To wonder why more men don’t get the snip?

My ex was really keen. He wanted to stop using condoms. Fine. Got a leaflet then bottled out🙄

Exactly - it's way more of an operation!
And these are women suggesting their male partner has the operation after they have done the work of carrying and birthing babies for them.
It seems only fair the man then steps up and does his part.

And for people talking about the risk of a vasectomy - what about the numerous risks involved in pregnancy?? Few of us emerge unscathed from that!

Not available on the NHS where we live.

We can afford it privately, but I can imagine for a lot of people it's money that they'd rather not spend if there's free contraception available for the woman.

I think it depends on who it is who doesn't want another child. I felt really strongly that I didn't want another child, whereas my husband would have been happy to have had another. Under those circumstances, I felt the onus was on me to use contraception and I would never have asked him to have a vasectomy.

And it's significantly less reliable, contraception-wise, than vasectomy, and you're way less likely to be given it on the NHS. In fact, virtually the only time the NHS will do it is for women who have had multiple Csections where another pregnancy has the potential to be risky.

Vasectomy instead is a no brainer from a medical perspective.

My DH won't have the snip, so we use condoms as I don't like other birth control.

The bit that baffles me is he had a circumcision as an adult for medical reasons so the snip would be a doddle compared to that.

He 100% doesn't want any more kids, I wouldn't either. So like everything in our life the heavy lifting would land to me getting an abortion.

Sterilisation is a bigger op than a vasectomy. It also takes longer to recover - days rather than hours.

I would be willing to bet the number of women being sterilised is higher than the number of men getting vasectomies

This is the reason for many men who refuse to consider the op I think.

I think deep down they want to keep their options open in case they meet someone else.

DH’s ex made him get the snip after she was done. Then immediately dumped him as the excitement of the risk factor was gone. Went on to have more kids with someone else. DH’s vasectomy turned out to be irreversible and permanently disabling. FML.

😮
She's been through 3 pregnancies and births.
Perhaps her partner could step up this time!

I guess they don’t want to, and exercising a right to choose.

Which is absolutely fine, as long as they don’t pressure their female partners to put hormones into their bodies etc instead.

If they’re willing to use condoms , which are actually very reliable birth control, then it’s totally fine, I think.

Or abstinence I guess, but their partners might not like that either!

I don't need one due to fertility issues, but I wouldn't get one due to the risks of complications.

I had a testicular infection as a teenager and the pain was horrific. If there is any risk of ongoing testicular pain, for the rest of my life, then there's zero chance of me having the procedure. There's also a risk of incontinence and impotence.

I think it's a bit rich for people to claim that somebody is 'selfish' for refusing to get a vasectomy. If you're that bothered, get yourself sterilised, abstain from sex or use condoms (or another form of contraception). Demanding/guilt-tripping a partner into having a procedure that could result in very negative outcomes is extremely shitty and selfish behaviour.

As for the doctors that warn/question men about the potential implications of their current relationships breaking down, I think they're doing their jobs properly and would be negligent not to discuss those possibilities.

£2,000 for a private one here which is actually less than I thought, so might float the idea with DH as he still has at least a year to wait most likely on NHS where we are.

All of the men I know in our friends and family (middle aged couples) have had it done. I think it’s the dutiful thing. I actually lose respect when women at work say their husbands ‘refuse’. Ugh what kind of man wouldn’t have a simple day procedure for his wife’s sake? A shit one.

Because they listen to the things that can go wrong. Completely forgetting that women have side effects from birth control/ pregnancy etc. But we are women so just have to suck it up.
But after years of miscarriages and finally two children my DH booked his appointment while on paternity leave.

Well you can flip it and say why don’t women get sterilised? They don’t because they simply don’t want to. Luckily both men and women can choose what they do with their body

My DH had a vasectomy when he was 40. He did this completely willingly as he felt after me going through 3 pregnancies & births it was time he stepped up!

That was nearly 30 years ago and it's been wonderful never having to think about contraception again

If men were forced to pay for the children they helped create they might be more inclined to.

I say this having read many threads where absent fathers don't and also some threads where present fathers don't contribute fairly.

They don't, because they don't want to.

My ex still insists I forced him into having one. I didn't. I simply came off contraception as it gave me hell, and stopped have penetrative sex. I make my choices sir, and you make yours 🤷🏾‍♀️.
He says he'd never have done it if I hadn't forced him.

Pretty obvious really. The vast majority of men are inherently selfish and thoughtless, and having an unwanted baby is not something many men care about. That's why many of them don't use condoms - even when shagging a relatively strange woman/on a one sight stand. They are not stuck with the baby. So they often have very little reason to have a vasectomy.

Also, men aren't going to butcher themselves - most of them anyway - or be in a position where they're not fertile anymore. Their fertility is extremely important to them. I have known several men who couldn't produce fertile sperm and create a baby, and it devastated them - because they felt useless and like less of a man. They're not either one of course, but they felt this. So most men are not going to have one of the things about them that makes them feel more masculine/more of a man, taken away from them.

Mine had it and was fine and still is 15 years later

I had a tough couple of pregnancies and god bless him he stepped up on this one

i mentioned it to my gp at the time during my well woman chat and she was quite rude about it saying ‘what if he wants a second family’ ffs. I bet she’s the type to hold back hrt too 🙄

How much are we talking privately?? It's only around €700 in Ireland, and around here you can practically choose your date and time. €700 is a fraction of what I've paid for my pill prescriptions over the years... People with a medical card can probably get it done for free though. No idea of the wait if waiting for HSE though.

His body his choice and any procedure carries risks.

Likewise for women.

I nearly died from a DVT due to taking the pill and have had a lifetime of consequences as a result.

We don’t want kids. I have asked DP to get one as both mid forties. He won’t as he read somewhere and his mates told him it affects his sensitivity whilst having sex and may feel numb and causes issues. No amount of education can change his mind. He doesn’t want sex to change.

can’t force him as his body so I am staying on the pill. It’s very annoying to be the sensible one but we both hate condoms and don’t want kids.