To wonder if ‘body positivity’ has gone too far?

Tbh I don't think it's body positivity that's the problem, I think it's peoples complete lack of resilience when it comes to having a difficult conversation or hearing something negative said about them. It takes resilience and skill to accept negative criticism. And I'm not talking about unsolicited comments, I mean it's got to the point where people will complain that their GP commented negatively on something. People don't even have the resilience to accept medical advice.
There was a poster on a other thread that wants to kick up a fuss at her child's school because he got a timeout on the carpet for 60 seconds.
It's not just body positivity, we have gone to an extreme with positivity and become extremely selfish.

Are you overweight, OP? These threads seem to pop up pretty frequently and I'm always curious about who starts them and why.

I'm fortunate in that I seem to have a metabolism that keeps me slim and I literally have never spent a Saturday morning thinking about whether heavier people are feeling too good about themselves and that what the world needs is for me to express my concern.

From the heavier people I have known in my life, I really don't think they are that way down to a burning desire to join a 'body positivity' movement. Surely, other than at the outer edges (similar to the pro-ana edges), it's just aimed at helping people feel happy with themselves as they are?

I'm overweight. I'm not solely fat though. Yes, I have excess body fat but I have bones and flesh and skin and nerves and tendons and muscles and fingernails and toenails and hair and all the other things that make me human the same as a person who weighs less than me.

Fat as an adjective is steeped in negativity. It's always used as an insult.

I feel that because size is such a visible "vice" it's easier to be judged on it. For so long being overweight has been associated with cruel taunts such as ugly, lazy, stupid etc, it must feel like society has swapped weapons and is now using the 'health' stick to beat people with. It's no wonder that some people have had enough and decided to stick two fingers up at the world.

Many people do something that's not good for their long term health and which costs the NHS money including drinking, contact sports, unsafe sex, speeding, not storing unused fireworks in a metal tin etc But there seems to be less public scrutiny and associated taunts with these risky behaviours, whereas size is still viewed as fair game.

Just love how fat people don’t like being called fat… Please give us another word to describe the opposite of slim or skinny (because that’s still allowed isn’t it?) Or are we to remove all adjectives from our language for fear of being honest and offending someone.

Yes OP. I agree wholeheartedly with you and understand what you mean. These other posters being obtuse intentionally also know exactly what you mean.

Another "you can't be healthy if you are fat" fake concern troll. Boring!

Why Mumsnet of course. Where the fatties are fair game.

Im always confused by this argument that fat people are promoting being fat just by doing the same things thin people do.. if fat people create content about hair or fashion people read into it that they are making some kinda political statement or something.. in a way that thin people with the same content don’t. You are just showing your predjudice op.

I did not know about the height thing, I’m 5 11” and my blood pressure tends to run high. Never had it mentioned that being leggy would mean I’m at risk.

I’m fat. This is due to a combination of things, including a trauma response. I do not pretend that at size 20, I am healthy, or that my weight should be normalised as being ok however in the last week alone:

• went into Greggs to pick up a sandwich for lunch. As I walked in, two workmen were walking out and started making oinking noises and laughing at me.
• A man in a supermarket commented, “look at the state of it” whilst looking me up and down with disgust
• In a clothes shop, some young women were staring at me saying “she thinks they sell her size in here!” (Reader, they do sell up to size 24).
• Found out one of my child’s friend’s mum calls me “Fat Fruity”.

I am a human being with feelings like anyone else. Is fat really the worst thing I can be? What bothers strangers so much they need to comment? Should I walk around with a tshirt saying, “I have private health insurance, I’m not costing you any money”? I would love to be slim like I was up until the age of 24, but I am rape survivor. It has taken me a long time to not feel worthless and as much as I can work on my own self esteem and mental health it is battered down by this behaviour from fellow humans.

"OP mentioned she doesn’t like eating takeout and didn’t understand how others could eat it, and that it made her feel like crap. The comments quickly turned into a pile-on, accusing her of ‘food-shaming.’"

Yep and if someone says they wouldn't have dinner if they had 3 courses for lunch they'll be accused of 'competitive under-eating'.

Its a balance like the rest of life. Obesity causes lots of health problems but I’m not about to publicly denounce them. I wouldn’t say anything to anyone who drinks too much or smokes or partakes in extreme/ dangerous sports either.

I do think body positivity can be a good thing. If you can love yourself no matter your size then you can care about yourself enough to, hopefully, make good decisions. I think there is a vicious cycle; being depressed because you’re overweight then eating to feel better then feeling more depressed. Possibly body positivity can help break this cycle.

I’m sure it’s not helpful for everybody. A bit like an alcoholic hanging out with heavy drinkers. You can use body positivity to mask your own issues.

