To think DH is too sentimental?

complete little mimes of his mum at the cash machine, thinking of him whilst she gets the money out.
His initial reaction was bad enough, this miming business would have sent me over the edge. I couldn't take that nonsense seriously at all.

I totally understand him, I’m the same.

OP, it really is all about him.🙄

You need to push back hard.
Being chewed up over such a normal honest mistake is emotionally abusive and you write not the first time.

He sounds extremely tedious.
Funny how these "sensitive" people often have so little sensitivity to others.

I think YOU need to hold on to your upset and think long and hard about your relationship.

Being made to cry is emotionally abusive and you should not be accepting this.

Wow, this reminds me of my first husband.

He bought me a handbag for Christmas and was devastated when I gave it to a charity shop, two years later.

His reasoning was that I should treasure this bag because he gave it to me.

My reasoning was that I don't like clutter and was never going to use the bag again.

We ended up getting divorced.

He is now a hoarder. Seriously. He never throws anything away.

I can understand his original plan for the money, but unless it was brand new sequentially numbered banknotes I can't really understand why it still matters given that a mistake was made and you've apologised. I think most - even very sentimental - people would just move on, maybe deciding to replace the exact amount of cash so as to go shopping with the envelope as planned.

The fact that this is a pattern of sentimentality and perhaps hoarding is more of a worry though, and I think it probably has to have a deep-seated reason. I would want to try and help him unpack that before it happens again in relation to something that actually matters.

Me too! 😹
I don't think so. He has a normal relationship with his parents. He just gets very weird about so many objects - old TVs, bath towels, you name it. If it was unusual for his parents to give him something and he wanted to keep the cash forever I would maybe understand, but I just find his reaction odd and suffocating.
I told you - hoarder or hoarder in the making

He sounds insufferable. It’s a completely over the top reaction. And now he’s punishing you by going on about it in a ridiculous way (miming fgs) to the point he’s made you cry. Not very sentimental about your feelings is he.

I kind of see that. I got £25 from a relative and DH spent it on petrol.
I was disappointed because I probably won't bother to get that money out to spend on me now

But that’s not his issue. The OP said she’d give him the money back, but that’s not good enough for him because wants to spend those particular notes.
YANBU OP.

But it doesn't sound like that's the issue - it sounds like they have enough money for him to just use that amount from their bank account.

I’m not really aligned with fhe answers. Potentially money is tight if your parents give you money , and I’d not dream of spending my husbands birthday money on a haircut for myself. I’d feel it was thoughtless. As much as I agree it’s just cash and it can be replaced, it was his birthday money, that he wanted to go and spend on himself for his treat.

Certainly odd, but I get it and think it is rather sweet.

Saving the money separately to buy something special isn’t unreasonable. It’s nicer than sticking it in the bank and it just being absorbed and contributing to the council tax DD or whatever.

whatever he did eventually spend it on would have sentimental value and it’s always nice for the giver to hear something like “by the way mum I used that birthday money to buy a new socket set, thanks”

using the actual notes is a bit OTT but if you accept what I wrote above then it is just an extension of the principle.
I am sorry you got into an argument about it I hope you both get over it quickly

My H is very sentimental about objects - he won’t let me throw away a bag of ancient cassette tapes, which we don’t even have any means of listening to any more. His job is linked to preserving and conserving objects, which I don’t think is a total coincidence. His parents are big on preserving things, and are still using an deathtrap oven they bought in the 1970s. Pre-war babies. Yorkshire thrift. But it can be unhealthy. My MIL definitely has hoarding tendencies.

But bank notes sounds really bonkers to me. A solution would be for them to send a cheque. Assuming he does online banking he could photograph the cheque but keep the physical object to treasure forever, so best of both worlds!

I think he sounds like a beautiful soul.

He sounds like a plonker and I would be telling him to get a grip rather than apologising any more.

I am not totally unsentimental. I see why items can have sentimental value to people and can tell a story of family history. But a wadge of bank notes which can be easily replaced at the next visit to the ATM? Which, of course, you had already offered to do.

Who the fuck forms emotional attachments to bank notes? Surely his mother's intention was for him to buy himself something nice with the money, not to form a ridiculous attachment to the cash itself??!!

He could have some attachment issues from childhood, perhaps his DM wasn’t emotionally or physically available to him, maybe he didn’t feel a priority due to other siblings, mothers own needs etc. He needs to explore this in therapy. You did nothing wrong but he is placing significance onto inanimate objects that feel like a thread of love from his mother.

I wouldn't be sentimental about the actual notes but I would be pissed off if my DH had taken some of my birthday money without asking

This is utterly bonkers OP!! What a sop your DH is! 🤦‍♀️ I couldn't live with someone so wet 🤷‍♀️ Stop apologising and tell him to get a bloody grip!

I keep chuckling at this. I must have re-read it several times 😆 🤣 😂 caressing each one! 😆 I can't breathe for laughing 😆

Was it him or you that 'ended up crying'? If it was you, I don't think you're a robot. Is he neuro-divergent by any chance? There can be a tendency to fixate on small details, or kick off if something has 'changed' from its original and preferred state. Otherwise, apologise (which you have done) and say he needs to move on now because he's upsetting you and it was an accident.

He sounds bonkers and not in a remotely endearing way 🫠

I don't think you can tell other people they are 'too sentimental'. It is up to them how they feel about their own things.

Has he said 'you can take money whenever you want from my drawer' or has he previously said 'there is some money in my drawer that you can use' as those are different things.

All you can do is apologise and in future check before you take money from the drawer.

This is my dh too

He cried over it? This is nuts.