Husbands 'emotions'

This is pretty much how babies behave, isn't it? Anger and displeasure at the audacity of becoming hungry/tired/uncomfortable. He's throwing tantrums like a baby

LTB. He has an anger management issue and trust me, I was your daughter in this scenario and it will^^ escalate. It's only a matter of time.

He's already making your lives miserable. Break free, OP.

Incapable man. Women questions it. Man blames her.

you need to break this cycle (and LTB) before your children think it’s normal.

OP, this is who he is and always has been.
An angry man.
There will always be something to annoy him, it'swho he is.
Unfortunately you have chosen to bring a child into this toxic dynamic.

Poor little thing. He is destroying her childhood.
Clearly you neither want to hear this or accept it, but that poor child will 100% pay the enormous price of his behaviour and your choices.

Talk to Women's aid.
Because he is abusive and he is emotionally abusing you both.
You may refused to accept that, but that poor child will battle a lifetime of anxiety and depression because of this.
She may make poor life choices too because she has been reared in a profoundly unsafe environment.

For goodness sake sort out your contraception so that you do not inflict him on another innocent child.

Angry men are the worst.
The children of angry man often go LC/NC as soon as they can and they sometimes judge their mothers very harshly for allowing them to be so damaged by them.
Just a heads up.

You both deserve so much better than him and this.

Ignore the snarky poster who thinks you have to put up with this because you have in the past. There have been several good articles in the Guardian about childhood trauma and restricted emotion. Especially fear of happiness or of relaxation. If you love him try to get him help. He is just so close to being able to be happy. Something blocks him. If he can work on himself the life he saves could be his own.

Your answer was essentially 'you shouldn't have married him if this bothers you and you should never try to change anyone'.
She's perfectly entitled to think that's not actually going to help.

OP absolutely you can change this. Is there some underlying issue that's causing constant low-level irritation?

I also think some men don't realise how physically loud/dominating they can seem (especially to children and dogs) when they're doing what to them seems like actions within the 'normal range' - my DH sometimes raises his voice and it crosses the threshold to sounding quite livid when he's not (usually being a bit sarcastic / "I don't believe it!" rather than aggressive). I've addressed this with him and he hadn't realised how shouty he was.

if you don’t want an answer don’t ask. Your desire to ask for advice and then not like what you are given isn’t helpful either.

If anything I think thete is less tolernce for angry/irrational/negative women. Certainly not from their children and spouses. Such women are seen as NPD, harpies, horrors rather than seen as just overburdened innocents.

Of course they would.

If possible and reasonable you deal directly and constructively with what is making you angry, you find an outlet to take the pressure off (eg exercise or cleaning) and you find a way of calming yourself (eg a shower or 5 minutes with a book). You don't scatter that angry energy randomly at people around you.

He seems to think it's ok for you, your DD and your dogs to suffer so that he can experience his 'emotions'. It's not ok.

I wonder if the responses on here would have been the same if the sexes had been reversed.

@Wrongemote I would hazard a guess that he believes nothing can be done/he can't change/he doesn't want to go 'there'?

Missed shouting at dogs....

Suppressed anger is equally toxic though. There's more and more work on this demonstrating links to disease, particularly in later life. Sounds like he could benefit from therapy, either way

When my DH was going through a particularly stressful period in his life, he could get angry and take it out on his nearest and dearest, i.e. me (not physically I hasten to add). Eventually I'd had enough and in my quietest (scariest) voice would shut him down with "do NOT speak to me like that" and/or "this is NOT my fault".

Because I would normally take myself away from the scene (which drove him nuts), when I did respond it would shock him out of his angry fog.

It would be great to have an open conversation where you both listen to each other. It's very important that he takes on board that he's his daughter's role model for relationships and he doesn't want her with an angry man.

That there is a way forward with the right help he can better manage his emotions. It's never too late to change.

You can’t tell someone what their emotions should look and sound like. Although there may be some underlying issues if he’s expressing himself differently to how he has in the past.

Your poor dogs and kid. Your daughter is being taught to appease an angry man. That this is normal, something to aspire to. Look up what cortisol does to a child.

I love that the bottom line is “he shouldn’t shout at the dogs.” Because I suppose its fine to stomp around and shout at inanimate objects like wife and children.

Read “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.” Also get a chart that displays emotions and work with him (if he is capable) to recognize and anticipate his various emotional states. He can learn different responses to sadness/hunger/fear. He hasn’t yet but he can learn.

Teach him the acronym HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? These are the internal cues that he self soothes with angry outbursts.

He's making his anger, stomping around & shouting YOUR fault.
I don't think that is reasonable

He's setting a bad example to your child/ren in only being able to express his emotions in a negative way that impacts the entire household.
His behaviour is unhealthy, immature, sets a poor example & makes him difficult to live with.

He needs to do some work on himself & learn to communicate & express himself like an adult

It would also give me the serious ick & put me off any intimate contact with him.

As a PP said, as long as it doesn't affect anyone else

It’s not on to shout at the dogs. He shouldn’t have dogs if this is what he does.

He’s an adult and he needs to grow up.