True about the height thing yes

With the waist though, my waist is still too big and its not described as big waistedness but it is 'adipose tissue around the middle'. Thats not a medical term I dont think but if people have more fat around their middle, as you say, its a problem, it indicates a wider risk

Your waist should be less than half of your height. I dont think mine is going to get any smaller which is a worry

Yeah, people get defensive really fast. I can't eat takeaways either, they make me feel ill, especially curry. If you aren't used to foods with a lot of oil then it can make you feel bad. It's not food shaming, it's a reality.

I wouldn't randomly comment on the health risks to an obese person unless they were very close to me and I was concerned, but if they were sprouting the body positivity tripe that you can be healthy at any size then I would respond.

Yeah it could work both ways which is why getting hung up on the specific phrasing probably isn't that helpful.

I view obesity in the same way as smoking. I’m not bothered if people are overweight or smoke but don’t try and tell me it’s healthy.

"If you think 'I am a lazy, greedy, terrible person' then you can sink into apathy and feel like there is no point battling against your shameful nature. If you think 'being overweight is caused by external factors' maybe you feel more encouraged to take action and fight against it."

It could work the other way around as well.

I think this reflects the problem with the OP as well. It's people taking some things that are said online as an indication that 'everyone thinks this way and no one is allowed to challenge it!' like we're all living in 1984. Get off the internet - or even just look at more of the internet! - and you will see a plethora of viewpoints exist and people say all sorts of things all the time.

It absolutely is a health issue and is treated that way, factually, without judgement or shame by bariatric services and experts, thats why the language is what it is, just straightforward.

And for some other services they will treat it as health condition that carries risk too, health insurance, travel insurance etc etc. Mine came down considerably when I lost weight, bonus!

What audience are you concerned about? Surely the vast majority of people over the age of say 10 know about the health risks of being overweight?

There is no way a small number of people being confident and overweight is going to cancel out the huge social and health messages about weight?

its like suggesting a butterfly will move an elephant!

"A few points overweight for some BAME patients is often a very high risk factor in diabetes so it depends. Its very difficult to cover everything."

Is a high-risk factor, necessary an illness. Being tall is a high-risk factor for having high blood pressure, but we don't consider height an illness, unless very extreme.

Having a waist over 30ins is sometimes considered a high risk for diabetes. When I had such a waist (but was still not overweight), I was never said to 'have big waistedness'.

I get what OP means. There are very obese people who have popular channels, patreons, streams, especially mukbangers and you rarely see anything negative in their comments and there is more positivity.

Then there is poor Eugenia Cooney, she is EXTREMELY ill with anorexia, being exploitsed by her parents, all stemming it seems from sexual assault which she posted a vid about before she got so unhealthily thin. She gets nothing but negativity and anyone who is positive to her is deemed a fetishist (probably true to be fair)

Both of these are EXTREMELY unhealthy lifestyles and will cause their eventual deaths.

You see comments begging Eugenia to get proper help and put weight on, but when the obese "influencers" start dieting and working out, there's more comments stating their disappointment that they are no longer embracing their obesity.
There are huge double standards at play online, yet at the same time, in general in real life society, both extremes are treated as unhealthy and nothing to aspire to.

Well again, would it really matter if someone overweight regarded it as an illness? It could make it easier to tackle if someone felt like it was a condition that they needed to treat (through diet, exercise and/or medication) rather than viewing it as a case of gluttony or laziness. If you think 'I am a lazy, greedy, terrible person' then you can sink into apathy and feel like there is no point battling against your shameful nature. If you think 'being overweight is caused by external factors' maybe you feel more encouraged to take action and fight against it. I don't know, but it just doesn't seem like a problem to me if fatness is medicalised in this way. It is ultimately a health issue, so why would this be unjustified?

gonnabeteoubleemma · Today 10:54

Even Lizzo realises that being obese isn't attractive or healthy and is losing weight
Lizzo came close to stopping performing so many times due to mh because of people commenting on her weight. The obese people who lose weight will always have people commenting unless they get down to a size non existent, they won’t look at her actively losing weight they’ll just comment on her size.

Op why shouldn’t a person flaunt themselves no matter what size they are? So sad that eg if someone says ‘ooh look at my new top’ and aren’t a certain weight people should assume they shouldn’t be showing themselves.

Obesity isn't attractive , be it human, horse, dog or cat.

Even Vets are saying animals are becoming morbidly obese.

SO many dog treats around these days.

Birthday cakes for dogs?!

There are some really obese squirrels near us that get fed by people-

Dogs can catch them so easily as the squirrels are too fat to move rapidly.

Obesity isn't good for any creature.