To think DH is too sentimental?

There is difference between being sentimental and batshit. Your dh is the latter.

The sweets were a particular chocolate bar bought in France and not available in the UK.

The more I read this thread, the more this would be perfect 😱

That’s a hoarder in the making right there.

He wanted to spend them while thinking about his mum getting them out of the cash machine for him....

Bloody hell, what a bat shit statement to make!!

Tell him to use the rest of the cash to get himself a grip!!!

I can imagine my 4yo having this reaction, OP, if I spent his 'special' €2 coin and replaced it with an identical €2 coin.

My 7yo, however, is mature enough to know that this makes absolutely no difference, and that money is fungible.

Is your DH less emotionally and cognitively developed than my 7yo (to give you a sense of his overall maturity level, his current word <i>de jour<i> is 'buttload')? For your sake, I really hope not.

👏👏👏

But you spending the specific notes doesn't mean his mum thought about him any less! She didn't select those specific notes! She was gifting him the monetary value and he still has that, because you replaced it!

Do you think he'd see the funny side if he told his mum? If I asked someone if they'd found something nice to spend my gifted money on and they said 'Well my DW accidentally used those specific notes, so I'll actually be spending the ones she replaced them with!', I would think it was a joke.

I'd have slightly more sympathy if, for example, his DM had picked out a specific brand of chocolates or cologne that had a sentimental reason, you used that and weren't able to replace with the exact brand. Or if money was tight and you using the notes on a haircut meant he wouldn't be able to get a treat of the initial intended value. But this is bananas, and I'm very sentimental

Miming his mum getting the cash out 🤣😬 sorry I know that wasn't a funny moment for you but oh god, what the actual heck 😂

TBH he sounds quite unhinged.

Potentially money is tight if your parents give you money
that's a reach with literally no evidence from the OP to support it. equally as likely that your parents give you money because you're doing well and there's nothing you need. or lots of other reasons

I’d not dream of spending my husbands birthday money on a haircut for myself. I’d feel it was thoughtless.
OP didn't do so deliberately, she thought it was joint household money. If he wanted to keep the money separate he should have kept it in his wallet and not in the household money drawer!

As much as I agree it’s just cash and it can be replaced, it was his birthday money, that he wanted to go and spend on himself for his treat.
This two sentences contradict themselves. If you accept the actual notes themselves are irrelevant it doesn't matter if it is those particular notes or any other notes (or indeed pay by debit), he will still spend it and treat himself on behalf of his parents

your points would make sense if OP spent the money and wasn't going to replace it, but she has. even if he did have some bizarre attachment to the actual notes themselves (we all have weird little quirks) he should have just said "I know this is a bit silly but I would have preferred to keep the actual money.' Not moan about it for TEN MINUTES, guilt tripping his wife into feeling so bad about something that was at least 50%(although I would say 100%) his fault that she ended up crying.

Replace the cash and buy him his favourite beer or biscuit or whatever as a peace offering

Madness

I am pretty sentimental, my house is full of things owned by various grand and great grand parents. Some are meaningful some honestly are tat but tat that someone close to me once treasured. For me I do think it's something more personal to have cash to spend but for a genuine mistake and cash that's replaced I wouldn't hold it against the other person. I generally keep cash as presents in the safe so don't accidentally spend it and spending it is more deliberate but needing the exact notes it on the edge of reasonable imo
Replace the cash and buy him his favourite beer or biscuit or whatever as a peace offering. Make things right, apologise and hopefully draw a line under it all.

Didn't he set her up to fail though by leaving in the petty cash drawer? Surely this is on him for not keeping it separate

It's totally unacceptable that he berated you for so long, including emotional manipulation designed to make you cry. He's cruel. Ridiculous prick.

please can you expand on what the "miming of his mother taking the money out" consisted of? I'm laughing just trying to envision it.
Did he re-enact typing in the PIN on the keypad, then, when the notes came out, holding it to her heart, sighing softly while staring wistfully into the distance (in the approximate direction of your house), before raising the notes to her lips, kissing them, and whispering "My dear son..."?
Meanwhile some old lad behind her with his whippet is saying "come on love, I don't have all day."
Also, did he make any beepy noises to represent the ATM?

Get the money out, put it in an envelope and give it to him. If he complains that the notes are "not the same" , explain that of course they won't have the exact same mixture of traces of cocaine, covid particles and cum that the original ones handled by his DM had, but that you tried your best to fix the mistake.

Maybe you could go to the hairdresser and ask for those notes back in exchange for other, non sentimental bank notes to the same value

I’m as sentimental as the day’s long but this is beyond all reason.

Funniest thing I have read on here. Miming his mother at the cash machine 😂

It's OTT, he could have moved the money out of the drawer to somewhere else if it was that important to him to spend those particular notes. I would ask him to do this in future so there's no confusion. If money were tight and you couldn't replace the amount right away, I could have undertood why he was upset, but that doesn't seem to be the situation here.

If he's like this while his Mum is alive and well... what will he be like on her possible ill health or worse!

it must have lasted like 10 minutes, complete little mimes of his mum at the cash machine, thinking of him whilst she gets the money out.

How on earth did you not burst out laughing.

Also agree - he is a hoarder in the making.

complete little mimes of his mum at the cash machine, thinking of him whilst she gets the money out.

oh my god COME ON this can't be real.
You know what...I've been on MN for nearly a decade....but here it is....my first ever LTB

I get the first example, the glass is a memory link to your parent who passed away. A pack of sweets is not comparable and in my mind on the same train as getting upset about spent money. What's the sentiment linked to the packet of sweets?
(I'm not trying to be mean horrible asking this, I just genuinely would like to know so I know the feeling and thought behind it)