that to be abusive / coercive control, so I'd probably walk and go 50/50 custody.

All these comments about men not wanting it done because they want to keep their options open or might want a second family!

This is EXACTLY why, if I ever marry, I'd want him to get the snip: To protect any children we might have, in the event of a split/divorce, from unwanted half siblings to some random new woman who is unrelated to my child. I would also consider getting steralised after a split as I also wouldn't dream of having a second family with a new partner at my child's emotional and mental expense. So many separated parents do though and don't seem to consider their existing children- drives me mad!

Just use condom & diaphragm? Male uses condoms & female uses diaphragm. That’s a fail safe as a vasectomy. Why would you want to risk it? Even if it’s one in a 500 or 1000. Why would you want to risk your partner being in pain or incontinent when there is a ready made solution that’s as near 0% as you can get? Seriously, why??

When did I (or anyone?) suggest all men were bastards? Funny, because if you read my posts you'll find a lot of them talk about how glad I am DH is a good man. I love him very much.

I just don't have time for selfish babies whimpering about a bit of bruising when I've been sliced from vagina to anus. 🤷‍♀️

You just have an agenda, and you know it. I've seen your posts around, and you think you're some voice of truth.

And that's the last post you're getting from me now, once and for all. I don't have time for going in circles with men who know full well they're being provocative. Have a delightful day.

Just use condom & diaphragm? Male uses condoms & female uses diaphragm. That’s a fail safe as a vasectomy. Why would you want to risk it? Even if it’s one in a 500 or 1000. Why would you want to risk your partner being in pain or incontinent when there is a ready made solution that’s as near 0% as you can get? Seriously, why??

I 100% do, and I can't think of any men who would want to see their partner suffer; the onus has been on women for too long, and just because that's how it's always been doesn't mean that is how it should be. I was just giving an insight and questioning some opinions given here, i should be able to do so in a constructive manner, without being verbally attacked. I think the first thing I said was, 'I feel whatever I say in this debate, I'll be wrong!' and the very first reply was skewed straight away, straight on cue.

Some people won't listen to anything if it doesn't fit their narrative, and a lot of the time on here, it's all men are bastards.

@GiddyRobin I don't think i ever said i wouldn't get it done, in fact it's been a topic of choice the last couple of days, hence me taking a look at this thread. All i did was share an opinion and for that i must be a terrible person. I'll say again re read what I've written, because I'm all in favour of having it done, but for a lot of men the risks sound horrible, i dont ever remember comparing them to anything women go through or do go through. all that has been done by women.

I 100% do, and I can't think of any men who would want to see their partner suffer; the onus has been on women for too long, and just because that's how it's always been doesn't mean that is how it should be. I was just giving an insight and questioning some opinions given here, i should be able to do so in a constructive manner, without being verbally attacked. I think the first thing I said was, 'I feel whatever I say in this debate, I'll be wrong!' and the very first reply was skewed straight away, straight on cue.

Some people won't listen to anything if it doesn't fit their narrative, and a lot of the time on here, it's all men are bastards.

@GiddyRobin I don't think i ever said i wouldn't get it done, in fact it's been a topic of choice the last couple of days, hence me taking a look at this thread. All i did was share an opinion and for that i must be a terrible person. I'll say again re read what I've written, because I'm all in favour of having it done, but for a lot of men the risks sound horrible, i dont ever remember comparing them to anything women go through or do go through. all that has been done by women.

Considering he thinks the possibility of an achy vagina would be enough to put women off operations, I doubt he does see the hypocrisy. He clearly doesn't even consider what women's bodies go through if he's using that as his excuse to not get the snip.

Hence I don't think there's any point in even speaking to him. Maybe mature in body, but perhaps not in thought.

Do you not recognise the hypocrisy though? You/men don't want to take the small risk, but you/men happily let women do so?
You said there are options when a condom splits for example - that's you passing the risk to your partner.
Fine, if those are the choices a couple makes, if they're both happy, great. Not my business. But I do think men should be exploring why they are happy to pass along risks that they themselves won't take. It's not some great coincidence that women are mostly happy to do so, and men aren't. We are not biologically predisposed to love family planning measures. Do what you (not you, you, general you) want, but dig deep and really think about why you think what you think and do what you do.

You know, i did just go back and re read and i missed your reply about the issues you had and I'm sorry for that and understand your strong feelings on the issue. but shitty comments above do no good.

'other contraceptive options when you've been told they cause many and various issues or aren't effective.' but when someone says that a vasectomy is not always plain sailing and has it's own share of issues it's brushed under the carpet and compared to the shit women have to deal with, I dont remember comparing the two or saying one was worse than the other, in fact i said women do get the shitty end of the stick when it comes to this side of things.

I've said men should play a part and if you're done having kids it's a pretty compelling solution. But yes, I will call out bitchy comments for no good reason.

3 edits - maybe I'm not the only one who should re-read what I've written.

You know, i did just go back and re read and i missed your reply about the issues you had and I'm sorry for that and understand your strong feelings on the issue. but shitty comments above do no good.

'other contraceptive options when you've been told they cause many and various issues or aren't effective.' but when someone says that a vasectomy is not always plain sailing and has it's own share of issues it's brushed under the carpet and compared to the shit women have to deal with, I dont remember comparing the two or saying one was worse than the other, in fact i said women do get the shitty end of the stick when it comes to this side of things.

I've said men should play a part and if you're done having kids it's a pretty compelling solution. But yes, I will call out bitchy comments for no good reason.

3 edits - maybe I'm not the only one who should re-read what I've written.

I've literally repeated the same issues time and again, and they fly so far over your head they're a dust speck on the horizon.

Maybe go back, read properly. Use your big brain. All you've done is offered other contraceptive options when you've been told they cause many and various issues or aren't effective.

If you're trying to make another point, maybe learn to use your words properly. If not, all I can assume is you think you're some kind of caped crusader in a land of stupid and bitchy women.

Which is laughable, frankly. You sound like Dave down the pub. I also didn't say you should leave or even suggest it. I assume comprehension skills aren't your strong point?

Anyway. I'm bored, as I said. Have a nice shot of whiskey to applaud yourself, your job here is done. You showed us pesky girlies!

Agree completely.

One person’s decision about what to do with their body is not ammunition for what another person should do with theirs – that’s a vile stance imo.

This thread is serving as a museum piece as to just how much MN hates men.

I'm not trying to explan anything, but a lot of women on here are coming across as it's the only solution,

I'd love to hear what you beleive my opinion is on the issue or how i think? beacuae you've clearly not read anything i've written. If you think anything i've written on here is stupid you should take a long hard look at your own levels of stupid.

I'll stay as long as i like, open fourm.

Yawn.

We've heard it all before from multiple men, that's why. It's boring. You're trying to explain basic contraception to women who've had more involvement in it and its issues than you've had hot dinners.

You have been given facts. You just keep churning out nonsense and more things for women to worry about. And there are plenty of men who don't think like you - I'm married to one. Thank fuck.

Tell you what, love. Use your time on MN to learn. Maybe stop saying stupid things and then you won't get snarky answers.

Now run along. You must be busy, yes?

what pride and joy exactly? this is why people dont stick around here or have half a dozen user names, shitty comment from people who have nothing constructive to add.

I've not had it done, because at the moment, it's a non-issue in my house, I was speaking about it yesterday which made me look into this thread.

You're comparing apples and oranges, most people who seem to have had it done are after the fact; that is like closing the stable door once the horse has bolted.

Also, I'm not here to be the defender of men; I'm here to throw a spanner in the works and offer an opinion of a man. or mansplain -thats another good one i get on here if we happen to disagree, it can't just be that, a difference of opinions. I have to be in some insulated. Sometimes my opinion is not welcome, and it turns into childish women having to make bitchy comments to bolster their argument. Hit me with facts if we disagree, and make me see it from the other side.

I never said it should just be on women, i agree if you're done having kids it's a very good route to go down, but just because it works for one doesn't mean it works for another, if a man doesn't want it done, why should you have an opinion any further than that, agian if the tables were turned and a group of men were going on about what a woman should or shouldnt do he'd not make it to bed time.